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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my boyfriend should be more understanding that I’m ill?

117 replies

Juliee86 · 19/10/2025 16:21

I’ve had awful vomiting and diarrhoea since yesterday, I’ve not felt this unwell for a long time. I’ve been at my boyfriend’s flat since Friday, and said to him when I started feeling unwell that I was happy to go back to mine so he didn’t catch anything. He was adamant he was happy for me to stay.

This morning led in bed, I misjudged and there was a small mess on the sheet. He went mental and called me a dirty bitch and said I’d need to clean it straight away.

I was really taken aback and upset, he apologised not long after but I said I wasn’t comfortable staying any longer so went home.

If your partner is ill then you shouldn’t react like this surely?

OP posts:
DesperateCoffee5123 · 19/10/2025 18:16

That's actually excellent. He has shown you who he is and what he would be like if you're ever ill again. Better to learn sooner rather than later.

Imagine wasting another year or two on this dickhead.

Dramatic · 19/10/2025 18:17

He called you a dirty bitch? He's shown you what kind of person he is right there and then. My DH had a rather strong reaction to some antibiotics when we were first together and he was staying at my house, I cleaned it up discreetly and wouldn't have made him feel bad about it at all. He was mortified of course but it happens to the best of us when we're ill.

Purplerubberducky · 19/10/2025 18:17

Please get rid of this nasty piece of shit.

Dramatic · 19/10/2025 18:17

Also if it ever got to the point where you had kids with him he would be absolutely terrible at dealing with birth/post partum if this is his reaction to you being poorly

StrikeForever · 19/10/2025 18:25

Rogerthat14 · 19/10/2025 18:15

Well then you should know how many OPs are in jaw dropping my awful relationships and after a few follow up posts it transpires that the writing was on the wall very early on in the relationship and they chose to ignore it.

The fact the OP is still with him and didn’t end it the man second he called her a dirty bitch…. Says a lot

I agree with your first point, but given the OP is ill and this has only just happened, IMO you jumped the gun!

Rogerthat14 · 19/10/2025 18:27

StrikeForever · 19/10/2025 18:25

I agree with your first point, but given the OP is ill and this has only just happened, IMO you jumped the gun!

Show quote history

in your opinion

noted

SL2924 · 19/10/2025 18:30

I wouldn’t have stayed at someone else’s with vomiting and diarrhoea if I could help it. But his reaction is awful. You may as well dump him as this isn’t anyone to have a long term relationship with and certainly not children.

Thepeopleversuswork · 19/10/2025 18:32

No one who calls you a "dirty bitch" should ever be given any second chances. It doesn't matter why it happened. That is all.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 19/10/2025 18:34

You poor thing, an accident like that is very upsetting for anyone. Him calling you a dirty bitch in anger would be the end of the relationship for me. You’ve seen his true colours.

Mothership4two · 19/10/2025 18:35

LittleBitofBread · 19/10/2025 17:10

I would no longer want anything to do with someone who called me a bitch, with or without the addition of ‘dirty’.

Yep, he'd be out the door

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 19/10/2025 18:46

He went mental and called me a dirty bitch

It would be a tremondous mistake to continue this relationship.

A man who does this shouldnt become your partner, your husband and/ or father of your children.

I had horrendous food poisoning abroad about a year in with my DH... Like indescribably revolting. He was incredibly nice to me and generally looked after me and told me it was okay amd he still loved me through the door when I cried about how gross I was while in a bath on all 4 fours projectile emitting 😅

Missj25 · 19/10/2025 18:46

Juliee86 · 19/10/2025 16:21

I’ve had awful vomiting and diarrhoea since yesterday, I’ve not felt this unwell for a long time. I’ve been at my boyfriend’s flat since Friday, and said to him when I started feeling unwell that I was happy to go back to mine so he didn’t catch anything. He was adamant he was happy for me to stay.

This morning led in bed, I misjudged and there was a small mess on the sheet. He went mental and called me a dirty bitch and said I’d need to clean it straight away.

I was really taken aback and upset, he apologised not long after but I said I wasn’t comfortable staying any longer so went home.

If your partner is ill then you shouldn’t react like this surely?

