Morning everyone,
A little bit of background, 3 years ago I moved to London to be in the same city as my now husband, initially I lived in a flat share and instantly made friends with one of the women I lived with, she was also new to the city. From there we both added friends from work/uni and even though none of us live together now, or even for the matter work or study together, we have remained pretty close. When I got married earlier this year all 4 of them were my bridesmaids.
I’m now 7 months pregnant, I’m a little older than them who are all 25-27, so I’m the only married and soon to be parent in the group. Since announcing my pregnancy the friendship has adjusted a little, I expected this as they obviously still enjoy going out for drinks, but there has also been some natural evolution as several of them have moved in with their partners and we are all “growing up”. Generally though other than events that have been very clearly “drinking” I’ve still be invited until the last month or so.
The last time I met up with any of them was for one of their house warming parties, this was early September. Since then I’ve seen them meet up in pairs etc, but had no reason to think there had been any group events and I’ve been pretty tired so not really making the effort to meet up with them individually either. We have a group chat that is basically active most days and sometimes we call each other just to catch up.
Onto tonight, I know some people may judge this but as a group we really enjoy the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, last year we had a little watch party and really enjoyed it. This year we spoke about the models/musical performers as they were announced in the group chat, but no one seemed to be making any plans and I figured that it was probably as we’d all grown up a bit in the last year. I woke up in the middle of the night and had a little scroll on instagram and to my surprise they did all meet up, they seemed to go out for dinner and drinks before going back to one of their flats to watch it. Now I know it’s silly, it’s just a fashion show and fundamentally I don’t actually care about that, but I am quite hurt to be excluded as while I can’t drink, I can eat and would have happily had a soft drink if they had wanted to go to a bar between dinner and going home. I know I’ve been tired so might not have stayed for the whole thing but there is a part of me that feels quite hurt to have been excluded.
I’m fully aware friendships evolve overtime and rarely last forever but considering these girls were just my bridesmaids back in January, I didn’t really anticipate the friendships breaking down already.
AIBU to be hurt, and maybe message one of them (the one I’d say I’m closest to and who happened to be the one hosting by the looks of it) to ask if there was a reason I wasn’t invited? I don’t know if it would be worth it or if I’m better just accepting friendships evolve as we move to different life stages.
Awkwardly though I am having my baby shower (I know not everyone’s taste either) at the weekend and they are all invited, and seem to be coming!