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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain that Halloween party was too scary

58 replies

strawberriesandcream23 · 24/10/2025 18:21

Now my daughter is a sensitive soul however we attended a Halloween party for an activity club she does earlier this week (ages 4-6) and the decorations were terrifying! I imagined it would be a party with Halloween crafts, a few games and dancing etc however we turned up to a room completely dark with a huge creepy clown hanging from the door to enter followed by figures activated by movement which jumped up and make creepy noises. We had to leave early as she was absolutely terrified and now wont sleep and won’t go through any doors alone as she thinks the clown man is gonna be hanging there. Now I know Halloween is meant to be scary but is this inappropriate for that age group? I mean only one other child seemed scared so maybe it’s just my child

OP posts:
Whaleandsnail6 · 24/10/2025 18:28

I wouldn't complain, especially if only one other child was scared... doesn't sound like it was particularly inappropriate if the majority liked it

I think its a lesson learnt for you that maybe this year your daughter doesn't like Halloween themed things. I'd choose some funny decorations for home with her and try and show her Halloween doesn't have to be scary for her

Overthebow · 24/10/2025 18:30

If only one other was scared then it probably wasn’t the decorations. My 5 year old dd would have loved it as she likes these kind of things.

TardisDweller · 24/10/2025 18:30

Perhaps Halloween parties just aren't for her yet, a lot of places do 'gentle' or 'scare free' days now.

OptiMumm · 24/10/2025 18:31

My kids would've loved that.

My friend's kids would've hate it.

Much like kids the world over really.

As always, it's down to the parents to check, especially if their kids are sensitive.

You'll make yourself look very silly if you try to put your mistake onto the organisers.

Livpool · 24/10/2025 18:31

I HATE clowns but it sounds age appropriate to me. Has your daughter not seen anything like this before? Loads of houses round here are gory so maybe we are just numb to it!

Hope your daughter recovers soon

Arlanymor · 24/10/2025 18:34

I think you said it yourself in your post where you mentioned she was a sensitive soul. Both my goddaughters loved that kind of thing at that age and would beg to go again! if your daughter is within the age group and others seemed to be enjoying it then I think it would be unfair to complain. Instead seek out 'no scare' activities - even Disney do them acknowledging that not all kids are the same.

SodOffbacktoaibu · 24/10/2025 18:38

Going against the grain it seems but aged 4-6... That's totally inappropriate. Just because people seem to have lost all sight of what is age appropriate does not make it ok.

My son's friends were playing GTA aged 10. They seemed ok with it. Does not actually mean it is ok.

Original poster
strawberriesandcream23 · 24/10/2025 18:39

Thanks for all the replies. I would have never have taken her if I thought it would’ve have been like that, the clown pretty was scary 😂
We did a family fun ghost train thing last year which she loved but it wasn’t creepy scary, no clowns covered in blood , more like a few decorations and witches etc, this was another level. But lesson learnt, no Halloween activities for a while!

OP posts:
cramptramp · 24/10/2025 18:40

Just because your daughter didn’t t like it doesn’t mean you should complain.

Original poster
strawberriesandcream23 · 24/10/2025 18:45

SodOffbacktoaibu · 24/10/2025 18:38

Going against the grain it seems but aged 4-6... That's totally inappropriate. Just because people seem to have lost all sight of what is age appropriate does not make it ok.

My son's friends were playing GTA aged 10. They seemed ok with it. Does not actually mean it is ok.

I won’t complain but I still think it was inappropriate, she and most of the group are all 4 so pretty young for that in my opinion

OP posts:
PearlClutzsche · 24/10/2025 18:46

SodOffbacktoaibu · 24/10/2025 18:38

Going against the grain it seems but aged 4-6... That's totally inappropriate. Just because people seem to have lost all sight of what is age appropriate does not make it ok.

My son's friends were playing GTA aged 10. They seemed ok with it. Does not actually mean it is ok.

A ridiculous comparison, not even remotely comparable. 🙄

But no, OP, I don't think you should complain if most children enjoyed it. I'm sorry your DD was frightened though.

Schoolsschsxho · 24/10/2025 18:47

I think you should complain!!
totally inappropriate for that age range.

