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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was I wrong? Blocked by handyman.

96 replies

Elefinstrunf · 16/10/2025 16:28

I posted on FB wanting a job done and asking for quotes with a photo or the item I wanted repairing.
Someone messaged saying they could do it so I DMd them.
I said could I get a quote please, this was the first person that had responded btw so I had zero context of prices.
He said he would need to measure the item to be able to get a quote and he would need to come to my house.
I replied 'Hiya, if I measured it for you would you be able to give me a really rough quote before I drag you out here?'
He read it immediately and didn't reply.
2 hours later i elaborated with 'Sorry, hope you don't think I'm not serious about the work, I am but I have absolutely no idea what the price mark may be for someone to do this and I would feel awful if you came here to do a quote and it was just unaffordable for my budget. I understand you can't give me a cemented quote but if I could just know the ballpark I would know if its worth the trip for you to come measure up properly. I wouldn't want you wasting your time, as I know quotes eat into time and cost money, thanks!

He read it and blocked me.

I literally didn't know if it might be a £50 job or a £350 job

Was I rude/wrong?

OP posts:

Puffins4eva · 16/10/2025 18:54

I always ask this
Don't want to waste my time or theirs .
You have escaped a con

Flakey99 · 16/10/2025 19:04

YANBU

You don’t have to please everyone so don’t overthink your response to this random bloke or give him a second thought. Whatever his problem was, who cares? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Move on and start looking for someone else.

Halloweeeeeeeeen · 16/10/2025 19:05

Troublein · 16/10/2025 18:24

It's almost impossible to give a quote with a photo and if you'd sent me those messages I'd have blocked you and moved on too.

You are asking for a quote that is pretty much the same as asking how long is a piece of string.
Anyone who would give you any sort of quote without actually seeing it would be doing a bad job.
In my experience of customers, you have at best a 50/50 chance they'd even give you the right measurements.

What is the body of the cabinet made from?
What condition is it in, does the design have room to add a door in a way that won't look like awful and can it even take the weight of a door without falling apart or forwards when the door is opened unless back straps are being fitted?

What finish is on it and do you want it matched?
Do you want the whole cabinet refinished or just the door matched to the existing quality of finish on the cabinet?

What sort of glazing are you expecting and does it have to match anything else?
Is this matching an existing door or does a door frame need to be designed and fitted?
What sort of hardware?
There are so many more questions, but there's a few off the top of my head that I'd have.

Everyone 'just wants a quote' until they are getting the work done, then suddenly they want the solid brass handles that cost an extra £450 with inset ebony escutcheons and locks they never mentioned at no extra cost because they have a quote, before they change their mind again and wish they'd asked for the door to be fitted opening the other way.

You need to know exactly what you are asking someone to quote to do and they need to actually see what it is.

She didn’t want a blind quote, she was asking a ball park range and also was trying to be considerate to not waste his time. The least he could do was reply and say he wasn’t interested in the job. So rude and unprofessional to block over this.

Shr3dding · 16/10/2025 19:05

JLou08 · 16/10/2025 17:14

I don't think you did anything wrong. Maybe he isn't genuine and wanted to either rip you off or get into your home for another reason.

Why would he want to get the address of a random person who asked for a quote? Are you prone to paranoia?

Joliefolie · 16/10/2025 19:20

Maybe the OP could answer (to the best of your ability) the questions posed by @Troublein and then someone knowledgeable on Mumsnet could suggest a ballpark figure so the OP understands whether it's clearly out of budget...? Good luck OP, I don't think this is to do with autism, plenty of NT people who don't have much experience with tradesmen do the same. Short and to the point, let them assess, don't expect them to turn up and do the job even if they say they will.

HerNeighbourTotoro · 16/10/2025 19:36

whimsicallyprickly · 16/10/2025 18:00

I see. Well.....you already knew, then, that there might be a chance you could be waffly. Trades don't generally do waffly. You've got your answer as to why he got frustrated and blocked you, I assume

Show quote history

Being waffly is not a crime and it's a bit shit to block someone just because they are wordy. What does it even mean 'trades don't do waffly'?- the amount of tradesmen I met who would not stop talking is pretty big, so does it only goes one way? The client needs to use morse code while they talk?

MummyNeedsCoffee1 · 16/10/2025 19:42

My DH is a handyman. We often have the same situation with people wanting a rough quote first. We even had fights because I keep telling him to give them a rough quote, particularly if it’s a job far away and it would take time out of our evening or weekend if he goes there first, but he outright refuses to quote on any job without having seen it. There are just too many variables he says, and if he then goes there and it costs more than he thought from the photo, he either loses money or looks dodgy by asking for more than initially quoted.

