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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I wrong? Blocked by handyman.

96 replies

Elefinstrunf · 16/10/2025 16:28

I posted on FB wanting a job done and asking for quotes with a photo or the item I wanted repairing.
Someone messaged saying they could do it so I DMd them.
I said could I get a quote please, this was the first person that had responded btw so I had zero context of prices.
He said he would need to measure the item to be able to get a quote and he would need to come to my house.
I replied 'Hiya, if I measured it for you would you be able to give me a really rough quote before I drag you out here?'
He read it immediately and didn't reply.
2 hours later i elaborated with 'Sorry, hope you don't think I'm not serious about the work, I am but I have absolutely no idea what the price mark may be for someone to do this and I would feel awful if you came here to do a quote and it was just unaffordable for my budget. I understand you can't give me a cemented quote but if I could just know the ballpark I would know if its worth the trip for you to come measure up properly. I wouldn't want you wasting your time, as I know quotes eat into time and cost money, thanks!

He read it and blocked me.

I literally didn't know if it might be a £50 job or a £350 job

Was I rude/wrong?

OP posts:
SriouslyWhutNow · 16/10/2025 16:34

You sent too many words saying not a lot. If English is not his strongest language or if he’s not a man of many words he probably saw “I’m not serious about the work” and “don’t want to waste your time” and decided you didn’t want an actual quote after all.

TiredOldLady · 16/10/2025 16:36

Agree it’s far too wordy. You could send a photo with measurements and just ask can he give a quote. .

IamnotSethRogan · 16/10/2025 16:36

Nah i think you were fine and trying to be considerate.

Octavia64 · 16/10/2025 16:37

He told you he needed to measure to give a quote.

you responded with a load of faff about your feelings.

most tradies will not quote without at least some understanding that they get from visiting.

next time just let him come.

NoOneToCallWhenThePlaneLands · 16/10/2025 16:37

You’re being ridiculous. He offered to come and give a quote - let him. He knows that not every quote will turn into a job. That will be considered in his pricing strategy.

TheatricalLife · 16/10/2025 16:38

No, I wouldn't say you were rude. I think you probably came across as someone who wasn't really serious about getting the work done, or who just wasn't going to have the budget to cover the work and he couldn't be arsed with it.

Pistachiocake · 16/10/2025 16:38

Don't think you did anything wrong. Some people (not just men!) try to push potential clients into things, which is easier face to face.

Elefinstrunf · 16/10/2025 16:39

TiredOldLady · 16/10/2025 16:36

Agree it’s far too wordy. You could send a photo with measurements and just ask can he give a quote. .

Thats what the post was he replied to! Just a photo and a request of a quote.

It probably was too many words but Im ND and often babble on 😵‍💫

OP posts:
Elefinstrunf · 16/10/2025 16:41

TheatricalLife · 16/10/2025 16:38

No, I wouldn't say you were rude. I think you probably came across as someone who wasn't really serious about getting the work done, or who just wasn't going to have the budget to cover the work and he couldn't be arsed with it.

Thats why I explained all that to him 🤣😅

OP posts:
Pippa12 · 16/10/2025 16:45

I know exactly what you mean, I want a small area flagging but have no idea how much it will cost. I don’t want to drag somebody here to quote, then find I need to save up for another 6-12 months making me look like I’m not serious about the work 🤦‍♀️ I was thinking of doing similar to you but perhaps I won’t!

Shr3dding · 16/10/2025 16:46

What kind of job was it, on the face of it it does sound like was put off by your waffle

Shr3dding · 16/10/2025 16:48

Pippa12 · 16/10/2025 16:45

I know exactly what you mean, I want a small area flagging but have no idea how much it will cost. I don’t want to drag somebody here to quote, then find I need to save up for another 6-12 months making me look like I’m not serious about the work 🤦‍♀️ I was thinking of doing similar to you but perhaps I won’t!

If you're happy to share details on Facebook why not post a photo of the area and the measurements and ask for quotes by DM

Househassles · 16/10/2025 16:48

You weren't unreasonable, although maybe not as clear and direct as you could have been. It was unprofessional of him to block you, but ultimately his right. It's a potentially awkward situation - if you say up front that you have no benchmark or set a benchmark that may be very off the mark, you run the risk that the contractor will either inflate or refuse the job up front. But I would perhaps do that nevertheless to avoid a repeat, or see if you could do a bit more research (including posting on a specialist forum, or even here) to get a ballpark idea of cost?

