To be upset my mum said this

[hallofgory]

I was abandoned by my mum aged two and sent to live with my dad, the only explanation I got was she was young and couldn’t cope.
My dad and step mum were really nice but obviously didn’t have anything nice to say about her but I still saw her once a week.
She is married now and they have 3 other children that she suddenly could cope with and I thought we had a good relationship all things considered but she revealed I wasn’t brought up to have any respect for her so she has always distanced herself, stating she has 3 other children who respect her so she’s focusing on that. They are much younger than me.
How am I supposed to take this?

I’m so sorry. I’m sure you feel she’s rejected/ abandoned you all over again.
If you haven’t sought therapy, please do seek some support to work through the impact of your mother’s issues.

It sounds like your mum was very vulnerable. I can see why what she said is hurtful to you, but I can also see why she feels that way. I just don't think you needed to hear it.
How old are you now, and how old are your siblings on mums side?

Ok so I’m sorry you feel this way and that you feel abandoned. However, she couldn’t cope and Dad was primary carer (the other way around wouldn’t be considered abandonment) you admit your Dad spoke poorly of her, is it possible you treat her disrespectfully? Only you know this. I had 50/50 with my children and their Dad talked negatively about me all the time and I’ve certainly been treated with less respect than I deserve, I hold that in. However, I can see how it might hurt your Mum. Could you consider therapy together?

So your Dad had a relationship with another very young woman? I’m sorry OP but I think you may have had so much poison dropped in your ear by your Dad and step Mum that you’re clouding how you see your Mum. She made sure to see you despite being VERY young and it sounds like you were happy with her.

How old are you op?
and do you have kids?

I have to say that as a middle aged person with a 17yo and a 19yo, the thought of either of them having had a child with a 20something is utterly horrifying.

This is a tricky situation, she had you when she was still a child herself, and she obviously couldn't manage it on her own which is why your Dad had more care of you (he was quite a bit older to be fair, that's quite a difference in maturity levels at that age) and it obviously hurts her too much to feel that she wasn't the Mum to you that she is to her other children so she's projecting it all onto others- saying that you weren't raised to respect her which might be partly true if your Dad and step mum said bad things about her, as well as that it's very different that she's now raising children as an adult with a husband, rather than a single teenager. They are 2 completely different situations and unfortunately you are the one who missed out due to no fault of your own. Hopefully you can have the best possible relationship with her as adults.

I get the issues people have with your dad but that still doesn’t excuse your mum talking to you like that.