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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was i wrong?

29 replies

Notsomarryfloppins · 19/10/2025 09:36

Went out for dinner with 3 friends last night. I know 1 (a) very well, 1 (b) well and the last (c) is a really close friend of A and we've been out together 6 or 7 times.
I had suggested dinner to a and b. A invited c to join.

I turn up at the restaurant, I drove,
I see all 3 get out of Bs car.
I live 2 roads away from B and C. Literally 600 meter walk.
A is then on route to the place we were going, so no one would have gone out their way at all.
I said, 'oh, you should have said you wee driving, I would have caught a lift you'

B says 'you always drive, I didn't think to ask'

Yes, I have driven, maybe every other time we go out.....I offer and they all say yes. I dont offer 2 out of 3, its always open to all. I dont always want to drink, might have plans etc. But its not a weird 'thing' that I have to drive.

It made me feel like a weird tag along to the night I had suggested.

Am I being unreasonable to think they could have included me. Or atleast checked?

Yes im aware that is sounds childish, yes all grown women.

OP posts:
GreyChicken · 19/10/2025 09:40

I would take what B said at face value - that in her mind, you always drive, and she just genuinely didn't think of it.

Nothing personal at all!

BMW6 · 19/10/2025 09:42

I'd be properly annoyed and hurt and would say so! That's shitty of two of them.

Original poster
Notsomarryfloppins · 19/10/2025 09:43

GreyChicken · 19/10/2025 09:40

I would take what B said at face value - that in her mind, you always drive, and she just genuinely didn't think of it.

Nothing personal at all!

But i dont always drive.
Maybe half the time, at most.

The last 2 or 3 times I haven't.

OP posts:
Original poster
Notsomarryfloppins · 19/10/2025 09:44

BMW6 · 19/10/2025 09:42

I'd be properly annoyed and hurt and would say so! That's shitty of two of them.

All 3 of them were in the car.
They picked A up en route.

OP posts:
Diarygirlqueen · 19/10/2025 09:46

I would be very annoyed at this and like you, feel like an outsider.

Very thoughtless of them.

Coconutter24 · 19/10/2025 09:48

I said, 'oh, you should have said you wee driving, I would have caught a lift you'

I wouldn’t have said that, it’s a bit cheeky, regardless of if you’ve driven before or not.
I would also say you’re wrong to make this into a big deal when it really doesn’t sound like it is. Did anyone say anything to you about your comment other than B answering you?

Brefugee · 19/10/2025 09:50

BMW6 · 19/10/2025 09:42

I'd be properly annoyed and hurt and would say so! That's shitty of two of them.

yep, would tell them. And next time you drive, don't offer, just to drive the point home.

pictoosh · 19/10/2025 09:50

I can see why this has made you feel a bit off...but it is probably as your pal said, an oversight and not deliberate.

ButtonMushrooms · 19/10/2025 09:52

I think it was probably thoughtless rather than deliberately shitty. You were right to point it out.

Trickabrick · 19/10/2025 09:54

If this is the only instance of you feeling overlooked in all the times you’ve been out together then I’d assume you were told the truth and it’s an oversight rather than a deliberate slight. Surely if they’re your friends you trust they wouldn’t deliberately hurt your feelings?

Pollqueen · 19/10/2025 10:01

I find it really odd that you all live so close but don't arrange who is driving whilst planning the outing. Equally, you didn't offer to give the others a lift either

In future, organise lifts etc when planning the meal

londongirl12 · 19/10/2025 10:06

You didn’t offer to pick up B and C either??

pictoosh · 19/10/2025 10:09

Wild shot and probably a misfire...but I'm going to ask.
Are you feeling threatened by C in some way? Like they prioritised her over you when organising transport? She was considered where you were not. Is that bothering you?

MrTiddlesTheCat · 19/10/2025 10:11

You always drive yourself and more often than not don't offer them a lift. You've made it very clear that getting to wherever is not something you want to do together. You'll sort yourself out. So they've sorted themselves out together and now you're not happy. Sorry, but yes, you are in the wrong here.

Original poster
Notsomarryfloppins · 19/10/2025 10:18

MrTiddlesTheCat · 19/10/2025 10:11

You always drive yourself and more often than not don't offer them a lift. You've made it very clear that getting to wherever is not something you want to do together. You'll sort yourself out. So they've sorted themselves out together and now you're not happy. Sorry, but yes, you are in the wrong here.

No, I said I DO offer lifts, that I offer to all NOT 2 out of 3 of them

OP posts:
MrTiddlesTheCat · 19/10/2025 10:21

Did you offer on this occasion?

IvedoneitagainhaventI · 19/10/2025 10:24

I think it was downright rude of them.

It does come over as they see themselves as a wee clique and you are the add on to their group.

I certainly wouldn't be offering them lifts in the future.

Greggsit · 19/10/2025 10:30

But you didn't offer to give anyone a lift when you drive this time? So why are you getting snotty when no one offered you a lift? How is it different?

Brefugee · 19/10/2025 10:32

MrTiddlesTheCat · 19/10/2025 10:21

Did you offer on this occasion?

not the point, though, surely. If OP offers lifts a lot of the time, or even some of the time, and asks EVERYONE then absent an offer of a lift from OP, then the person offering (esp if they have benefitted from OPs lift-giving in the past), then they offer to everyone?

Taking lifts from OP and then not offering in return? dick move.

JudgeBread · 19/10/2025 10:33

How was the rest of the night? Was everyone just as normal or did you feel excluded by other behaviour too?

If it was literally just the car thing and is a complete one off I'd shrug it off as a moment of thoughtlessness, everyone has them. If it's part of a pattern of behaviour that's a bit different.

Wildefish · 20/10/2025 19:47

Notsomarryfloppins · 19/10/2025 09:43

But i dont always drive.
Maybe half the time, at most.

The last 2 or 3 times I haven't.

Show quote history

If it’s a one off forget it. However, if it happens again mention you feel left out.

Spinmerightroundbaby · 20/10/2025 21:11

GreyChicken · 19/10/2025 09:40

I would take what B said at face value - that in her mind, you always drive, and she just genuinely didn't think of it.

Nothing personal at all!

Agreed. Especially as it sounds like the others perhaps don’t drive? When you arrange the next night out, if you all live close together, perhaps you could suggest car pooling for the next event then, and offer to start it off by offering yourself?

Yourcatisnotsorry · 20/10/2025 21:34

Did you offer to drive them since you live so close? Do you usually take it in turns who drives?

Bowies · 21/10/2025 04:39

Yes I agree with you OP.

Weird not one of them would have thought of you, especially when you offer lifts when driving, so would all travel together.

Lurkingandlearning · 21/10/2025 05:15

Notsomarryfloppins · 19/10/2025 10:18

No, I said I DO offer lifts, that I offer to all NOT 2 out of 3 of them

Show quote history

I’m confused. As you intended to drive did you offer them all a lift which they declined without saying they had already arranged to travel together in Bs car without you?
Or did you say you were driving and they would have to make their own way there.

Or were lifts / travel arrangements not discussed