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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boss keeps contacting me while on leave?

135 replies

wetlettuce41 · 23/10/2025 09:02

AIBU to want to be left alone to enjoy my leave?

Only on my second day of leave, and both days I have had missed calls from my boss at 8am…

Then he got a colleague to text me and ask for a call back.

Yesterday I did phone back, thinking it was urgent.

It really wasn’t. To do with my flexible working arrangement not having its yearly review back in June. This was supposed to be done by previous boss. I logged on yesterday as requested by new boss and sent through all the paperwork, forwarded the emails from June to show that I did send old boss the paperwork… I don’t know why it hasn’t been done. He said HR is on his back about it.

Not my problem is it?

I’ve done what was asked yesterday and this morning I’ve had another 8am phone call when I am trying to relax and text messages asking me to call back.

I work in the public sector. Never had this before. Boss is newly promoted.

OP posts:
Delphiniumandlupins · 23/10/2025 11:44

I understand why you called back yesterday but once you knew the issue you should have said "I am on a/l and will deal with this on my return". You should not have got dragged into explaining or sending through paperwork. I think you should send a text today, reminding them you are on leave. I would also say that calling your personal phone, at 8 am, is completely unreasonable (unless you are the PM or the Pope) and you will report any further instances to HR.

TheSwarm · 23/10/2025 11:48

You need to establish the boundaries and make it absolutely clear you will not tolerate being contacted when you are on leave.

And I would also be booking any time that you did spend working while you were on leave as actual working time to get your leave entitlement back.

wetlettuce41 · 23/10/2025 12:13

FWIW, I don’t start work at 8am on any day, I start later than that by quite a bit. But various people on my team work anything from 7am onwards.

I don’t think I’ll jump to contacting HR or raising a grievance right now. It’s hard to explain but I don’t want to mark myself out as a problem with my boss. Others with a disability might understand how I feel, but I worry causing trouble.

OP posts:
HelenaWaiting · 23/10/2025 12:25

wetlettuce41 · 23/10/2025 09:23

So yesterday I did phone back, as I saw a few missed calls then I had a text from my colleague. I assumed it was something urgent because of that.

Now that I know it’s not… to have more calls at just a few minutes past 8 this morning when I’m in bed has really annoyed me. I’m usually up early as I have a long commute so was looking forward to being able to have a lie in!

I feel in a difficult position as the new boss has been making a point of reviewing mine and other peoples reasonable adjustments (I have a disability), and has made comments that he is needing to check if “people are working in the right place”. There has been at atmosphere since he came of the team feeling on edge. I’m worried if I push back it will make things worse at work for me.

The legal basis for reviewing reasonable adjustments is to ensure they are effective. If he is doing this to intimidate he is guilty of bullying in the workplace and, potentially, in breach of the Equality Act. His comment about people working in the right place is prejudicial. Add in his contacting you whilst on leave and putting pressure on you to do work whilst on leave and he could be in trouble. Go to HR and throw him under the bus. He sounds like a deeply unpleasant individual.

RoseAylingEllisFanClub · 23/10/2025 13:11

It’s not his job to review yours or anyone else’s reasonable adjustments unilaterally.

Reasonable adjustments should be agreed between the workplace and yourself with independent backup from occupational therapists or other professionals as required. Both parties should regularly review the adjustments to ensure they are working effectively - eg if you have a back problem your standing desk hasn’t developed a mechanical problem, the interpreters for a deaf person are delivering well and keeping them up to date, are you using outdated screenreading software and need something new, and so on.

It’s not for him to review and decide that a person is or isn’t in the right job based on their disability and the adjustments needed. That’s not the purpose of reviewing adjustments and he doesn’t have sole power of yea or nay, the onus is corporate.

I get this. I am disabled. I am part of my work’s disability network. I know how hard it is to manage and upskill and advocate for yourself, both on my own account and hearing colleagues’ stories. I have a lifetime’s experience.

