Husband not taking medical event (seizure/tia)?? seriously. What do i do?

[Fivegreenfrogs]

I'm so scared and I'm at a loss as to what to do.
He's massively down played this. Partially as he has no memory of what happened (he says oh I just fainted) and partially because that's his hyper independent personality.
I did call an ambulance and made sure he got in it. At the time that wasn't hard as he was not completely aware of what was happening.. asked me in the ambulance where we were etc.
But once at A&E he kept trying to leave in between sleeping on my lap. Any time he'd wake he'd ask why we were there, say he was fine and it was a waste of time.
I had to take his phone and car keys off him so he wouldn't drive straight home when they let us go. They told him not to drive for at least 24 hours but he was trying to drive home. I managed to prevent this for ten hours.. which tbf he did mostly sleep through only waking once and trying to leave, but easily being persuaded back to bed. Eventually he did get the keys off me and drive home which I guess we had to as we were at a friend's house in the middle of nowhere (i can't drive) and she couldn't have us staying any longer. We also needed to pick our kids up from my mum's who had already had them far longer than she had agreed to. (She's disabled so it just wouldn't have been ok to leave them there longer) I do regret giving him back his keys though. I was terrified the whole way home although he drove perfectly fine.
He then slept 12 hours over night and has been unusually tired since although won't admit this.
The bad thing is that this happened out of area so even though I got him to ring the GP the next morning they had no record of any of it. It's now been several days and they still don't have the discharge notes.
My DH is also still saying he just fainted so I'm worried they won't take it seriously.
He did not just faint.
We were at my friends house. Staying overnight as another friend was briefly visiting from the country where he lives. So we just had takeaway and were catching up and watching a documentary. We did have some drinks but no one was drunk. I had two beers for example.
I went up to bed about midnight. So did my friend who's house it was. My husband stayed downstairs with male friend watching another documentary.
Next thing I know the friend is shaking me awake, tearful, saying my husband has collapsed.
I run downstairs and my husband is laid on the floor. His eyes are wide open and his face is contorted into this kind of snarl, with one side of his mouth up.
I rush to him and obviously try speaking to him but he doesn't respond at all. His eyes don't even move when I wave my hand in front of him.
My friend says that they were just talking normally then my husband had stood up saying he was going to turn in. He had then walked towards the door but stumbled and waved his arms about. He then knelt down and leaned against the table. My friend went over and asked if he were OK. Apparently my husband did reply but was making no sense and not saying real words. He then suddenly flopped backwards into the position he was in when I came in and had been like that, eyes open but unresponsive, for 5 mins. He got my other friend up and then me up. My husband was breathing but quite heavily. My friend said he had previously made some strange sounds.
I said we need to ring an ambulance. Which I did and whilst on the phone to them my husband suddenly sat up. The woman on the phone asked to speak to him and I handed him the phone which he took.. but when he spoke it was just nonsense so I got the phone back.
The ambulance arrived and they did various tests on him including an ecg. At this point he was saying normal words but didn't seem to understand what was going on at all. He just did what they said. But when they advised he come to hospital he was suprised to see the ambulance abd asked who it was for. When we were sat in the ambulance he asked where we were. He then asked how we had got to my friends house.

After we had been sat in A&E a while he did remember how and why we were at my friends house but had no memory of what happened apart from feeling tired. So he said he must have fainted.
I do not think this was fainting.
He had another ecg at the hospital as well as some bloods and a CT scan. None of this showed anything untoward.
The doctor we saw said she would have referred him to neurology but he wasn't in area so he would have to follow up with his GP ASAP.
It's been a few days now and the notes haven't gone across yet. He told the GP he felt fine when he rang which is a lie. He also framed it as fainting.
It was really traumatic and I'm just at a loss as to how to make him take it seriously and actually get checked out.
He had this week booked off work anyway luckily. But he drives for work! Which i am very frightened about. What if it happens again??
Any advice from anyone about what could have happened here and what I should be expecting from the GP would be great.
And any advice on how to get through to my husband would also be great.

From your description my primary suspicion would be a seizure rather than a stroke. This won't show on a CT or on an MRI afterwards because it's an activity problem rather than a structural one like a clot or bleed (although it can be caised by a structural problem that might be visible). It would need an EEG or other scan of brain activity while it was actually happening, so unfortunately it's not easy to get a definite diagnosis from a single event - or to get a hard test result that will convince him.

I agree with PP that getting yoir friend who witnessed it to write an account of what happened, and for.you to do the same, will be very helpful.for the GP. And might also help convince your husband if it's not coming just from.you.

A surprisingly high number of people do have just one seizure - for reasons unknown - and it never happens again. But there is a definite risk it could happen again, or be a sign of a serious underlying problem, so it's very important he gets it checked as soon as possible. Keep badgering him to make an appointment - and make sure you go with him, because he wouldn’t be able to describe what happened even if he wanted to.

From your description it sound like epilepsy, a grand mal seizure. My sister has that. He should NOT be driving. And he should definitely get checked out by a doctor.

DP had an episode similar to this and if I hadn't filmed it he wouldn't have believed that it had happened.

Ridiculously he also self discharged from hospital, and refused testing.

After a lot of complaining going back and forth and further testing they put it down to hemipleigic migraines.

They've said it probably will happen again, but he'd left it so long they couldn't tell if it was a seizure even if it was actually a seizure. Tell him to get a proper diagnosis time is of the essence and he needs to go back.

Thanks guys. He's got a phone appointment with GP this morning, being called back. I'll make sure to be present.
The notes are now also on his app but disappointingly do not say he should be referred to neurology as the doctor said at the hospital.

