To think this is inappropriate in anyone’s language?

[mrlistersgelfbride]

Still thinking about an encounter yesterday at work.

Me , waiting for the person in front of me to use a machine, a couple of people stood in earshot. I was standing and probably slouching a little. I’m a size 12 ish, bit of a belly as I sometimes eat and drink more than I should but nothing you’d look twice at.

My supervisor (female) : “So tell me , is there something in there (points to my stomach)?”

Me: ”No”

“Are you pregnant?”

“No I am not” (because I am not , 100% sure)

“Come on, are you sure?”

“I’m not pregnant”

“Are you pregnant?”

“No. It must be these trousers and I’ve got a belly”

“Oh my mistake, it looks like it”

WTAF!
😳 I’m not someone who gets offended at the drop of a hat but this is not ok , is it?
English isn’t her first language but come on!
I had to laugh it off as I was working with her for the rest of the day but I wasn’t impressed.
Colleagues were in earshot and were overly nice to me after as they didn’t know where to put themselves.

YABU- It’s ok to ask, or language barrier reasons make this acceptable
YANBU- Not acceptable

Yes: this is exactly it! She did not take no for an answer. Repeatedly asking when I had already said no, and it was in front of others.

Ask her if she'd like to take a closer look and then lock her head between your thighs. Grip tightly. Then see if you can twist her around. Abisetaoshi, backward force down. Flip her on her back and finish by sitting on her. But watch out that she does pull a koshikudake, which is an inadvertent collapse. Anyway, once you've got her down, you can fart in her face.

She was pretty rude to even ask; but to pursue the question after you had said no was rude in the extreme.

Love it! If only I could

Never ask a woman if she’s pregnant! We used to work with a Nigerian man who said to my colleague along the lines of - is it my imagination, or are you getting fatter? She was a 12/14 so hardly huge. I was there and without even thinking about it said, “you can’t say that!”. He apologised but didn’t seem embarrassed. Later he (privately) told me that in his culture it’s attractive for women to be bigger and he didn’t mean to be rude - he was generally a very nice guy but that was definitely rude/inappropriate of him!

I agree.

Fortunately I am not someone who wants more children (I’m OAD) or who has had a miscarriage or faces infertility.
I feel like I should do someone to prevent her from saying this to someone who is actually going through difficulties.

Yes, you'd never ask as that's how your brain works. But for someone autistic a curved belly = pregnancy and she probably asked you again as she thought you just didnt want to say first time.

I'm also on the spectrum and years ago i probably would have asked. Nowadays I'd probably ask someone else as I know people get offended by things like this.

But from my point of view, I wouldn't get offended. If my stomach looked very rounded then it wouldn't bother me if someone mistook it for pregnancy. It would be a fair point. I'd probably then go and diet/exercise to get rid of it and be somewhat mortified, but I wouldn't be annoyed at the person who asked.

Of course it’s rude.

Next time she tries it point out something back.

I love these things that never happened!

Why not? I’ve been asked if I was pregnant during a very short elevator ride (I was wearing an empire waist dress and leaning back against the wall so I can see where the lady was coming from).

I'd point to her head and say, "Lobotomy? Lobotomy? You have had a full lobotomy yes? Because you talk as if you have had one."

😂😂😂

I was going to ask French or Dutch? I see Dutch has been ruled out...

😂

What never happened?
It did. You don’t have to believe me , but it’s true 🤷‍♀️

This is so true. I once got asked if I meant to loose weight and was I ill. I had had some issues, but couldn't even be bothered to reply to such an invasive comment from a colleague. People need to think before they speak.

It happened to me once on Eurostar.
A guard or whatever asked me "Have you got a little baby in there?".
Obviously I came out with a shocked "No!" because I didn't.
Turned out she was going to upgrade us to 1st class if I was pregnant 🤦🏻‍♀️
I tried to take comfort that I still looked young enough to be pregnant in my mid 50s.

Unacceptable and fucking rude!

Completely unacceptable from a colleague, but even more so from a supervisor, no matter what your size, stature or clothing.

Some nationalities are very direct in a way we find rude. However if you work in those countries (and I have) you have to get used to their language and ways. This supervisor needs retraining and to understand her role and responsibilities. I think, even in Holland/Poland etc, this repeated questioning of your response would be unacceptable.

Wrong thread

Please dont do this. The fault isnt in the shape or size of your body, but in the lack of a filter in this other person.

It's not a language issue, it's a culture issue.

There are indeed places where people are far more forthright. Or, from a British perspective, rude.

It's not okay. I was slim but started on antidepressants which created rapid weight gain. A gynecologist friend took one look at me and asked if I was pregnant. It made me feel like shit.

Even if she’s from a culture where this is not considered rude, if she’s working in a British company she needs to abide by British social norms and button it.

I would have met that with ‘Goodness me! are you always so rude?’ That usually sits them back down on their arse as they don’t know what to say.

It’s rude to ask like that, but to keep on is totally unacceptable. I have had some eye watering questions posed to me over the years by similar people and have found the above very effective.