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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boss keeps contacting me while on leave?

135 replies

wetlettuce41 · 23/10/2025 09:02

AIBU to want to be left alone to enjoy my leave?

Only on my second day of leave, and both days I have had missed calls from my boss at 8am…

Then he got a colleague to text me and ask for a call back.

Yesterday I did phone back, thinking it was urgent.

It really wasn’t. To do with my flexible working arrangement not having its yearly review back in June. This was supposed to be done by previous boss. I logged on yesterday as requested by new boss and sent through all the paperwork, forwarded the emails from June to show that I did send old boss the paperwork… I don’t know why it hasn’t been done. He said HR is on his back about it.

Not my problem is it?

I’ve done what was asked yesterday and this morning I’ve had another 8am phone call when I am trying to relax and text messages asking me to call back.

I work in the public sector. Never had this before. Boss is newly promoted.

OP posts:
TheSandgroper · 23/10/2025 09:42

I would be contacting HR and telling them you need yesterday and today given back as two days of leave to be taken another time as you are being expected to work.

Your entitlement to leave is legally mandated and all that.

Borethefuckoff · 23/10/2025 09:45

You’re on leave.
Don’t answer. Block calls from this number until you’re back. Leave phone on silent so you’re not woken.
Tell HR on your return.
There is no obligation!

HelplessSoul · 23/10/2025 09:46

Your new manager is a clueless cunt.

Launch a grievance on him for harassing you while on leave.

Thats the minimum you should be doing OP.

wetlettuce41 · 23/10/2025 09:55

I don’t think HR will give me 2 days back for phone calls? It only took me 10 mins or so to send the paperwork through yesterday, not the whole day. But I feel like it’s set my leave off on the wrong foot, I just don’t want to be bothered about work while I’m off. Especially something that isn’t my fault, I sent my paperwork to my previous manager when I should have and she emailed me and said it was on the system and all sorted- I’ve forwarded those emails yesterday.

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 23/10/2025 09:55

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 23/10/2025 09:04

“I’m on leave. I’ll respond when I’m back.”

Then stop responding. You’re enabling this shitty behaviour.

This.

idri · 23/10/2025 09:56

I’m starting to wonder if we have the same boss - do you work for civil service?

That’s really out of order of him. Start ignoring his messages and say you’ve been busy etc, or alternatively be honest and say you’ve got plans and haven’t had time to get back to him, but that’s easier said than done :/.

I would be tempted to just ignore him though.

Wookiefiend · 23/10/2025 09:58

HelplessSoul · 23/10/2025 09:46

Your new manager is a clueless cunt.

Launch a grievance on him for harassing you while on leave.

Thats the minimum you should be doing OP.

This is terrible advice. Have you ever seen a grievance followed through to it's conclusion and did that ever end well for the complainant? Sometimes it's necessary, but for this?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 23/10/2025 10:00

I’d text him saying please can you wait until I’m back working before contacting me again about work? And then block him for the remainder of your leave. In France his behaviour is illegal’

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 23/10/2025 10:03

If he contacts you again just respond, "Hi Steve. As you know I have been on annual leave since yesterday and am not due to return to work until 3rd November. I sent you the paperwork you asked for yesterday but please do not ask me to do anything else during my annual leave because I have the right not to be disturbed during this time."

And copy in your HR contact.

FamilyPhoto · 23/10/2025 10:08

pinkfondu · 23/10/2025 09:11

Log this now as unreasonable behaviour. And ask when you’ll be getting your holiday back!

This!
I had the same thing from a previous manager - 1st occasion I replied ( it was about a very small paper order that she could have easily delegated/ done herself) I said not an emergency, please don't contact me again.
2nd occasion I emailed HR.

TheSandgroper · 23/10/2025 10:11

wetlettuce41 · 23/10/2025 09:55

I don’t think HR will give me 2 days back for phone calls? It only took me 10 mins or so to send the paperwork through yesterday, not the whole day. But I feel like it’s set my leave off on the wrong foot, I just don’t want to be bothered about work while I’m off. Especially something that isn’t my fault, I sent my paperwork to my previous manager when I should have and she emailed me and said it was on the system and all sorted- I’ve forwarded those emails yesterday.

Your boss expected you to work. On two consecutive days.

Work is not holiday. You had had those days marked as “holiday” and he changed them to “work”. Get those two days back.

If nothing else, HR ought to then be making enquiries about his procedures.

