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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

"I'm old" - I bet you aren't

128 replies

AndreaMarvell · 23/10/2025 01:59

So many times I see people write this, and I bet that they are no more than 65.

OP posts:
Glowingup · 23/10/2025 07:59

TeenToTwenties · 23/10/2025 06:32

Old as the opposite of young = 50+ or maybe even 45+.

Old in the context of child, young adult, adult, middle aged, mature, older, elderly = 60-80

Would you call a 45 year old an old person? Surely that’s why we have the term middle age to cover the large gap between old and young. I wouldn’t call anyone over 30 a “young person”. Yes of course they are young in a relative sense but they aren’t youths. Probably not officially middle aged but I wouldn’t say “young people” because I take that to mean under 25. And I’d probably use the term old for anyone over 70 or 75.

BadgernTheGarden · 23/10/2025 08:03

HappiestSleeping · 23/10/2025 06:30

When you were 50, did you feel like you were 20? 😉

Probably acted like I was 20.🙃

CryMyEyesViolet · 23/10/2025 08:07

Well it’s not long since 65 was a pensioner, also referred to as old age pensioner so I think it’s unfair to say 60-65 isn’t old when in our living memory that age bracket would have been an OAP.

And it’s all relative. 50 is old if you’re talking about having a baby or your first marriage. It’s young if you’re talking about a dementia diagnosis. I often say I’m getting old now my eyesight is starting to decline, my back hurts if a lay I certain way in bed, because my eyes are starting to wrinkle and I can’t stay out late and bounce back the next morning like I could in my teens and 20s.

And as a 30 something if I was describing a 65 year old I would be likely to use the adjective old. I’m sure I’ll feel different when I’m 65… the same way my toddler niece would call me old but one of my school friends wouldn’t think that at all.

FuzzyPuffling · 23/10/2025 08:08

I'm the exact age that someone on MN recently described as " elderly ".

I don't necessarily agree with them, but there we are.

HelpMeGetThrough · 23/10/2025 08:09

According to my youngest when he was 8 (he’s now 18) I was old, as I was born in the “olden days”.

I must be ancient now.

Loopylalalou · 23/10/2025 08:16

Age becomes a mindset. I’m 67 and retired but through volunteering I’m generally busier now than when I worked full time - and because I’m making my own choice about where to give my time and what to do, feel much more alive. I have arthritis but it doesn’t stop me doing anything I want to do. As my highly independent nearly 90 year old mother says, just keep on doing by keeping busy.

HelpMeGetThrough · 23/10/2025 08:23

I’d have thought my dad would be classed as old at coming up 88. He’s got a dodgy heart having had a valve repaired, 5 stents and a pacemaker fitted a few months ago.

He was out painting the fence a couple of weeks ago and then did the shed. Not long before that, he was moving and re-plumbing one of their radiators. I reckon he’s a robot.

Mother is 81 and wallpapering at the moment.

TattooStan · 23/10/2025 08:33

I feel so youthful at 41, but often joke at work "I'm old, what do I know", because I'd hate the youngsters I work with to think I'm trying to be down with the kids!

Anne004 · 23/10/2025 08:40

I'm 50 and sometimes feel old and sometimes feel very young. Depends on the day, what I'm doing and who I'm talking to!

TheBewleySisters · 23/10/2025 08:44

I was getting an annual checkup at the GP surgery, and asked the nurse a question about my blood pressure result, and she said something like
“Well, we find that in elderly people …”, and it took me a moment to realise she was talking about me! I said to her “hang on, are you saying I’m in the ‘elderly’ category?” It had never occurred to me until that moment that I had passed from middle-aged to elderly. I am 70. I still ride my motorcycle and my classic Mustang, still wear my biker boots, have my hair shaved at the sides with a big quiff at the front, and go to gigs, stay up late, but maybe I’m making a fool of myself and should be in a shawl and slippers in my rocking chair. Damn! I got old!

AsAliveAsYouNeedMeToBe · 23/10/2025 08:44

Over 60 IS old.

Timeforabitofpeace · 23/10/2025 08:47

@AsAliveAsYouNeedMeToBehas just proved that some people think so!

Timeforabitofpeace · 23/10/2025 08:48

Certainly there’s plenty of ageism.

