To feel sad about my kids growing up?

[mariaaam]

I have two kids, a girl and a boy, and for family reasons, it’s likely that they’ll be my only two. My daughter is starting school next year, and it honestly breaks my heart a little. I keep thinking about how quickly she’s growing up and how many moments are already behind us.

What really gets me is realising that there’s always a last: the last time she falls asleep in my arms, the last time I kiss a grazed knee, the last time she reaches for my hand without thinking, and you never really know when it’s the last until it’s gone. It’s such a bittersweet feeling. I’m so proud of her, but I also miss my little girl.

I love my son just as much, of course, but that sense of time slipping away hits me especially hard with my daughter. I guess because she’s older and her “lasts” will be sooner.

Has anyone else gone through this? How do you cope with that mix of nostalgia and sadness? Is it just part of motherhood, or do you think it’s something to talk through with a therapist?

It is a privilege to watch your children grow up.

Focus on enjoying each new stage, they are all wonderful.

My aim as a mother was to raise kind, useful adults.

This song gets me every time. Every single time. That said, no, OP, no sadness when DD started school. Progression and new horizons.

You have so many firsts ahead (mine are teens). Honestly it's still brilliant, just different.

I have loved each stage (not so keen on early baby days).

There's certain things gs that stick in your heart forever. Try to not dwell on what might be the last time,it might suck out joy. She'll still grab your hand unexpectedly - honest.

I’ve felt twinges of this, but my oldest is now in the last year of primary school and I've realised that although they’ve had many ‘lasts’ they're still having lots of ‘firsts’ and I’m finding every age (even as they get older) interesting and lovely. I especially love the new depths of conversation we can have as they can really articulate themselves and have their own opinions. So I try not to dwell on the lasts and instead enjoy the now, because so far every age has had its pleasures and I feel more reassured that that will continue. So although I don't wish it away, I look forward with curiosity, to seeing them continue to grow and develop.

I think you need to try and reframe things a bit and not see growing up as a loss, but as an ongoing journey that still has lots of firsts to enjoy.

I love hanging out my older kids/teens much more fun than the early years .

My DS is 16 and 6ft 3. He fell asleep with his head on my lap the other night.
He kisses me goodnight every evening and shouts “love you mum” every time he leaves the house.
My DD’s aren’t as affectionate as him but still hug me lots.

Either way, you’ll find amazing new ‘firsts’ as they get older and you have plenty of time for those.
Just enjoy each moment for what it is. You’ll ruin it if you’re constantly worrying about them getting older!

Agree with all the amazing new firsts as they grown older even into adulthood
DD is now expecting her first baby and I’m reminiscing whilst enjoying all the new grandparent to be firsts!
Helping buy baby stuff and currently knitting

That’s lovely. I find the enjoyment of the young adult dc years a surprisingly nice stage. Not there yet, just uni stage but still.

I never really post things, but just to send you a hug and say I know. !
Oh my god, I understand…
it’s all heart breaking.
My twins ( my first, last and only) have been literally breaking my heart since they were born with all the Last times.

I mean it’s heaven, oh so much heaven, but oh God that’s what makes it so sad.

Google Nicole Nordeman ‘ Slow Down’ and cry like a baby.
And know you aren’t alone.

It will be ok, you’re doing an amazing job and you wouldn’t want it any other way. Just accept the grief for what it is