TheSandgroper · 23/10/2025 10:13

And change your username to something with a little more backbone than “wet lettuce”. Talk about shouting what you think of yourself.

Choose something that gives you strength when you see it.

user1491934176 · 23/10/2025 10:25

I would be requesting my leave is reimbursed for that day.

HelplessSoul · 23/10/2025 10:39

Wookiefiend · 23/10/2025 09:58

This is terrible advice. Have you ever seen a grievance followed through to it's conclusion and did that ever end well for the complainant? Sometimes it's necessary, but for this?

Why is it terrible advice?

The OP absolutely has evidence and legitimate reasons to do a grievance.

Just because YOU dont agree doesnt make doing one wrong.

🙄

C152 · 23/10/2025 10:58

I voted YABU because I think it sets unrealistic expectations if you keep answering work calls while on holiday. Is this your personal mobile your boss and colleagues are calling/texting on? If so, and they call/message you again, send one message saying you are on leave and will not be responding to any work messages until you return. Then when you get back, get a cheap second hand phone and give that number to your work, so you can leave it at home next time you go on holiday.

Wookiefiend · 23/10/2025 11:02

HelplessSoul · 23/10/2025 10:39

Why is it terrible advice?

The OP absolutely has evidence and legitimate reasons to do a grievance.

Just because YOU dont agree doesnt make doing one wrong.

🙄

Because the first stage in any grievance policy is to try and resolve things informally, and OP hasn't yet done that, so the grievance would be thrown out anyway.

Because to raise a grievance, you have to be clear what it is you want as an outcome. What is that and why can't it be achieved informally?

Because like it or not, such an action will harm OP far more than it harms her boss.

Of course it's not OK and needs to be resolved but a grievance is not the way to do it.

MiddleAgedDread · 23/10/2025 11:05

if it's a work phone, turn it off
if it's a personal phone, why the hell do they even have your number and just ignore it. if they really need you they'll leave a voicemail and you can choose to call them back at your own convenience.

wetlettuce41 · 23/10/2025 11:05

C152 · 23/10/2025 10:58

I voted YABU because I think it sets unrealistic expectations if you keep answering work calls while on holiday. Is this your personal mobile your boss and colleagues are calling/texting on? If so, and they call/message you again, send one message saying you are on leave and will not be responding to any work messages until you return. Then when you get back, get a cheap second hand phone and give that number to your work, so you can leave it at home next time you go on holiday.

I answered yesterday (well returned the call and messages) because I didn’t know what it was about, and assumed it must be something urgent due to not having been contacted in this way when on leave before… especially having a colleague message me several times stating that my boss had asked I contact him asap as it’s urgent… I have not answered today I’ve ignored, I’ve not opened the message from my colleague but I can see what it says.

OP posts:
wetlettuce41 · 23/10/2025 11:07

MiddleAgedDread · 23/10/2025 11:05

if it's a work phone, turn it off
if it's a personal phone, why the hell do they even have your number and just ignore it. if they really need you they'll leave a voicemail and you can choose to call them back at your own convenience.

I do have a work phone, but these calls and messages are to my personal phone. Only a couple of colleagues have my number and I have theirs. My boss has my personal number too. It’s pretty standard in my organisation as our work phones are so rubbish, never work properly or have signal.

OP posts:
RoseAylingEllisFanClub · 23/10/2025 11:13

You have a disability and this is bullying and harassment.

I strongly recommend talking to ACAS - only when you’re back! enjoy your leave NOW - and getting clued up with your legal rights regarding the Working Time Regulations 1998 and the Equality Act 2010. They will probably recommend copying in your HR in communications with your manager.

I would ignore and when you are back brief HR and/or talk to your union rep to get them to attend and document your next 121 to ensure that (a) it won’t happen again and (b) you get your leave back. Also contact your organisation’s Disability Network if they have one, or ask to speak to a disability rep from the union or similar.

As you have a disability I would also look at unpacking your response thus far. When you have a disability you often work twice as hard to match your peers, because you’re having to use coping strategies, which are in and off themselves quite hard work.

I know, because I’ve been there.

This can go two ways: you become less assertive of your rights because you want to fit in and don’t want to rock the boat or draw attention to your disability for fear of bullying. And managers take advantage of it. I think what he has said to you - as you’ve documented upthread - is a threat that is bullying in itself. And taking advantage of your desire to fit in. You’re not being treated equally and fairly.