Recently (within the last month) a friend was billed for an estimate when it became obvious that she was unlikely to go further with a project when the estimate came in too high; there had been no indication that the estimate was chargeable. Of course the contractor couldn't chargeher, just emailed the invoice, but it was still awkward.

Elefinstrunf · 16/10/2025 16:49

Shr3dding · 16/10/2025 16:46

What kind of job was it, on the face of it it does sound like was put off by your waffle

I have a displaycase and I wanted a door made for the front.

OP posts:
SparklyGlitterballs · 16/10/2025 16:49

Was he a registered tradesman with reviews etc who you could look up, or some general handyman who you couldn't assess? I'd be a bit wary of someone DMing me saying they needed to come to my house if he was the latter. Obviously different if it's a room that needs renovating or something, but depends really what the item is and what needs doing to it.

Elefinstrunf · 16/10/2025 16:51

SparklyGlitterballs · 16/10/2025 16:49

Was he a registered tradesman with reviews etc who you could look up, or some general handyman who you couldn't assess? I'd be a bit wary of someone DMing me saying they needed to come to my house if he was the latter. Obviously different if it's a room that needs renovating or something, but depends really what the item is and what needs doing to it.

Yes just a random person, not a company, which is another reason I was a bit wary and wanted a rough quote, incase he came and said something £££ and i felt uncomfortable to decline

OP posts:
SparklyGlitterballs · 16/10/2025 16:52

Cross posted with you. I'd have probably left it after the first message and waited for his response, see if anyone else replied to your post. The second message was far too much.

Twistedfirestarters · 16/10/2025 16:52

You weren't rude but you were patronising/micro managing him. It's up to him to decide how he runs his business and if it's worth going out to do a quote. If he felt going to people's houses for a quote wasn't worth his time he would have asked for measurements himself.
He possibly thought you weren't serious or would be a bit micro manage-y on the job itself

PixieandMe · 16/10/2025 16:53

Octavia64 · 16/10/2025 16:37

He told you he needed to measure to give a quote.

you responded with a load of faff about your feelings.

most tradies will not quote without at least some understanding that they get from visiting.

next time just let him come.

'a load of faff about your feelings.' 😂 Love it.

I do agree, OP. I think it was just many words and he just CBA with it. I would have just replied 'yes, please when's good?'

TheatricalLife · 16/10/2025 16:54

He wanted to come and actually look and quote though, he didn't want an explanation. You didn't want that (which is fine) and he decided obviously that it wasn't a job he was interested it (which is fine)

Snorlaxo · 16/10/2025 16:55

I think that the handyman sees your wordy response as a red flag. If you won’t let him just measure things up then maybe he’s wary that you’ll be difficult about him doing the actual job too? It’s up to him to judge if travelling to you is too far or a hassle and not for you to worry about. Didn’t you put a general location in your FB post? While it’s a waste of time for him to come round and measure something that you’ve already measured, he may want to see the cabinet in the flesh so he can work out if you’re after a budget or top quality and materials job.

Last time I had a handyman round I asked chat gpt and Checkatrade had an estimate of the work I needed doing. ChatGPT overestimated but I was able to discuss the job with the tradesman so I could understand why the job cost what it dor.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 16/10/2025 16:55

Elefinstrunf · 16/10/2025 16:49

I have a displaycase and I wanted a door made for the front.

That seems quite technical- he’d need a sense of how heavy a weight it could support. You don’t want it tipping when you open the door.

Maybe I’m imagining it wrong.

silkypyjamas · 16/10/2025 16:58

..or maybe he was dodgy wanting your address and realised that you might be cautious in allowing some random person turn up. it might have been a lucky escape?!

toolies · 16/10/2025 16:59

The reason they come out to quote for the work is so they can see the actual work involved, measure accurately and discuss details with you. Fair enough if you don’t want someone coming out but don’t pretend you are doing that for their benefit, they want to come out to be able to eye up the whole job properly before giving a price.

toolies · 16/10/2025 17:00

silkypyjamas · 16/10/2025 16:58

..or maybe he was dodgy wanting your address and realised that you might be cautious in allowing some random person turn up. it might have been a lucky escape?!

What dodgy reason would he have for wanting OP address?

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