You sound quite intimidated and already afraid of rocking the boat even without the latest incidents. You absolutely should escalate to HR as he’s the problem, not you. I get this - I see it often enough among disabled colleagues who absolutely don’t want to rock the boat but then things escalate. Among other things, there’s the concern over getting another job - not so easy for us. So I understand. BUT -

Things won’t get better if you try to manage it yourself on the quiet without drawing attention. It needn’t be a grievance but you could document it in an informal but confidential conversation - but it sounds as if he’s already starting to manage you out by treating you unfairly. That does need escalating and you do need to advocate for yourself.

Or your boss will - and is - taking advantage of your disability work ethic to pile more and more on you until you collapse with the stress of managing your work and your disability. Then you’re managed out.

It’s an uncomfortable and confronting truth I’m afraid and I’m encouraging you with my lived experience as a disabled person and as an activist and advocate for others - please do escalate. His behaviour is unfair and breaks the law and you aren’t playing dirty or telling tales by raising a concern with HR - on a confidential basis if necessary.

Please do feel empowered to raise matters with ACAS and talk them over. That doesn’t mean a grievance is started if that’s your concern - you can just ask them for advice. It’s good, free and confidential advice which will leave you clearer about your legal rights. Ask them about use of personal phones, your legal right to time off, and your right to be treated fairly at work as a woman and a disabled employee. That might help you navigate going forward.

GiggleWiggle246 · 23/10/2025 13:14

I’d send a message back saying for everyday you’ve contacted me will be an extra day I take off for annual leave. Contact HR as your leave is just that, leave from WORK. Furthermore turn your phone off and have an automated reply message from your own email stating you’ll reply to any emails upon your return.

yellowlabrador · 23/10/2025 13:14

I wouldn't even contact him. I would contact HR direct. Question the comments made by him about them being "on his back". I would ask HR to contact him and ask why he is contacting you while you are off. You work in the public sector, so you have a lot of rights and should receive support from HR on this.

Jamandtoastfortea · 23/10/2025 13:14

If Im contacted by work on hols I don’t answer. I listen for a voice mail and then (unless it’s v urgent or a reall quickie) generally text to say Im out and about with the kids all day, no wifi and rubbish reception so can’t help today. Can it wait until xxx - most of the time they’ll apologise and deal with it themselves. ,

BoudiccaRuled · 23/10/2025 13:28

DisplayPurposesOnly · 23/10/2025 09:24

Well yes, but it'd be helpful to know what the contingency plan is rather than turning up to a burnt building 😂

Public sector there won't be one, unless you are an MP, perhaps.
You'd just work from home.
My friend's workplace burnt down (disgruntled member of the public who had been refused planning permission). Nothing was stored in the cloud; all records lost. The staff could do nothing for a few weeks, then they all worked from home for ages. Total nightmare. But no need for the boss to call any of them who were on leave!

Menonut · 23/10/2025 13:32

If you don’t want to make a fuss and tell them not to contact you, don’t even read the messages and send any calls to voicemail. If they ask when you’re back say you went away and had no signal.

Springersrock · 23/10/2025 13:45

My boss does this to me and it drives me nuts. It’s never anything important, she just thinks the world revolves around her.

I put the work group chat on mute (although she’s discovered she can @ me and it gets round the mute) and just ignore any work messages or phone calls. I just ignore them all, I don’t open the messages, don’t pick up the phone or anything

Mind you, I was in Thailand earlier this year and she fucking called me at midnight there - I did answer that one and tore her off a strip - she was apologetic, had forgotten the time difference but while I’m on could I just tell her where to find something. I said no and hung up. She actually hasn’t called me when I’m on leave since

buckeejit · 23/10/2025 13:48

Yanbu - soft complaint to HR in order.

messagebhim back saying you don’t wish to be contacted when you’re on leave. You don’t deal with private matters on work time & you don’t deal with work matters on private time, (unless really urgent which this obv isn’t)

I'm seething on your behalf!

