DD following adult from work placement on socials

[Sandiey]

Hi all, my DD is not long turned 15, she’s in Y10. Recently my husband helped to organise her work placement at a fairly large and well known organisation. My husband arranged it through one of his colleagues who’s partner worked at the place DD wanted to do her work placement.

DD had a really great week, it was a really good work placement for her, she was introduced to the role well and we can’t fault them for the care they provided her with. DD came back beaming every day and I don’t know the last time I seen her so happy!

DD has instagram and TikTok, we monitor these regularly and I know some will argue she shouldn’t have them at all. Her accounts are private we don’t random spot checks on her following/followers. Her school are very strict about use in school and we take her phone at 8pm so she can begin to wind down. Anyway today I had a check of her instagram, I noticed she was following and being followed by an adult, I asked DD who she was and DD told me she was one of the women from her work placement. I then had a look and DD has been liking all this woman’s posts, sometimes commenting and sometimes replying to stories she posts.

Now I know that this woman isn’t technically a teacher but I feel really uncomfortable with DD having her on instagram! I also noticed the woman has so many followers (over 20k) which made me feel a bit off as from what I can tell she’s not an influencer or similar. I personally feel letting a 15 year old follow your account is irresponsible and unprofessional. I’m unsure on if I should just have DD block the account or if there is someone I need to report this to?

AIBU to be concerned by this?

I wouldn't be concerned.

I think if this woman has got 20k of followers then she probably doesn't closely check who has started following her.

She probably doesn’t have a clue.

if she has 20k followers it’s clear she’s trying to be an influencer.

That’s not what her instagram looked like to me. All of the posts were pretty normal and what you’d expect from a normal person using their socials. She may have historically been trying to be an influence but it doesn’t appear so now; also she followed DD back so definitely knows DD is following her!

What’s the harm ? Is she posted harmful content?

Also with 20k followers I’m assuming by her content is of some general or specific interest and your daughter isn’t just commenting on.. bikini pictures? Or whatever else you might feel would be inappropriate?

What other adults is she not allowed to follow? Just those in personal contact or celebrities and interest accounts too?

Out of curiosity, what specifically is this woman posting about to her 20k followers. Is there any kind of theme or just her life?

What is your concern?

What's the big deal?

Because presumably her thought process is that DD liked the role wants to do it as a career and insta is a way of communicating any help without it being too private (given she has 20k followers)

I really wouldn’t worry about it op aslong as the content is appropriate. You can’t shield your teens from everything and you need to allow them to make their own choices and learn their own lessons however in this case you are hugely over thinking it.

No theme by the seems of it, each post starts with a very posed solo image of the woman then is followed by random things, cats, vinyl records, wine glasses, blurry pictures etc.
I haven’t seen any bikini pics but I didn’t scroll particularly far.

Yabu, report her because your dd follows her? That would be ridiculous, she’s not a teacher and she’s helped dd massively by providing the placement.
if you want to have rules about her not following adults that’s on you, not this person, she’s not being unprofessional, your dd could be a colleague of someone in a year or so (apprentice) or Saturday job, just give some guidelines of how to be professional online and what she posts if she’s going to follow people who she works with.

I’d agree that with 20,000 followers I doubt she’s checking very hard who her followers are. I’d possibly be a bit concerned if she and DD were carrying on a private DM conversation (although would also depend on what the conversation was about) but public following of a woman posting trivia about her cats and her music taste, not really.

Crikey you sound overbearing tbh op. It’s not a county lines gang she’s involved with, it’s a professional woman whom your dd obviously felt som admiration for if she followed her. If my kids were going to be influenced by anyone I’d rather it was someone like her. What’s your concern?

What is the issue exactly?

Sorry am i missing something? What exactly is your concern here?

Your DD went on a work placement with this person. This adult has an insta account with 20k followers.

she’s treating your DD as an adult, which in the workplace is the general idea.

seriously struggling to see what this woman has done wrong.

your DD followed her, she’s just followed back.

I run an insta account for my local brass band and I always follow back anyone who follows us.

I what way is it irresponsible? Honestly you do sound rather bonkers on this one. I understand internet safety is an issue but you need to unclench on this.

Would it be an issue if it were a LinkedIn account?

I encouraged my daughter to set one up, she was probably a little older than yoru daughter at the time as she was looking at more corporate type work where it would be expected, ie following companies and likeing posts from specific companies etc

You’re being stiflingly overprotective here, OP. Your daughter is simply networking with people who work in an industry she hopes to work in herself in the future - she will have been encouraged by her school to use her placement to forge meaningful connections, and to maintain these so she can ask for advice or even a reference in the future.

You will seriously embarrass your daughter if you try to do anything about this, potentially even harming her professional prospects if it’s a small industry - everyone will know she was the work experience girl whose mother made ridiculous accusations about one of their peers.

What on earth! You can’t be serious!?
I wouldn’t be the slightest bit concerned by this, in fact, it could be a positive thing for when your DD wants to go into employment.

Whats the difference between her following this adult woman than say Adele or Harry Styles? I presume she follows adult celebrities also?

She met a woman on a work placement and keeps in touch a bit on social media. What do you think is wrong with this woman? I remember being 14 or 15 and for the first time a woman I met actually treated me like a person not a child. It was fantastic, absolutely nothing funny about it and boosted my self confidence no end. Meeting people in the work place for the first time is a really growing up experience. We are so suspicious these days.

Entirely normal, I would have thought, particularly with the number of followers she has.

What on earth are you concerned about?!