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Original poster

Ungrateful neighbour

31 replies

catagallo · 20/10/2025 10:11

I had around £20 worth of dog biscuits and treats that my dog isn't able to consume anymore.

My neighbour has 2 dogs and I asked her if she wanted them and I told her I would drop them later (was taking DC out).

I left the bags by her front door and she took the bags when she got back.

She hasn't even said "thank you", if someone gives me something I will always say thank you and show appreciation.

I have seen her and her husband a few times and they haven't even said "hello" or "thank you".

Is it me or is this just bad manners?

OP posts:
Yellowe · 20/10/2025 10:13

But didn’t she say thanks at the time when you offered and she accepted?

MissNixs · 20/10/2025 10:13

Surely she thanked you at the time of offering ?

Original poster
catagallo · 20/10/2025 10:14

No, she just said "if you don't bring them round".

OP posts:
Original poster
catagallo · 20/10/2025 10:14

Sorry typo at the time she said "If you don't mind" when I said I would leave them by the door when I got back.

OP posts:
StarlightRobot · 20/10/2025 10:21

Life is too short to spend waiting for thank yous. You gave her something you didn’t need, which reduced waste, but it wasn’t a huge deal.

SeaAndStars · 20/10/2025 10:21

It is bad manners. I would have gone out of my way to thank you and perhaps brought you a little something like some eggs from my hens or a plant I'd grown.

People can be so miserable. I once found a cat trapped by his collar. He'd obviously been there a while and was in a terrible state poor thing. I drove him the seven miles to the nearest vet - it was my vet and I'd rung ahead, she'd kindly stayed late to see him. She checked his chip and found out he belonged to someone about a 10 minute walk from my house. The cat was treated and the vet drove the cat home where her son took the cat in (another 14 mile round trip). Neither I or the vet ever heard from the owner. Not one word of thanks.

SeaAndStars · 20/10/2025 10:22

@StarlightRobot but I bet you would have said thank you if your neighbour had kindly given you something useful wouldn't you?

StarlightRobot · 20/10/2025 10:29

@SeaAndStars yes, I would have said a big thank you at the time and probably followed up with a message. BUT- I have also erred in the past and forgotten to say thank you for something given to one of my children, only to be chased for the thank you by MIL later. I could see she had the hump about it (although the gift wasn’t even from her) and I made a mental note not to become like that. To me, gift giving is about giving, not about becoming pedantic about receiving formal thank yous. There is something petty about it and life is too short, plus it takes the joy from the gift giving. In this case, it wasn’t even a gift but the OP was getting rid of things she couldn’t use

chocolateychurros · 20/10/2025 10:32

Yeah it’s rude, but not worth spending time thinking about it. You know what they’re like now.

Largestlegocollectionever · 20/10/2025 10:36

Don’t stew of some dog biscuits!

My neighbour leaves me stuff and I’ve realised on the odd occasion I’ve not thanked them the next time I’ve seen them as it’s gone from my mind at that point, she’s prob just forgot.

BauhausOfEliott · 20/10/2025 13:59

You offered something, she accepted it 'if you didn't mind'. You indicated that you didn't mind, thus indicating that it wasn't a big deal to you that required a load of additional thanks.

Honestly, it's not as deep as you think. If you feel it was rude, just don't offer her anything again, but stewing on it like this is a bit disproportionate, don't you think? It's just dog biscuits and I'm sure you've got more important things in your life than this.

Fionuala · 20/10/2025 14:03

plain bad manners
but i would ask them if they received them- say you are asking because you know things get taken from doorsteps ie amazon parcels - which is true

FamousSideeye · 20/10/2025 14:05

Is she usually rude? Maybe she is very grateful but just forgot to say thank you. I wouldn’t agonise over this or condemn her forever more.

NatalieW1907 · 20/10/2025 14:07

I really dislike bad manners, cost nothing to be polite so I am with you. I used to give things to people but not anymore.

Wingedharpy · 20/10/2025 14:09

I find the lack of thank you's happens quite a lot these days for some reason - or maybe a lot of the folk I know are just bad mannered!
The manners thing I can get over but sometimes the thank you is helpful as it's an acknowledgement that an item has been received and not nicked en route.

Alliod40 · 20/10/2025 14:16

Not everyone is as kind as we are..I've learnt my lesson now and seen it shown..i live a very quiet peaceful life now..just move on but I would not help them out ever again now x

CinnamonBuns67 · 20/10/2025 14:21

It is bad manners. If it had been me I'd have probably said "I'm sure the dogs will love them, thank you" at the time. Manners cost nothing but it does seem to be something a few people lack.

softlyfallsthesnow · 20/10/2025 14:26

No good deed goes unpunished, OP!
It's a shame she hasn't got better manners and I'd feel the same as you. You'll have to be more selective in your generosity in future as you'll just end up feeling very pissed off. I've had similar annoyances and, yes, I judge.

JohnBullshit · 20/10/2025 14:39

It was nice of you to think of your neighbour's dogs and go to the bother of asking, but the lack of 'gratitude' wouldn't trouble me at all.

ComfortFoodCafe · 20/10/2025 14:41

Bad manners but not worth holding a grudge over. Just dont do anything else for her.

MrMucker · 20/10/2025 15:20

But you didn't do anything "for" her. The stuff was unwanted, would have gone to waste, and actually by accepting it off your hands she's allowing you more room in your bin or whatever. You didn't offer her the stuff as a personalised gift you'd bought specially.
Also, giving away unwanted stuff might mean someone accepts, but also people can feel a bit sniffy about you offloading unwanted tat on them and just say yes to be polite.
So all round, no thanks due tbh. You haven't exactly done anything special apart from satisfied yourself for preventing waste.

Bluedenimdoglover · 20/10/2025 15:23

Forget about it. All done now. Nothing you can do to change things. Move on.

SandAndSea · 20/10/2025 15:26

Yes, I think it's rude too. I'd be tempted to text to check she's got them since you haven't heard from her. To give her the benefit of the doubt, she might have been unusually busy.

I've noticed that some people can be weird about saying thank you when it's something offered to them. Could she think she's helping you out in some way by taking them off your hands?

Next time, maybe give them to the local rescue.

DiscoBob · 20/10/2025 15:27

It does seem a little rude. But I wouldn't dwell on it. Is there a chance her dog didn't like them and she was a bit embarrassed in case you asked if he enjoyed them and she didn't want to lie? I'm clutching at straws here...

Notagain75 · 20/10/2025 15:34

Alliod40 · 20/10/2025 14:16

Not everyone is as kind as we are..I've learnt my lesson now and seen it shown..i live a very quiet peaceful life now..just move on but I would not help them out ever again now x

But didn't they help each other out?
OP didn't want them , instead of throwing them out or finding something else to do with them.
I don't think the neighbours did anything particularly wrong.
If it was me I think I would have sent a quick message to say we got them thank you but I wouldn't be offended by anyone who didn't

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