He’s not a keeper OP , to call you a “ dirty bitch “ , what a first class prick he is ..
He had to know you were embarrassed by this, & to react like that instead of being kind ..
And on top of it all you’re feeling so unwell..
I hope you feel better really quickly..
Forget him , no excuse high up or low down for his behaviour..
I hope you get rid of him x x

Skybluepinky · 19/10/2025 18:51

You are ill not dying, why on earth were you sharing a bed when you weren’t well utter madness.

nutbrownhare15 · 19/10/2025 18:58

Time for him to no longer be your boyfriend. Imagine how he might speak to you if you're exhausted and covered in baby vomit and need a break.

BCBird · 19/10/2025 19:02

This happened to my boyfriend when he was at mine. I was sympathetic. He was horrified.

AmericaIsSoAwesome · 19/10/2025 19:05

Bringemout · 19/10/2025 18:15

Oh god this happened to me once but we were walking home from a restaurant and I got the most god awful bout of food poisoning out of nowhere. I had to bin my clothes it was that bad. DH (who was at the time my bf) offered to help me clean up and was really understanding and kind about it. It was a gross, I felt gross but he was so matter of fact and never once made me feel bad. I literally had no control over it. I’ve never pooed the bed but I used to regularly flood and despite my best efforts (tampon, plus maxi pad plus thick joggers) I would occasionally leak. DH would just get uo and strip the sheets while I got cleaned up. No fuss.

The fact that he called you a dirty bitch is awful. He’s really quite horrible.

This is lovely and exactly what I want in my life. Safety, warmth and kindness ❤️

Jk987 · 19/10/2025 19:07

How long have you been together? I would have gone home straight away to avoid him hearing me in the toilet and the lingering smell afterwards. I know it’s natural but it’s so gross, especially if the relationship is quite new. Leaving a poo stain on the sheet is one step too far…

DrCoconut · 19/10/2025 19:11

There's a word missing from the title. Ex.

Catwoman8 · 19/10/2025 19:21

As if this isn't already embarrasing for you, he then shames you by calling you a dirty bitch, he has shown you what kind of person he is. Cruel and unkind. How long have you been together? This would be a deal breaker for me, I wouldn't want to be with someone like that.

StrikeForever · 19/10/2025 19:40

Rogerthat14 · 19/10/2025 18:27

in your opinion

noted

Edited
Show quote history

Whereas your views are facts?

PractisingMyTelekenipsis · 19/10/2025 19:50

Goodness. When I came down with a sickness bug a few weeks into my last relationship when BF was staying, he ran me a bath and changed the sheets when I shat myself. No comments other than "oh you poor thing, where are the clean sheets?"

Rogerthat14 · 19/10/2025 19:55

StrikeForever · 19/10/2025 19:40

Whereas your views are facts?

Show quote history

100%

BoarBrush · 19/10/2025 20:02

My dhs first night home after getting a stoma, he slept through his alarm to empty his bag and had a shit explosion all over the sofa and carpet. I probably did sigh but I sent him off to get cleaned up whilst I cleaned everything else. The second night, same thing except all over our bed. I did about cry that time as I was so exhausted but indeed I sent him off to get cleaned up whilst I changed the bedding. He slept wrapped in a waterproof sheet for a while after that!

My point is, shit happens. Chuck him and move on.

Hope you're feeling better soon.

Rogerthat14 · 19/10/2025 20:05

BoarBrush · 19/10/2025 20:02

My dhs first night home after getting a stoma, he slept through his alarm to empty his bag and had a shit explosion all over the sofa and carpet. I probably did sigh but I sent him off to get cleaned up whilst I cleaned everything else. The second night, same thing except all over our bed. I did about cry that time as I was so exhausted but indeed I sent him off to get cleaned up whilst I changed the bedding. He slept wrapped in a waterproof sheet for a while after that!

My point is, shit happens. Chuck him and move on.

Hope you're feeling better soon.

This sounds epically gross

how long had you been with him?

2 nights running!!!

edit… ah he was your husband! Bit different to a boyfriend you don’t live with

ohyesido · 19/10/2025 20:07

DUMP HIM

seriously that’s a terrible thing for him to say to you. Dirty bitch?
mean and unnecessary