Dad up the school constantly stops me to ask me a question

[Blessedone1111]

A dad up the school keeps stopping me at the school. I was in my car checking work emails, he walked from the school to across the road where my car was to ask if I was ok and find out where I was from. Everyday it’s a new question, like what race is my child’s dad ect (my child dad has never been to the school).

I don’t mind saying hi to parents but I just find it weird that he is finding me at my car and ask me to wind my window down. Am I being unreasonable for getting annoyed with this ?

That's odd! I have a few friends that come to my car for a chat whilst we wait to go into school but they are actual friends of mine so I don't mind! Why is he asking you the race of your child's dad?!

Really really strange. Does he always do it when you’re in the car? If so just ignore him and keep the window up.

If he does it outside the car tell him you’re in a rush and carry on walking.

I think I’d be very concerned, given that his questions are about ‘where you and your partner are from’.

I’d be less friendly going forward- I’d ask him why he’s asking.

Did you actually answer these questions?

Cos I'd be like er why are you coming up me asking what the race of my child's dad is

Be less accommodating. You could say that you don’t want to answer any more questions.

It’s starting to irritate me I look the other way or down when I can. But he will go out his way to say hi and get acknowledgment from me

I'd say "Why do you keep asking me the same questions every time you see me? Are you ok, mate?"

I never see his child’s mum, I feel like asking where she is since he’s being so nosey

And if he asks you an uncomfortable or private question, make him repeat it, loudly, so others can hear.

"I'm sorry, can you speak up, what did you say?"

"Oh wow, you really did just ask that. Why do you want to know?"

That is odd. I was expecting the question to be like “do they need to be in costume for book day” or some such. Not an interrogation like that. Really odd. I’m not surprised you’re getting fed up.

If he stops you in the car, I wouldn't wind my window down but would get out. Already then you are standing outside and it makes it harder for him to be snidey and speak quietly through the window.

@spoonbillstretford my little one was in the car defo was not opening the door. He put his child in the car then walked over to mind as he saw me when walking out the school assume. After I put my window straight up and drove off asap

When people ask me things that are none of their business and come across as being in bad faith (sneery, bigoted, just plain rude etc) I say "Why do you need to know that?"

Then whatever they reply you just say Oh. And you don't answer.

I've not had anyone repeat the question.

There are friendly questions and there's weird shit. He comes under weird shit.

Perhaps he’s hoping you are from where he’s from and might want to make friends?

Whatever his motivation, OP is not obligated to make friends with him just because he wants to.

I would find those kinds of questions intrusive and annoying.

Perhaps he just trying to be friendly and is socially awkward. I am and I can ask clumsy questions or say clumsy things sometimes, it doesn't make us bad people!

Sweet.

No. Just be blunt, OP “that’s none of your business”.

Sounds to me like it could be a very clumsy attempt to find out if you're single? ie enquiries about your child's dad so that you might reveal whether you are together.
(as one of the single mothers at my primary school I recognise it like this - but I've not had it wrapped up with a comment that makes it sound possibly racist?!)

Not excusing him being weird, but could that be it?

Sounds like a women a near me. She is nd. She will ask the most I intrusive strange questions. If you smile, wave back or respond in any way she thinks your best friends. I would guess he fancies you and it going the wrong way about it or he’s nd. Have you answered any of the questions he asked? Be careful if he is like the local women to me. She’s hard to get rid off.

Off the point, but why do you hang around after dropping your child off? You'e taking up a space that someone else could use.

Who on earth is this man???

How on earth do you know what the parking situation is like at this school? I suppose it wouldn’t be a Mumsnet thread without some unwarranted criticism though.

Weird!

You've already been a lot more polite than I'd have been.

Be blunt, ‘you are coming across as a bit of a stalker, you might want to work on that’.

Just say “creepy.” And drive off.