MaurineWayBack · 16/10/2025 19:56

Elefinstrunf · 16/10/2025 18:53

Theyre busy people but have time to do a visit that could take 30mins with travel time and might turn out fruitless, rather than saying 'max it would be is about 150 quid, i can do a proper quote if thats in your budget'

A sentance that takes 20 secs to write, butbits more time saving to travel to do a quote first?

Show quote history

And more importantly, if that important to see the job, the guy could have just said do? Rather than ignoring the OP.
And then blocking her as if sending another text afterwards was like an insult?

GingerPaste · 16/10/2025 19:58

Who knows why he blocked you - but if he didn’t have the wherewithal to even read a couple of paragraphs of text without feeling the need to block you then maybe assume that he’s not the sort of guy who could be counted on.

KindnessIsKey123 · 16/10/2025 20:00

People on here are going to pick apart what you said but in essence:

Some tradesmen are nice, some are not. Some tradesmen need the work, some tradesmen do not.

Do not give it a second thought. If he doesn’t want the job, that’s his problem not yours.

We’ve done up a few houses and I’ve dealt with at least 20 tradesmen in the past 10 years. just like everyone in this world, some of them are wonderful and kind and understanding, and some of them arent. Don’t apologise for being neurodivergent and trying to be kind.

notanotherone22 · 16/10/2025 20:00

You did nothing wrong IMO OP.

Lots of posters missing the point that you put up a post and HE replied, if he had loads of work and didn’t need the job, why respond to a random post on Facebook.

In the age of the internet and smart phones that take clear pictures, I don’t think it unreasonable to ask for a rough estimate remotely. Also as a lone woman inviting a random “handyman” with no checkable credentials to my home would be an absolute NO. People are living very privileged (ignorant?) lives if they don’t see the risk here.

Would recommend task rabbit or my builder for these kinds of things. Tho I’ve ended up doing most diy tasks myself as I can’t stand the politics and inconvenience of tradesmen. Facebook can attract strange characters.

Biskieboo · 16/10/2025 20:24

If where you are it's anything like where I am in North Yorkshire then handymen aren't exactly short of work so can be choosy. I expect he just thought 'nope' at the slightest hint that the job might be more bother than it's worth.

lollypop42 · 16/10/2025 20:27

just learn and move on, you’ve done nothing wrong. lots of tradies are messers

FunMustard · 16/10/2025 21:17

SriouslyWhutNow · 16/10/2025 16:34

You sent too many words saying not a lot. If English is not his strongest language or if he’s not a man of many words he probably saw “I’m not serious about the work” and “don’t want to waste your time” and decided you didn’t want an actual quote after all.

Are we fucking serious now?!

This is possibly the stupidest reasoning for a person blocking that I've ever seen.

Redpeach · 16/10/2025 21:22

One of those apps, airtasker, taskrabbit, etc gives you a ball park of cost or you just advertise job and people offer a price

GoldPoster · 16/10/2025 21:23

If a workman asks to visit to give a quote it’s just part of the process. Let them come, Stop agonising about whether you’re wasting their time.

If they ask for a photo send them one.

Whistledown2 · 16/10/2025 21:38

Blocking is rather extreme, there was no need for him to do that. I know plenty of tradesmen who would’ve answered that message. He’s a dick and you’ve probably dodged a bullet.

You come across as a nice considerate person, genuine. I’ve had tradies say how rude and inconsiderate some of their customers are. He wasn’t the guy for you. Don’t doubt yourself.

Caerulea · 16/10/2025 21:52

mindutopia · 16/10/2025 17:32

Dh works in this sort of work. You come across as by your own admission someone who has no idea of the cost of the work you want done, and unlikely to want to pay what it will cost. Time is money and you sound like a potential time waster. Dh wouldn’t block you (unless you were truly unhinged), but he’d probably stop responding there because there is no scarcity of work.

See that just sounds really rude of your DH to me 🤷🏼‍♀️

If you're going to allow customers to direct message you then you should be prepared to deal with different communication styles.

If someone just stopped replying or blocked me for normal comms then I'd advise friends/family away from them.

(fwiw my business is largely done by messages)

Vivianebrooksmatsumoto · 17/10/2025 19:36

I can't see anything wrong in what you said but tbh you're lucky to get a workman to come out, I've had an experience where I was told to send photos first or asked if I have WhatsApp, and when I did insist one came out to look they never showed up!

PlaceIntheClouds · 17/10/2025 19:44

He asked to come around in order to provide an accurate quote and you replied with a load of woffle.

Probably saw you as hard work.

BlackBeltInOrigami · 17/10/2025 21:44

I could immediately tell from your initial post that you were ND! Typical over explaining - you are me to a T!

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