So as the heading says my MIL is an alcoholic. But a very middle class alcoholic which means she gets away with a lot more than others would. This has been going on for about 20 years, she made my husbands life a nightmare when he was a teenager and growing up. She's always been a pain in the arse does stupid things like gets chucked off planes and out airports steaming drunk or gets naked at weddings! (Yep that happened) but shes always been very good at hiding it from others. We wil occasionally get a phone call from her partner to say she's passed out on the floor covered in vomit etc or admitted to hospital for swallowing her own sick but again she's normally quite smart at hiding it. She's recently been made redundant which has meant more time for drinking! Her mortgage is paid off and they have a lot of savings so she hasn't needed to get another job so shes just been hitting the bottle hard and has been caught by family members drink driving and passed out behind the wheel surrounded by wine bottles sitting in her own piss MULTIPLE TIMES...anyway as a family we all got together to talk to her and she agreed to go to the priory for 4 weeks at the cost of £16k!!! Obviously when she was there she moaned about it because she felt it was degrading and that she's "not like these kind of people" so she left a week early but had conntinued to go to AA when she got home. Anyway it sounded like she was doing really good and they both asked if they could have the kids to watch whilst I was at an appointment and I was a bit hesitant but her partner and her had been going on about going to all the meetings and she was doing great etc so she came to pick the kids up to go straight to pick her partner up from work (15 mins away) and I said I'd collect them an hour later. Anyway by the time I'd got to hers she was steaming drunk and sluring her words I hadn't noticed this as I was in a rush to put the kids in the car to get to my appointment. Obviously im furious with myself for putting them in that position...they could have died but im even more disgusted that she would do that. It turns out she has been drinking every day since getting home from rehab and has been hiding drink on her dog walks up the woods or just blatantly driving to Tesco and drinking a bottle or 2 on the way home!!! Anyway all hell broke loose we've banned her from seeing the kids and she hasn't tried to approach us to apologise but my husbands been on my side of this and agrees that she can't see the kids until she sorts herself out....until tonight when his sister phoned to say that shes not been doing well shes still drinking loads and she crys all the time about missing the kids and he mentioned about maybe taking them to see her 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 i explained if he wants to go and see her thats up to him but she won't be seeing the kids. She's very much a narcissist and I can feel the tables getting turned and this Is some how going to be my fault. She's never liked Me always thought I wasn't good enough etc but im now worried this is going to cause arguments between my husband and I. All advice welcome and needed
Am I being unreasonable for not allowing her to see the children