My toddler turned into an absolute dick

[Fascixx]

There’s no other way to put it. I am so fucking miserable. He is just 3 last week and for the last 3 weeks he’s turned into a complete dick. He was never like this before.

I thought it was illness at first like a virus. It’s clearly not. He is honestly awful. I know he’s just a child and I’m the adult but how the fuck am I supposed to handle this? I have zero support from his awful father who sees him once a week and have a very full on job.

I am so so so unhappy and don’t know how to help him. He lies on the floor screaming for what seems like an hour but more like 30 mins.

Mine too, no advice but solidarity. She barks orders at me, shrieks and screams at me, says ‘I want’ CONSTANTLY, whines and moans.

She was delightful until she turned two and then became a bit more feisty. Right now I’m struggling to see the positives as she’s so demanding. Won’t walk, won’t do bloody anything.

How you respond to tantrums is going to make you or break you. What are you currently doing?

What leads up to him lying on the floor screaming?

They do that. It's like Transformers but you don't get a powering up sound effect to warn you, they're just suddenly total bell ends.

I really sympathise and it’s a contributing factor to me having gone back to work full time after each child was born. Have a snack available at all times, give in on anything that isn’t a deal-breaker, make sure you are exercising and carving out a little time for yourself each week. They do come through it and go back to being delightful- it is just a (difficult) phase.

Probably a leaf on the breeze if DD at the moment is anything to go by!

DS was the same at this age! He’s now 10 and lovely so hang on for a year or so and your lovely child will come back to you

I know this is a long shot but he’s not recently introduced anything new into his diet has he? I ask because ours has a few allergies and when he’s exposed to an allergen he becomes absolutely demonic. He always has his moments but he becomes like a totally different child.

From speaking for the dietician she said this is extremely common and even said to count this as a reaction when looking at trying to introduce allergens back into his diet.

It will be ok. Look into non- violent resistance techniques (I am being serious!)

They loose the plot for about a year and then return to being delightful again.

My 2 year old had a meltdown earlier because I tipped her poo from the potty into the toilet, she wanted to keep it...

@Fascixx

"I have zero support from his awful father"

"I am so so so unhappy"

Children are so unbelievably sensitive, he will be feeling everything you are, but intensified.

You understand why you are currently struggling, he looks to you for his security.

Give the tantrums as little attention as possible - walk away to another room and look busy! When it's overused just give a cheery 'oh have you finished? Let's go and play this, or Let's have lunch then'. Give attention for the behaviour you want to see and largely ignore the bad - the biggest mistake we make as parents is giving lots of attention trying to stop tantrums. Let it run it's course and it will be shortlived if you aren't giving them an audience!

Mine screams hysterically at me over things like wanting to listen to Baa Baa Black Sheep on the yoto player and so I put on baa baa black sheep … I mean, I guess they don’t know their own minds at this age. And she’s recently dropped her nap so she’s very tired (I think she still needs it but she just won’t.) But it’s such hard work and it has got me down a bit this week. I used to love spending time with her but it’s felt like a chore lately.

@ThejoyofNC 99% of the time I just repeat calmly that I am here if he wants a cuddle. Sometimes I try and pick him up but he turns into a board so he slips through my arms.

On occasion I have lost my calmness and shouted please just stop it. Not my best moment

@Neolara thanks. I hope so

Ah. You now have a threenager. Good luck.
😘

They all do.

@Clarabell77 today it was because he dropped his sheep

It passes. Deep breaths, distraction and don’t pay too much attention. One that often (not always) worked with mine was making a big fuss about something really interesting that you’re doing(any old shit). Curiosity got the better of them and they’d calm down and come see what was so interesting. My youngest has ADHD so he was an arse until
about 11. He’s the most wonderful human being now at 18.

Exactly . The more you try and comfort them during a meltdown the worse they get . It doesn’t work . It actually irritates them .

In my experience, extreme tantrums are the result of an upset. Mine went through three weeks of appalling tantrums and it turned out it was because he father had been visiting and hadn't said goodbye when he left.

I love their passion about things that make no sense to us 😂

This change happened to my child at age 3 too. It's like a switch was flipped and suddenly he was really defiant. It's developmentally normal, as far as I'm aware, but might seem more intense with some children. Hang in there.

I was you and it wasn't helping. My toddler was becoming awful.
I have started rigidly implanting the naughty step (not reflection step, naughty step - no sugar coating) . I sit with the child.

Anyway it took less than 3 days of strict implementation and I now have my wonderful child back. Tantrums have almost disappeared and are now only present in overwhelm situations, not when they want to be manipulative. Because whoever said toddlers can't do bad things / manipulate is a completely deluding themselves / lying.