DD following adult from work placement on socials

[Sandiey]

Hi all, my DD is not long turned 15, she’s in Y10. Recently my husband helped to organise her work placement at a fairly large and well known organisation. My husband arranged it through one of his colleagues who’s partner worked at the place DD wanted to do her work placement.

DD had a really great week, it was a really good work placement for her, she was introduced to the role well and we can’t fault them for the care they provided her with. DD came back beaming every day and I don’t know the last time I seen her so happy!

DD has instagram and TikTok, we monitor these regularly and I know some will argue she shouldn’t have them at all. Her accounts are private we don’t random spot checks on her following/followers. Her school are very strict about use in school and we take her phone at 8pm so she can begin to wind down. Anyway today I had a check of her instagram, I noticed she was following and being followed by an adult, I asked DD who she was and DD told me she was one of the women from her work placement. I then had a look and DD has been liking all this woman’s posts, sometimes commenting and sometimes replying to stories she posts.

Now I know that this woman isn’t technically a teacher but I feel really uncomfortable with DD having her on instagram! I also noticed the woman has so many followers (over 20k) which made me feel a bit off as from what I can tell she’s not an influencer or similar. I personally feel letting a 15 year old follow your account is irresponsible and unprofessional. I’m unsure on if I should just have DD block the account or if there is someone I need to report this to?

AIBU to be concerned by this?

I am struggling to see what the issue is here

What exactly would you report her for? As others have said, if you want to have a no adult rule then do so, but to imply this women has malicious intentions or is responsible for your kid's online activity is ridiculous.

I think you're way over the top here - your DD is 15, following someone who has generic (from what you say) content on insta, with 20k followers. It's not like it's "modelling" or just a few people so she unduly influence her. Also, why on earth think of reporting her? Surely by stirring up trouble you could wreck DD's chances if she wanted to work there eventually? No one wants the kid with "that parent!" I think you need to calm down and let your DD grow up a bit, and now pursue things unless you can state the actual risk.

You sound extremely overbearing. Your daughter sounds mature and responsible yet you are controlling her with an iron fist with spot checks, phone confiscation, policing of her accounts yet she has given you NO signs that she is doing anything irresponsible.

You're being absurd. Your daughter is following someone - someone she knows - on social media. That is normal. My friend's teenage daughter and I follow each other on Instagram.

Your daughter was on a work placement. This is a person she worked with for a week or two, not someone who holds any actual authority over her or a teacher or someone she can't be friendly with.

Plenty of 15- and 16-year-olds have Saturday jobs and work with adults. Would you expect them not to follow their colleagues on social media either, simply because their colleagues are grown-ups?!

Now I know that this woman isn’t technically a teacher

What do you mean "not technically" a teacher? She's not a teacher at all is she if she works for this company? Why are you likening her to doing a job that she doesn't do and suggest that she should abide by principles that she is not bound by? She has done nothing wrong by accepting your DD as a follower or following her back.

Surely it's the start of her networking into a potential career? They aren't exchanging sexual messages or pics are they?

It's because she admires her professionally. You shouldn't think about it in terms of what a teacher should do. This is a workplace not a school.

I cannot believe you are considering reporting this. I imagine they got on well when your daughter was there ans if it is an industry your daughter is interested in, she could be a useful contact.

Your daughter is getting older. With the amount you're checking up on her there's no chance of anything inappropriate happening.

Following, being followed, liking inane posts and cringey staged photos is what Instagram is all about. I think it's stupid but if you allow her to use it, this is exactly what you are signing up for.

Can’t understand what the issue is? Your daughter followed someone she met through a work placement - not a teacher - and the person followed her back, unless you are going to drip feed us in your next update that there are inappropriate messages between the woman and your u16 year old I think yabu.

I agree that u16’s should be monitored on social media but you are on a very slippery slope where your daughter might start hiding things because you over react like this.

And what exactly makes you uncomfortable about that? If she was promoting unhealthy body image, drugs or other potentially harmful content then I'd take you point. But cats and vinyl records, really?!

I'd be fairly surprised if this women even realises your daughter follows her. With 20000 followers i doubt there is screening individually of new followers.

Daughters trying to create a network to support her future career it’s a positive thing if this lady remembers her she may be interviewing her for this role in 5 years. I don’t personally feel it’s inappropriate. I understand it’s hard kids growing up but yours could be leaving for uni in 3 years and needs to gain independence which includes creating links in workplaces and clubs and places you may not personally know.

Report her to who? And for what? Nobody is doing anything wrong here. Not her and not your daughter.

I would not be concerned, unless there is something else at play. I would be keen for DD to maintain some contact so if any opportunities came up she could potentially make use of the contact. On occasion I have supported friends kids with placements. I would be well pissed off if one of them followed me on Linkedin (some have done this perfectly properly), and one of their parents reported me to my boss like some sort of paedo.

I’m unsure on if I should just have DD block the account or if there is someone I need to report this to?

What on earth are you on about?!

Your DD is 15 and is allowed on social media so she can follow whoever the hell she wants!

And who would you "report" it to?! Whilst you're at it you may want to "report" Harry Styles, BTS, Sabrina Carpenter, Taylor Swift. They all have massive underage followings. And kids far younger than your DD too.

You sound unhinged.

My DD would have been outraged if I monitored her insta at age 15

You really have not put across what you are actually concerned about! I think you are totally overreacting and teenagers follow all and everything, fine you are checking but I am sure there are far more worrying content out there. Maybe they just got on great at the work experience and your daughter admire this working woman? Surely she did work experience there as she may want to work for a similar organisation

Sounds fine and normal. If she had a weekend job at the pub wiping tables, would you be freaked out she’s following Hannah, 19, who does the dishes?

I think if previous posters are asking you what's the harm (and I agree, the posts you describe seem harmless) your daughters not going to understand your reasoning either. Unless you can validate your concerns, I think you should let this one go. I personally see no harm in a 15yr old following a career woman in a field she's interested in.

It will be very embarrassing for your husband if you attempt to report this OP. I agree with the previous posters, you sound overbearing.

Like others I don’t see the issue.

You are overreacting over something that shouldn’t even be reacted to.

I’m not sure why you think it’s off or who you’d report to.
Your daughter is interested in a career. She goes on a work placement has a nice time and chats to this woman. Presumably instagram mentioned in office chit chat. Your dc follows her. There’s nothing iffy at all about woman’s content. Surely it’s good your dc is keeping in touch, woman may be able to help if she wants another placement or advice on course to take etc.
I’m middle aged and got 15,000 followers on instagram, definitely not an influencer, doesn’t make me iffy.

Sounds perfectly innocent to me. No one has done anything untoward. It’s insta not onlyfans. I’d let it go.

Maybe this woman was nice to her and your dd looked up to her. Have you asked her why she’s following her is there any particular reason some people just say hey do you use instagram follow me if you want.