Superhansrantowindsor · 24/10/2025 18:51

I hate Halloween. I hate the idea of scaring people. I hate the association of dead bodies with evil and that ghosts etc are out to terrorise us. I hate the endless plastic tat everywhere and I absolutely hate seeing kids with costumes that include fake blood. I would never and did never take my dc to Halloween themed events. YABU to complain about a Halloween event being scary as that’s the whole point these days.

WaltzingWaters · 24/10/2025 18:55

Seems I’m in the minority here but gosh, that sounds completely inappropriate for that age. But my DS would be terrified. I think it depends how it was advertised as to whether to complain or not.

OptiMumm · 24/10/2025 18:55

Schoolsschsxho · 24/10/2025 18:47

I think you should complain!!
totally inappropriate for that age range.

Who are you to decide this when only the OP's and one other child was scared?

Original poster
strawberriesandcream23 · 24/10/2025 18:55

I know Halloween is meant to be scary, I wouldn’t ever consider complaining if it was a party for older children and my children came home scared, it’s more the fact it was for mostly 4 years olds. I would’ve have thought a Halloween party for that age would be activities like pumpkins decoration etc

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 24/10/2025 18:58

Some of these Halloween decorations are really scarey. Somebody had a life size horrible skeleton in the front garden one year. Ridiculous.

HarbourClankCat · 24/10/2025 18:59

I think you can give feedback constructively.

I have done lots of these events large and small from littlies to adults only.

Generally for that age group it’s all about pumpkins, broomsticks and black cats. The odd white sheet ghost.

A bit older (primary children) you move to Scooby Doo.

Then older than that into frights and classic movies.

Whoevenarethey · 24/10/2025 19:01

Is this an activity centre run by volunteers or a paid for business? I think I would be more likely to complain if paying a lot and it's a business, but if it was a voluntary organisation I think I would leave it as without volunteers you won't have an activity centre to go to and it won't be a problem in the future!

sausage245 · 24/10/2025 19:01

I wouldn’t necessarily complain but I’d give feedback. It’s helpful for them to know. I agree that there’s a difference between childish spooky (witches in hats, pumpkins etc) and creepy spooky (evil clowns, blood, disfigured faces etc).

I wouldn’t expect a party for kids 4-6 to have anything too frightening and I’d let them know your dd was really upset which resulted in you leaving early. Maybe they’ll tone it down next year.

OptiMumm · 24/10/2025 19:05

strawberriesandcream23 · 24/10/2025 18:55

I know Halloween is meant to be scary, I wouldn’t ever consider complaining if it was a party for older children and my children came home scared, it’s more the fact it was for mostly 4 years olds. I would’ve have thought a Halloween party for that age would be activities like pumpkins decoration etc

A lesson learned to ask more questions next time.

Hope your DD will be ok soon Flowers

DBD1975 · 24/10/2025 19:07

I agree OP totally inappropriate for children that age.
They should only be doing 'Happy Halloween', that's what I would have expected (although I might have checked first).

Original poster
strawberriesandcream23 · 24/10/2025 19:12

Thanks all. Probably should have said in the first post it wasn’t a party I booked to take her too, it was part of a weekly activity class we go to where they do different activities, games etc each week (all age appropriate) so we pay a monthly sub for that , a bit like scouts so that why I didn’t expect it to be that scary

OP posts:
Whoevenarethey · 24/10/2025 19:33

strawberriesandcream23 · 24/10/2025 19:12

Thanks all. Probably should have said in the first post it wasn’t a party I booked to take her too, it was part of a weekly activity class we go to where they do different activities, games etc each week (all age appropriate) so we pay a monthly sub for that , a bit like scouts so that why I didn’t expect it to be that scary

I wouldn't say anything in this case then, or maybe volunteer to help out. That way you will be able to make a valuable contribution to the activity group and be involved in the decisions for events and activities.

shiverm · 24/10/2025 19:41

I mean… I’m not incensed by it but… a clown covered in blood?! It’s making me lol at how inappropriate that is for a 4-5 year old…what were they thinking?? My 5 yo niece reallllly wants to hear about the scary zombie game I play and is desperate to see the “clickers” but do I want that to be in her visual memory?? No! Let her imagine her own scary monsters! Like scary is all good, but blood and gore…errr