My DH does get migraines so it's possible this could be related in some way
I'm definitely putting pressure on him to get it properly investigated

Just want to forewarn you that our GP refused to refer to neurology.

His reasoning was that referrals from GPs to neurology take such a long time that they likely won't find anything and the best way to get seen by neurology is during an active episode through A&E, so it is likely that even your GPs hands are tied.

My father had several tias in his late 40s, I remember begging him to please go to the dr before he had a massive stroke and he laughed me off saying hed never have a stoke. 12 hours later he had a massive one in the middle of the night which caused substantial brain damage. Completely ruined his life . Tias are a warning and should be listened to or he could end up like my father permanently disabled and brain injured before hes 50 and had to spend 6 months in hospital , never worked in his profession again and it was years before he was capable of driving again . A trip to his GP would be so much easier

This really concerns me. I expected the comment about being referred to be on the discharge notes but it's not. The notes are terrible and make it sound like he just fell over whilst drunk. That is not what happened at all. There's no info on there about how his eyes were open,or the confusion afterwards and the strange fixed facial expression.
He had only had two drinks!
I'm really cross

Sending solidarity and understanding of your frustration - been there.

I really hope he can be persuaded to follow this up.

While it could be any number of manageable conditions, it's really important he makes sure there's nothing underlying that might need urgent attention. Better to rule out everything at this stage than be blind sided further down the line x

Sending a hug x

Not the point but why did you have to take his keys to stop him driving himself home from the hospital if you got to the hospital in an ambulance ?

@Fivegreenfrogs have you contacted the hospital he went to?

It was my friends house he was trying to drive home from. I wanted him to sleep but he wanted to just drive home. He was discharged at 11am. My friend said he could sleep there till the evening which he eventually did after I took his keys.

He can kill not just himself but other people if he continues to drive.

I think denial is very common, especially it seems, for men.

i have experience of this with my dad and DH (dad it was a TIA incidentally)

if I’m really honest I dont think you will get very far “making” him care. The Gp won’t intervene to look after an adult who doesn’t want care because his wife asked for it. Medical professionals expect adults to take responsibility for their care.

if it helps, My dad was never told to stop driving even though his TIa resulted in significant eye sight loss.

No but he's got the discharge letter now it came on the app this morning. And it's useless. Just looks like he fainted and there's no mention of the neurology referral that the doctor had spoken of.

he is probably aware he will have to stop driving, a similar thing happened to me. I had to stop driving for 6 months then it took 5 months for me to get my licence back. It was very difficult. If you don't drive I imagine that would greatly impact all your family.

Why are so many men so stubborn about their health? I get he will be scared but ignoring it isn't going to help.

Ask for referral to the tia clinic?

That's awful. Hopefully he'll get some joy from the gp?

I'm not sure how much a GP will talk to someone who is not the actual patient but you can certainly threaten it. And I would go nuclear and contact his employer and DVLA if he refuses to take this seriously. He could wipe out a whole family while driving if this happened again.
Chances are, he can be treated, but only if he engages.
I feel you OP. My OH is ridiculous about anything medical but fortunately nothing as serious as this yet.

When the brain malfunctions / has a glitch it can signify all manner of things, from the minor - like stress, to much more serious issues. Nine times out of ten it's going to be somewhere in the middle, and manageable. The fear of being number 10 should be the driver to hopefully nip anything in the bud.

I think multiple things lead people to avoid facing their fears, practical considerations like loss of income with regard to driving, fear of potential treatments or outcomes, and with men, perhaps the "manly man" / stoic message from society. Also, I don't think it helps that we are blasted with messages that seeking medical help is reserved for being at death's door.

It's a horrible situation for all concerned x

I agree with all this (I have epilepsy too, same type)

I started with migraines, then had a tonic clinic seizure, then started with absences.

I hope he can see how risky it is for him to drive at the moment. He would find his insurance is invalid if he was involved in an accident.

I saw a neurologist privately while on his NHS wait list and we all really knew I had epilepsy, so had me moved up the list for EEG and MRI. Like a previous poster has said, a seizure can usually only be definitively diagnosed if one occurs during an EEG. Though I think process of elimination can rule out other causes of loss of consciousness.

I hope he has a useful call with the GP today.

I think people are being unfair with the dvla. My DH is on a short medical related suspension and his consultant has written to DVLA to say he’s fine to have it back. We have been told this is very common as ability to drive isn’t black and white and people who drive for their jobs would be specifically prioritised to get their licence back if they can.

even so, there is no recommended suspicion for post TIA - why on earth would OP be trying to get his employer and the DVLa to ban him when no medic has recommended this?!

Does he take any regular medication?

We never got an answer for DP but he was taking venlafaxine and had also had 1 dram of whiskey when it happened.

For DP he felt off, so he came downstairs, stumbled a bit, managed to say he felt tired, then every word that came out of his mouth after that was word salad. Nothing made sense at all. He was confused when the paramedics arrived, he flopped over and started grimacing, but came round pretty quickly and said he just had a nap, got to the hospital, discharged himself and then slept on and off for about 3 days, barely surfacing.

When I complained to PALS he had to give permission for them to speak to me and they basically said he had capacity, they couldn't hold him but if he had any concerns he should go back to A&E and that's pretty much what the GP had said to him as well. He did go back in, had his obs and EEG, and didn't get to see a neurologist although the staff said a neurologist had reviewed everything and they said their diagnosis was hemipleigic migraines. He didn't have any sort of head scan so I don't know how they came to that conclusion.

Months later, he also developed tardive dyskenesia which was attributed to the medication he was taking but it always made me wonder if the medication was partly responsible for this strange event.