Parents annoyed by excessive cleanliness

[sofiaparker]

I am very very OCD and I do hygiene tasks a lot like regular surface disinfection and laundry loads. I change my bed once a week and this really annoys my parents. They think I'm being wasteful. I used to have super long showers before but have cut it down drastically to 15mins max now with the tap off most of the time while I'm lathering soap and scrubbing the shower before rinsing and maybe a quick shave. My parents get so triggered by my hygiene routines.

I've heard parents being annoyed at messy kids. But I'm not messy at all and still getting yelled at!!

AIBU?

Firstly your not ocd unless you are officially diagnosed with it as ocd means something very different. Secondly how old are you?

If you're still living at home take your linen to a laundrette. Super long showers are ridiculous.

Get treatment for the OCD.

Washing your bedding once a week is normal. Perhaps your hygiene issues stem from having parents who criticise normal cleanliness and didn't clean your bedding often enough when you were a child.
I don't have any advice, I'm afraid, but it sounds really hard.

Possibly because super long showers and excessive laundry costs money in electricity and water if the house is on a meter.
And please don’t use the term “very OCD” unless you’re diagnosed with OCD. It’s a debilitating mental disorder, not just liking things to be clean.

I'm not officially diagnosed with OCD but it definitely affects my life, and I've had it since I was very young. Just because you don't have an official diagnosis doesn't mean you haven't got it.

Do you live with your parents OP? If so, do you contribute to the fuel bill?

Move into your own house @sofiaparker

Are they triggered by what you perceive as hygiene or what they probably see is wasteful and a harmful amount of chemicals?

Have you always had concerns about your hygiene?

Also, don’t use OCD to mean being clean.

I am diagnosed with OCD and chronically ill. I try to help around the house and I do a lot. Currently out of job as I have resumed studies. But I would like to contribute when I am able to again. I haven't helped with bills before but have chipped in for things around the house without being asked to. Parents don't expect contributions they just don't want me to waste anyone's resources. Even my own. I'm working on it. But I still think changing bedding once a week should be acceptable. My parents and sister don't change their beds for months.

I thought washing bedding once a week was the norm. I certainly do that. Your parents and sister not changing theirs for months is revolting.

OP, if you were my daughter I would love to have you living with me and being vigilant about cleanliness and hygiene. People who pay attention to these things make everyone's lives so much better and healthier. In fact, people like you are why human lifespan has increased in the Western world.
Sorry you're getting stick from your folks about your perfectly normal bedlinen habits. I change mine every 10 days, and the difference it makes to my sleep quality and daytime mood is immense.
Could you pick up a few shifts as a cleaner to support your studies and pay your way at home? You'd be incredibly valuable, and you might find it quite satisfying.
Maybe try to keep the showers brief and efficient, OK? Here in Australia, where we have to be careful with water use, we usually keep showers to five minutes or less. Yet we're clean.

Bloody hell. Talk about missing the point😬

Have to say my OCD is very very different because what your saying is what I know normal family members to do. not every morning without fail I change my bed quite often more than once a day if my head isn't happy with it. I can have up to 10 showers a day not including up to 5 baths aswell and wash wash wash clothes. Anyway I'm studying and working 30hours so contribute half my months wage towards things in my parents house as I know how expensive everything is especially the water meters as someone mentioned. Luckily they don't complain about anything and I'm happy like this at the mo till I find my next house

@ClinkeyMonkey how am I missing the point? I support and sympathise with the OP. I don't think her habits are abnormal. I think she could reframe her cleanliness as a strength and spin it into work for which customers would be grateful.
For context, I grew up in 1980s Sydney with British parents who allowed me to bathe only once a week. Imagine how that went down at school. TMI, yah?

Changing beds once a week is the norm. I do it twice a week in Summer.

Firstly, practically speaking someone who has OCD has the same life impacts the day before the diagnosis is given as well as the day after. Secondly the OP has a diagnosis anyway.

First of all changing your bed sheets once a week is completely normal. That being said whilst you’re living in someone else’s home it can make things tricky. If you don’t want to change your habits can you find a way to contribute to the laundry costs or use a laundrette instead? If the waters off for most of the duration of the shower that shouldn’t be an issue. However water bills have sky rocketed for most in the last year or so.

Are finances stretched at home? Is it possible that whilst they haven’t asked for contributions they’re struggling to support the household?

How often are you disinfecting the surfaces? How long does it take? Does this interrupt everyone else’s use of the room?

Ultimately it one of those situations where your behaviour may be completely acceptable in your own home but when you’re sharing a space you have to think about how it impacts others to.

I had post-natal contamination OCD OP (well have I don’t think it ever really goes away although it is much much better now) and I know I was very difficult to live with because of it. People can say that what you are doing sounds normal but you are most likely minimising it massively and it will be hard for your parents, I know people lost patience with me a lot when I was at my worst because they just don’t ‘get’ it, understandable because it is a mental illness not a personality trait as a lot of people seem to view it.

How old are you @sofiaparker ?

Ocd is one of the the most misunderstood mental health conditions around and people seem to think just because they like things clean they have it and it has nothing to do with having a clean house it is about obsessions and compulsions its about rituals and significant anxiety.

Agree with @youalright a flatmate of mine at uni had it, shared living was hell for her, she couldn't use the loo/bathroom after someone else until it had been fully disinfected, bleached and scrubbed. It was horrible, her rituals would take hours, and she could often be found passed out in there with bleeding hands from all the products and scrubbing.

How would anyone ever get diagnosed with anything, if you couldn’t suffer from it until after official diagnosis?

Ditto my daughter

Oohh I voted yanbu but having read this, I think you might be a bit as it’s not your house.. bills and contributions aside, ultimately it is their house.

My husband and I shower twice a day, vacuum twice a week, chores every week. I clean when I see obvious dirt/dust. But my dad’s next level “OCD” (prolly where I got mine from!) annoys the hell out of me when my parents stay over.

we do beds every 2 weeks but the nice a week is fine. Maybe take bedding to a laundrette as a solution. It sounds like you have managed showers quite well.