Nurseleaver82 · 23/10/2025 13:52

Just say 'I'm really sorry, I only answered yesterday as I initially thought there was an emergency, I am on leave and would prefer not to be contacted whilst on leave"

Cakeandusername · 23/10/2025 13:53

Not on at all. He shouldn’t be contacting you on your own device at all.
I’d reply I’m in annual leave until x date. It drags your head back into work mode. It will be against all sorts of HR policies.

MrsJeanLuc · 23/10/2025 14:06

wetlettuce41 · 23/10/2025 09:23

So yesterday I did phone back, as I saw a few missed calls then I had a text from my colleague. I assumed it was something urgent because of that.

Now that I know it’s not… to have more calls at just a few minutes past 8 this morning when I’m in bed has really annoyed me. I’m usually up early as I have a long commute so was looking forward to being able to have a lie in!

I feel in a difficult position as the new boss has been making a point of reviewing mine and other peoples reasonable adjustments (I have a disability), and has made comments that he is needing to check if “people are working in the right place”. There has been at atmosphere since he came of the team feeling on edge. I’m worried if I push back it will make things worse at work for me.

It rather depends how senior you are.

Assuming you are no higher than first or second tier of management then what you are describing is unacceptable, and I think you SHOULD log a complaint with HR.

Wrenjay · 23/10/2025 14:07

Ask/request your 2 days to be paid overtime or reinstated to be taken later. He is going to do this all round the Company and it is not a legal requirement that you must adhere to his rules. You must have a contract: look up your terms and conditions. When you are going on leave put a message on your work phone and email that you are out of the office on leave and will reply on your return. Also add that your private email and phone number are not for the Company's use under ANY circumstances and let HR know.

SprayWhiteDung · 23/10/2025 14:11

Cardinalita90 · 23/10/2025 09:36

Clearly YANBU and I'm surprised he thinks 8am is an acceptable time to call anyone whether they're on leave or not! You need to set some boundaries or this will become the norm.

It's a weird time to choose, isn't it?

Many people are either not up or properly breakfasted/ready for the day yet if they are retired, on leave, school holidays or whatever; or otherwise they're getting ready for work or school and likely travelling.

Not that a routine work call is welcome at any time when you're on leave; but 8am is especially likely to be an inconvenient time for many people.

SprayWhiteDung · 23/10/2025 14:14

I wonder how he would react if you turned up with a sandpit and deckchair and set them up near your desk, before getting yourself relaxed, calming music in your headphones and reading your book?

If he complains... well he was the one who decided to bring work to your holiday, so how can he possibly object to the other way around?!

Ratafia · 23/10/2025 14:21

If HR are on your boss's back about something, all he has to do is tell them it will have to await your return. HR of all people should be conscious of the importance of not interrupting your holiday.

PlaceIntheClouds · 23/10/2025 14:38

Reject the calls. Don't even ignore them.
They need to get the hint.

nosleepforme · 23/10/2025 14:40

do not answer
id be asking if they realised that if I’m required to work, they’re required to pay me as regi

WashYourDamnRice · 23/10/2025 14:46

This is why work don't have my personal number. The breaking point came when I had 16 missed calls over some trivial shit that could absolutely have waited. I appreciate this may not be an option but definitely something to think about.

usedtobeaylis · 23/10/2025 14:50

I would be querying him reviewing the reasonable adjustments, not being afraid that he will reverse them. I think you need to raise that and the phone calls with HR - it's up to them and HIS manager to make him aware that he is overstepping his boundaries.

Breadcat24 · 23/10/2025 14:52

One polite email saying I am not sure you realise I am on leave until xxThen ignore

Puzzledandpissedoff · 23/10/2025 14:54

wetlettuce41 · 23/10/2025 11:07

I do have a work phone, but these calls and messages are to my personal phone. Only a couple of colleagues have my number and I have theirs. My boss has my personal number too. It’s pretty standard in my organisation as our work phones are so rubbish, never work properly or have signal.

Then that's up to them to sort it out or get a better system

I do understand your thinking yesterday might have been some sort of emergency, but now true colours have been shown you'll need to shut it down politely and formally - apart from anything else if he's some whizz kid out to make his mark you may need the formality in future