Page 2 | To go on a day out tomorrow and not tell anyone?

OhNoLostMyKeysAgain · 21/10/2025 18:52

I would be really upset if DH lied to me and did something like this.

Letsskidaddle · 21/10/2025 18:55

You could always suggest to DH that he books a day off to have some time to himself, and you’ll do the drop off/pick up so he can go off and enjoy himself.

When he says that sounds a lovely idea, you can tell him you’re glad because you’re having your turn tomorrow! Then you’ve not lied and still get the whole day 😁

If he says he doesn’t want to do that, you can tell him it would really do wonders for your mental health and you’re going to do it tomorrow 😁

ZoggyStirdust · 21/10/2025 18:57

You’ll get overwhelming support for doing this but a husband doing it would be slated.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 21/10/2025 18:58

takeadaytomyself2025 · 21/10/2025 18:14

I have a day off tomorrow that was unexpected news today. Everything is in place tomorrow for me working. Childcare and dh leaving work so he can pick up the kids from school. If I tell dh I what is basically a free day off tomorrow. He will rightly say no breakfast club ( to save money as we pay per day ) and he can stay at work instead of finishing off at home. I know that is fair enough but I never get a day to myself. I want go on train tomorrow to my favourite place and walk about, eat lunch in my favourite cafe and enjoy myself with no rush or children at my feet. Time just for me.
Its something that will do me good but I dont know if I can as I do feel guilty 😕

I do this every year just before Christmas. Book a day off, and then leave for "work" at the normal time. I go for a long walk in the morning, find somewhere for a cooked breakfast. Then hit a bookshop and buy a good book. Then my afternoon is spent in the pub reading my book getting a bit tipsy. When I get home it's because " we had a few Christmas beers in the office"

DP cottoned on years ago, but she doesn't know what day I'm going to do it still and it's become a bit of an in joke. As an introvert it's just my way to recharge before having to be "on" all Christmas

ChewyMints · 21/10/2025 19:00

You should do it. You should tell your DH.

There should be space in your relationship to accommodate this.

TheDenimPoet · 21/10/2025 19:17

I would tell him what's happening, tell him you need it, and double check he's okay with it. If he says he's not, that says a lot. But I wouldn't lie to him. Just say you've suddenly got an unexpected day off, and you'd like to go on a solo day out.

landlordhell · 21/10/2025 19:19

Not nice to lie to your DH about where you’re going. What if something g happened and you can’t get back or get hurt etc. Very shady.

landlordhell · 21/10/2025 19:20

ZoggyStirdust · 21/10/2025 18:57

You’ll get overwhelming support for doing this but a husband doing it would be slated.

Exactly. And accused of cheating.

FlockofSquirrels · 21/10/2025 19:21

You shouldn't need to lie to do this.
You shouldn't need to lie to do this.
You shouldn't need to lie to do this.

I think it's entirely possible that you're in a situation where that is the best of the bad options in front of you right now and I won't shame you for doing it. But please know that this is not a sign of a healthy partnership or two people who communicate and treat each other with respect and care. Do some reflecting on whether you actually could tell your DH what you need and stand up for yourself but are instead tempted to be incredibly avoidant or if telling him genuinely isn't a viable option. If it's the latter then take your day off, but that means it's time to think about future plans.

AutumnCosy2025 · 21/10/2025 19:30

FlockofSquirrels · 21/10/2025 19:21

You shouldn't need to lie to do this.
You shouldn't need to lie to do this.
You shouldn't need to lie to do this.

I think it's entirely possible that you're in a situation where that is the best of the bad options in front of you right now and I won't shame you for doing it. But please know that this is not a sign of a healthy partnership or two people who communicate and treat each other with respect and care. Do some reflecting on whether you actually could tell your DH what you need and stand up for yourself but are instead tempted to be incredibly avoidant or if telling him genuinely isn't a viable option. If it's the latter then take your day off, but that means it's time to think about future plans.

This! Thanks for saving me the effort of typing it 😊

@takeadaytomyself2025 you need to sort things out.

FUCK being in a relationship where 'He will say no to breakfast club' .

i wouldn't lie about it, but I wouldn't be in a relationship where I felt I needed to.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 21/10/2025 19:36

I think you should do it but tell your DH. As in, I've got an unexpected day off tomorrow and I'm going to...
He's not the boss, he should be happy for you.

dunroamingfornow · 21/10/2025 19:37

Do it! You just inspired me to take myself for lunch tomorrow before the madness of half term ! Mum guilt is the worst

Cucy · 21/10/2025 19:38

I voted YANBU but I’m not married and so always do what I want 😁

The big question is how would you feel if DH did this?

If you would be unhappy about him lying and making the kids go breakfast club etc then it’s not fair if you do it.

But if you’d have no issue if you found out DH did this then go for it!

Cucy · 21/10/2025 19:40

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 21/10/2025 19:36

I think you should do it but tell your DH. As in, I've got an unexpected day off tomorrow and I'm going to...
He's not the boss, he should be happy for you.

I agree it’s the being deceitful that doesn’t sit right.

And as PPs have said, no relationship you should have to hide things because your DP will say no.

SideshowItchy · 21/10/2025 19:41

Do it

Gruffporcupine · 21/10/2025 19:42

Omg definitely just have a day for you. Enjoy every moment x

itsgettingweird · 21/10/2025 19:44

The only thing Gill be a giveaway is if you have a joint account and he can see you’ve brought a train ticket and lunch 😂

canklesmctacotits · 21/10/2025 19:45

Nah, I couldn't lie to my DH. And I'd feel terrible making him rush to do pick up when I'm out having a nice time and he wasn't ok with it.

I'd still put the DC in breakfast club then ask DH if he's okay with you going. If he'd rather stay at work, I'd think of indulgent things to do with a full 7 hours (or whatever). It's only fair.

Perfect28 · 21/10/2025 19:49

Do it but also tell him the truth. Any man worth their salt would say go for it

gingercat02 · 21/10/2025 19:51

I voted YABU because you should do it but don't lie about it. Everyone deserves a day off now and again. I bet your DH has one sometimes

AtLeastThreeDrinks · 21/10/2025 19:58

I’d take the day but also tell DH, but mine would encourage the break! What do you think he’ll say if you tell him you’re burnt out and could really use a day to yourself?

CatchTheWind1920 · 21/10/2025 20:17

Can't you tell dh? I'd likely just tell dh I now have a day free but I'd really like / need some time for myself and he'd be fine with sticking to the original plans. You are entitled to have some time for you, I'd just feel bad hiding it 😅

ManchesterGirl2 · 21/10/2025 20:20

I'd do it but I'd tell DH. I don't think I'd feel comfortable lying to my partner.

Original poster

takeadaytomyself2025 · 21/10/2025 20:24

So I ended up telling him as I really had no reason not too. Apart from already knowing me doing school pick up tomorrow will help him massively. I would be lieing if I said I wouldn't be upset if he did the same especially with school pick up.
So kids in breakfast club still but I pick up tomorrow.

OP posts:

Arlanymor · 21/10/2025 20:25

takeadaytomyself2025 · 21/10/2025 20:24

So I ended up telling him as I really had no reason not too. Apart from already knowing me doing school pick up tomorrow will help him massively. I would be lieing if I said I wouldn't be upset if he did the same especially with school pick up.
So kids in breakfast club still but I pick up tomorrow.

Enjoy your day - savour it.