Or it can mean you mean you become assertive, set boundaries and point out as a disabled person you arguably need your legally entitled downtime even more to become fully refreshed, and to harass a disabled person while on leave - for minor matters no less - meets the criteria for bullying and specifically would be considered against your protected characteristics as set out in the Equality Act.

If he is indeed male and senior to you then invoke your second protected characteristic as well - sex as well as disability - and suddenly it looks a whole lot more serious.

Never mind the fact that you are not exempted from the Working Time Regulations 1998.

This lays the organisation wide open to a complaint and grievance process on two grounds. Pretty serious.

HR should rightly be horrified. And just stating your entitlement to a complaint on legal grounds to HR will no doubt concentrate minds.

I’ve done it - not quite in the same circumstances - but I pointed out disabled staff were disproportionately affected by a corporate decision. I consulted ACAS, quoted the law and won my case - ie a different decision was taken - without it ever going to grievance. My threat was deadly serious and they knew it. I have always been a diligent and compliant employee and I spoke up not only for myself but others affected with tons of evidence.

Use your work time for all of this. It’s your right. Enjoy your leave and talk to ACAS/HR/union when you’re back or you’ll be doing more work on your leave to make your case.

Log the times and dates so far then forget it till you’re back (which will be easier said than done as it’s going to hang over the rest of your leave, probably). Which you would be reasonable to point out to HR! Park the boss and the organisation for now and just enjoy yourself.

StripyShirt · 23/10/2025 11:14

pinkfondu · 23/10/2025 09:25

Isn’t the public sector hot on bullying and discrimination?

Not sure re discrimination, but bullying can be rife, with departments run as kingdoms.

RoseAylingEllisFanClub · 23/10/2025 11:22

I’ve just seen your work phones are rubbish but that’s a false economy and personal phones should not be used for business. There’s GDPR etc and for your manager to use your personal phone for non-urgent business is harassment - as is roping in colleagues to further pile the pressure on you. I would also look into the mandatory GDPR training your organisation must have.

I’m public sector too BTW.

My manager has my number for emergencies such as the office burning down or a hack. That’s it. That’s all that’s needed. I don’t expect to hear from work unless something very serious has happened. We have rules - no personal phones except in that circumstance, no interaction with colleagues on social media, etc.

I was on sabbatical and we did keep in touch in a light-touch way once a month but that was to enable me to know of any changes or opportunities and the progress of a long-awaited system change while away - so I knew what to expect on my return - and have a bit of a chat. Half an hour once a month was fine.

HelplessSoul · 23/10/2025 11:37

Wookiefiend · 23/10/2025 11:02

Because the first stage in any grievance policy is to try and resolve things informally, and OP hasn't yet done that, so the grievance would be thrown out anyway.

Because to raise a grievance, you have to be clear what it is you want as an outcome. What is that and why can't it be achieved informally?

Because like it or not, such an action will harm OP far more than it harms her boss.

Of course it's not OK and needs to be resolved but a grievance is not the way to do it.

So very wrong.

It will depend on company/employer policies - these are never the same across industries or employers.

Also, you state it will harm the OP - and you know this how?

Your view is prejudicial.

Thats the whole point of a grievance - to determine the outcome.

You have fuck all way of knowing that the OP would come to harm if the OP submits a grievance. You are projecting nothing but your (worthless) opinion - it is not "fact".

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/10/2025 11:40

Yeah I’d just ignore til I was back at work.

8 am isn’t in standard working hours even if you weren’t on leave, albeit it’s part of some people’s flexible working arrangements to work then.

We need to stand firm against this push to make 8 am part of the working day! 9-5.30 is standard and 8 am is no more part of this tan 6.30 pm is.

ickky · 23/10/2025 11:40

wetlettuce41 · 23/10/2025 09:55

I don’t think HR will give me 2 days back for phone calls? It only took me 10 mins or so to send the paperwork through yesterday, not the whole day. But I feel like it’s set my leave off on the wrong foot, I just don’t want to be bothered about work while I’m off. Especially something that isn’t my fault, I sent my paperwork to my previous manager when I should have and she emailed me and said it was on the system and all sorted- I’ve forwarded those emails yesterday.

Well it's ruined your first two days of leave, it's not just the time it takes to ring back and email them. It is also all the time you have no doubt spent ruminating. Not to mention the early time of the call.

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