5 days in office with higher pay or hybrid with more family time?

[itsmehere1]

Posting here for traffic.

I’d love some honest perspective from other working mums who’ve been here.

My office went back to 5 days RTO start of this year. Honestly, it has been tough for me. I just have no energy left by Wednesday with an 70 mins commute each way. Positives include on track for career progression (working towards promotion but not guaranteed), fairly manageable workload as have been in the role for 4 years now, but few months could have long days and always require a demanding pace.

I’ve been offered a similar role with 3 days in the office and 2 WFH. The pay is lower and there’s less clarity about progression, but it seems to offer better flexibility on paper. The commute would be about the same. My only concern is whether it could eventually shift to a full-time office setup and that’s pretty common in my industry (finance). The interviewers seemed relaxed though, and when I asked, they said several people work core hours and use flex time for school pickups on WFH days, which sounded like a big positive to me. Still, that flexibility won’t mean much if it turns into 5 days a week later on!

To add I have a 5-year-old, and my top priority right now is to be mentally and emotionally available for her, not just physically around but too drained to connect.

Financially, both are fine, the difference is about £20k take-home a year. I’m torn between building my career momentum and protecting the balance that keeps me sane and present for my daughter.

If you’ve made a similar choice, how did it play out for you? Did flexibility truly make family life better, or did you find the slower career growth frustrating later on?

Any perspective from other mums juggling similar trade-offs would mean a lot 💛

Not for 20k OP. I’d focus on getting promotion asap then cutting hours or finding a more flexible role

20k off 150k? Or 20k off 60k. Huge difference!

Hybrid!

Depends how much you need the money and what difference it will make to your quality of life....also how ambitious you are

For me, I'd choose the job which allows you to WFH

Hybrid

Not exactly but close to the former!

Then hybrid.

I had this choice at the beginning of the year - 7k difference, I chose hybrid, best decision I ever made

ETA - my employer is also very flexible, so that helps too.

Hybrid.

So the options are stay where you are with the salary you earn, and clear career progression, but not much energy for time with your child,
or,
a reduction in net income per month of >£1600, a similar commute on three days, but two days WFH, no guarantee that you won't ever be asked to do five days in the office, and no clear career progression path.
I'd say stick with your current job and look for ways of making it work better for you.
You could request flexible working to WFH on a day or two a week (don't assume they'll say no), cut other activities out that may be sapping your time and energy, move closer to work, request to go part time to perhaps four days (as you're prepared to take a pay cut), outsource things such as cleaning.

Hybrid every time. Commuting is hell and I’d never go back to that every day.

Hybrid and I would run the reduced salary through a calculator for the actual take home pay comparison.

This isn't forever and carved in stone. At any point you can assess and look at your options. For now the hybrid set up would be better for you at the moment with your child's school runs. Take it.

Hybrid unless you think you can very quickly jump ship from the higher paying role into somewhere that offers hybrid and level pay.

if you work in an office 5 days a week you are just going to be miserable and knackered and ignoring what you have stated is your priority right now - your five year old. Also, you aren’t losing £20 grand - by the time you factor in childcare to cover your commute, travel costs, food and office wear it’s probably half that.

Hybrid if it’s over £100k anyway!

Hybrid.

I know MN doesn’t like this, but I didn’t go through hell and high water bringing DD into the world to then spend much of her brief childhood not with her.

I was briefly (for about a year) full time but got that changed to 4 days in the office and then Covid hit and Im now 4 days a week, 50/50. And my commute is under an hour.

Neither, I'd keep looking for something with a shorter commute!

Any chance you can move closer? Or better/ shorter commute time area?
I wouldn’t risk going hybrid as companies are moving back to working in office. Also there’s only so much of a window to advance your career. The way I read it, the hybrid company is a bit wooly and I wouldn’t risk it

Will that cut change your tax bracket? That may make the drop difference less extreme?

if you then deduct your commuting costs for 2 days a week and any childcare you save it may well not become so much as a financial hit but more of a quality time gain iyswim?

Hybrid.

I can’t believe some of the salaries that get thrown around mumsnet. Clearly I’ve gone wrong somewhere in life - on £50k in a senior management role, high workload, little progression.

Would the contract specify just the two days in the office?

Keep your job and move closer to work? Hybrid can be changed at any time, so you could end up 20k down plus full time in the office. If you're not bothered about losing 20k a year though (!), and even a short time of hybrid would be appealing, go for that. Your employer might counter offer some flexibility?

I’d stay in your current job and reduce down to four days.

Hybrid if you are confident it will not change to more time in the office.

Are the 2 jobs the same number of contracted hours?