5 days in office with higher pay or hybrid with more family time?

[itsmehere1]

Posting here for traffic.

I’d love some honest perspective from other working mums who’ve been here.

My office went back to 5 days RTO start of this year. Honestly, it has been tough for me. I just have no energy left by Wednesday with an 70 mins commute each way. Positives include on track for career progression (working towards promotion but not guaranteed), fairly manageable workload as have been in the role for 4 years now, but few months could have long days and always require a demanding pace.

I’ve been offered a similar role with 3 days in the office and 2 WFH. The pay is lower and there’s less clarity about progression, but it seems to offer better flexibility on paper. The commute would be about the same. My only concern is whether it could eventually shift to a full-time office setup and that’s pretty common in my industry (finance). The interviewers seemed relaxed though, and when I asked, they said several people work core hours and use flex time for school pickups on WFH days, which sounded like a big positive to me. Still, that flexibility won’t mean much if it turns into 5 days a week later on!

To add I have a 5-year-old, and my top priority right now is to be mentally and emotionally available for her, not just physically around but too drained to connect.

Financially, both are fine, the difference is about £20k take-home a year. I’m torn between building my career momentum and protecting the balance that keeps me sane and present for my daughter.

If you’ve made a similar choice, how did it play out for you? Did flexibility truly make family life better, or did you find the slower career growth frustrating later on?

Any perspective from other mums juggling similar trade-offs would mean a lot 💛

Keep looking and negotiate a hybrid contract on your current salary. Never compromise if you're in demand.

Hybrid. With the tax situation and two days of train fare saved a week, I don’t think it’ll make too
much difference net. My days working from home I treasure as I have time to do fun things with the children before and after nursery. My working in London days feel a real rush in both the mornings and evenings, and I hate missing out on that time.

Id gladly take another pay cut to get another day a week working from home

Hybrid every time. Money doesn’t mean as much when you are exhausted, not there for dc and worrying about how to make a dr appointment you can get to in time.

Hybrid. Nearly eight years ago I went three days a week and 9-5 only, far less stress for a 40k pay cut! I'd had had a mental breakdown staying in my previous job, plus my dad was unwell and I was helping my mum look after him as well as having younger kids. I'd wanted three days a week for some time but no roles like that were available.

I went full time in the same job a few years later with a written agreement than I would never have to spend more than three days in the office. Now I earn 60k more than eight years ago.

Hybrid. I do 3 office and 2 WFH and reckon I save another 1.5 hrs on the WFH days working in my PJs. Get the washing done. Work an earlier shift and get the shop done. It balances my week.
With a small child hybrid is even more worth it.

My situation was a little more extreme than yours - fully WFH job with a very light workload on around 100K year. Moved for 180K to a more stressful job with travel (4-6 long weeks long haul a year), much more clear career prospects. 4 days a week in office. Commute is short (25 mins). I've been doing it for 6 months and it's.. fine. But it's not great. I am actively trying to go back. I'm not quite at the point where I would take my old job back, but I am close. I likely will after I get my very large bonus in April. 3 was manageable but not great, 4 has pushed me over the edge. I also have a young primary age child and I want to be present to support her.