RedRiverShore5 · 23/10/2025 08:48

I have my state pension so am quite old.

cramptramp · 23/10/2025 08:49

65 is old. It’s not middle aged. And I say that as an old person.

thecatneuterer · 23/10/2025 08:50

But surely 60s do count as old? I mean it's no longer middle aged is it? What grates on me is when I hear/see people in their 60s described as elderly.

springintoaction2 · 23/10/2025 08:50

@TheBewleySisters love your username! And your attitude. Grin

If I had enough hair I might try that - please 'keep making a fool of yourself'

@AsAliveAsYouNeedMeToBe yeah - we know. Like don't keep rubbing it in though.

I'm 61 and have retired from my main job in NHS, but now work 3 days in a supermarket. Some days I enjoy it, but sometimes (like yesterday) it was a fucking struggle as I have rheumatoid arthritis and was pretending I could walk about just fine [NOT] However not ready to stop work completely so onwards and upwards.

Lottapianos · 23/10/2025 08:52

Thepeopleversuswork · 23/10/2025 06:39

Yeah it really irritates me when people say “I’m old”. Usually they are 29 and moaning about being too old or to find a man or some such nonsense.

Or asking whether it's ok to wear trainers or whatever at the ancient age of 32 🙄

Madness

roseclouds · 23/10/2025 08:55

Interesting- I guess I'd consider 65 as old. But people saying "I'm old" in their early 40s is a bit baffling to me- what does that make people in their 60s then- the crypt keeper? I feel like if you call yourself old when you are in fact middle aged its sort of insulting to people older than you

RedRiverShore5 · 23/10/2025 08:55

Old is probably over about 60, elderly is about 80+, though the NHS seems to class you as elderly at 65

PrissyGalore · 23/10/2025 09:05

I’m 63 and sometimes say it when either I want to demonstrate I’ve had plenty of experience or when the culture has changed so much I feel out of time. and objectively-I am old-probably in the last 25% of my life. I feel fit and healthy now but am a realist. What really pisses me off is ‘midlife’. You see it in articles all the time when they are talking about 60 year olds. 40 is midlife. 60 isn’t.

SprayWhiteDung · 23/10/2025 09:08

FuzzyPuffling · 23/10/2025 08:08

I'm the exact age that someone on MN recently described as " elderly ".

I don't necessarily agree with them, but there we are.

Edited

I've also found on MN that people automatically ascribe being very old to anybody who is a grandparent - or even to a parent of a fellow MNer who starts a thread about them, with the assumption of the age demographic of all MNers.

They are instantly painted as being frail, frightened to go out of the house, facing their twilight years with uncertainty - with death virtually guaranteed in the next six months - and almost certainly experiencing the onset of dementia, of course.

Then OP updates and it turns out that these doddery, shuffling parents are 52!

I know somebody who's a grandmother at 39 - she isn't sitting in her rocking chair all day with a pipe and slippers, listening to Daniel O'Donnell and sucking on Werther's originals!!

herbalteabag · 23/10/2025 09:13

It's all relative - I don't feel physically old (I'm only early 50s) but I feel too old to go out clubbing with the young people at work because I would feel out of place and can no longer drink as much as them, plus they're crazy when drunk.
I sometimes feel young, but my kids make me feel old because when doing physical activities I can't keep up with them. Also, I don't always understand what they're on about. When I'm with my parents I feel young though.

Member984815 · 23/10/2025 09:22

WoahWoahandThriceWoah · 23/10/2025 06:07

So?
Old compared to who? My kids think I'm old.
I'm 42, I feel old. I have health issues impacting the quality of my life and tbh if someone said I could sit in an armchair covered with a blanket and watch Midsomer Murders all day I would be thrilled!
On the opposite end of the scale there will be women who have just had their first baby at my age, I assume they will feel more youthful than me or they wouldn't have committed the next 20 years of their lives to raising that baby 🤷‍♀️

Same , and I see school friends with young kids and wonder how they have the energy. My kids are teens and adults now . I'm glad I had them young because my health has taken a dive in the last 10 years and I just feel my age now .

GarlicPound · 23/10/2025 09:24

RedRiverShore5 · 23/10/2025 08:55

Old is probably over about 60, elderly is about 80+, though the NHS seems to class you as elderly at 65

They do, because health outcomes fall off a cliff starting age 65. The term 'elderly' holds no fear for me, though, since the NHS called me an elderly prima gravida at 36. I got that shock over with early!

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