How to tell DH I don’t like flowers

[otherlineeyes]

DH has bought me some flowers as a thank you/apology. Not a big drama, he didn’t acknowledge or appreciate me going above and beyond for a few weeks. I hoped he’d then lean in, I got a bit cross, mostly at having to spell it out to him. He has now been doing more, but now only after meeting his mum and sister today (a week later) did he surprise me with a bunch of flowers.
I know I sound ungrateful, but tbh I am!

1-He was obviously told by them that he needed to make it up to me, again didn’t notice.

2- they are really ugly flowers! He in recent years has got me and his mum for Mother’s Day a bunch from the same local shop around the corner and they are ugly, garish, imported strange flowers.
I prefer plants, don’t like the environmental and human cost of flower farming, and prefer the look of a posy of garden flowers. I would actually prefer the money spent on the flowers to buy myself something I like like a top or nice face cream or a lunch out or anything instead of these ugly flowers.

I am here to have a moan, but also ask for any advice on how to let him know to not get them for me again without sounding ungrateful. Or Aibu and Ishould just suck it up and be glad of the gesture?

It’s possible to hate a bunch of flowers as a gift, but still like flowers.
I hate being given cut flowers. They die. Drop petals, and if lilies, pollen.
Give me a plant for the garden, that will fulfil its lifespan and be better value for money, too.

Fair enough. I do love them though.

My ex used to bring home flowers, periodically..and on my birthday. I told him to stop wasting his money on cut flowers. That I didn’t appreciate them and I’d rather have a shrub for his garden, or nothing.

It’s just a symbol of his apology.
At least he recognises his error and has apologised, that’s the main thing if he now makes the necessary changes.

It would be weird to hand over a face cream of your preference as a token of an apology, I think. But you could say you prefer a plant, instead of flowers. That feels ok. Or a box of chocolates / biscuits.

I get frustrated with these kinds of posts because men are fundamentally different to us. After 12 years I've learnt that if I want something I have to use my words. He doesn't have a crystal ball. At the end of the day he is just a man. Women are infinitely superior as we all know. Our girlfriends, sisters, mums will always buy us better gifts because they are women too. My relationship is a lot better now I'm not expecting him to read my mind.

Wait til they start to die and say, aw it’s a shame they don’t last, maybe get me a pot plant next time!

I told my husband I don’t like flowers, now he buys me Lego flowers instead. It’s a win win…. I get to watch what I want on TV whilst he builds them for me and they don’t die!

downside, we now have Lego everywhere!
(it’s progressed from flowers to cars and postcards and anything else my husband or son fancy building - neurodiverse household!)

Please, please, please nip it in the bud. Pun intended 😂 my exH and I lived in different countries so he sent me flowers all the time. Initially I said there’s really no need, they’re lovely but no more etc. it fell on deaf ears. It went on for years and I really do not like cut flowers. I appreciate the artistry in arrangements - I had a lot - but I prefer flowers growing in the ground rather than dying on my table. I eventually told him and it was awful. I explained that I just didn’t want to hurt his feelings and it was so difficult to say anything once he’d sent so many 🤦🏼‍♀️ Tell him quick!

I don't hate flowers but I don't really appreciate them. I LOVE growing plants and would really like a plant that would live as a gift. Cut flowers seem a bit sad to me. I would not complain about receiving them obviously but I make a point of saying I prefer plants in company.

I don't like men giving me flowers because, iny experience, it's usually a sign that they're up to no good. Flowers growing are lovely but bunches of flowers are, somehow, seedy.

“Thank you for the flowers, I appreciate the thought. Just for future reference when you want to get something nice for me, I’d really prefer x, y or z. But these are lovely this time.”

Pretty easy to hate cut flowers. What's nice about flying, shipping or driving cut flowers thousands of miles then wrapping them in plastic?

You need to just tell him.

My mum is like you, she hates flowers and thinks they’re a waste of money.

I love them, probably for the exact opposite reason. They’re a totally indulgent gift that has no purpose other than make me smile when I look at them. And I never fail to smile when I have flowers!

I love flowers. In gardens.

I hate cut flowers.

When they die next week and your throwing them out can you do it in front of him and say something like “flowers never last long enough it seems such a waste, a plant would be better next time at least it lives longer”

I’m exactly the same. One of the reasons I love them is because they’re ephemeral. My bloke buys me a bunch every week and they make me so happy.

I like flowers

But what would irk me is that he couldnt think for himself and only bought them after being told by his mum and sister

Thats ick inducing!

I adore being given flowers, even supermarket ones from a local shop!

i told my DH I hate carnations but it doesn’t stop him - he buys garish, cheap flowers often with the yellow sticker still on them. I don’t get it, he means well (they are never apology bunches) I buy lovely natural flowers - £1 daffs for example are much nicer. I sympathise OP

I hate cut flowers. Just tell him.

Thank you for the flowers. I really appreciate the thought. I'd really love a houesplant/ gift voucher for xyz, next time you want to treat me. I'm not really a fan of cut flowers.

I told my H that cut flowers make me sad because they are dying rather than loving. Every time I look at them I think about them degrading. He got it.

Ecologically awful, agreed but native flowers are beautiful.

I get it op but does he buy you these because there easy to pick up. I feel flowers are a waste when you could get a top or something you like but if he’s only spending a fiver does it matter. I make it clear to most people I think flowers are a waste of money but appreciate if people enjoy them I would get them. I’m just very practical flowers die within the week but most people presume all women like flowers chocolates or wine!

I am not usually a fan of lying but I think in this situation I would say I had read something about the environmental impact of flowers and think it would be good to stop buying them - but plants would be ok.

I think it was Oscar Wilde who, when a visitor pointed out he did not have any flowers in his home and asked if he did not like them, who said "Madam, I also like children, but I do not cut their heads off and display them about my home".

May not be quoting exactly right, but the sentiment makes me smile (although I do like flowers).

I don’t like flowers either and just see them as extra work. DH has always known this and that I would rather nothing!

Fil always buys me flowers when he visits. DH must have told him I’m not a fan so the. Next time he visited he bought an extra big bunch and said ‘I know you don’t like flowers but I was always told to give the lady of the house flowers so here they are’. 🙄