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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick of pretentious use of “said”

135 replies

Driftingawaynow · 14/10/2025 15:17

Increasingly I notice people using the word “said” where “the” would do fine.

for example:

asked my husband to take out the washing, he left said washing in the dryer.

it’s really bizarrely irritating

OP posts:
1457bloom · 16/10/2025 07:37

Using the word said in this way is just common.

ttcat37 · 16/10/2025 07:53

My bugbear is when people use the word myself instead of I or me. “My partner and myself” makes me have an internal tantrum

EllatrixB · 16/10/2025 07:57

thistimelastweek · 14/10/2025 19:22

Same goes for 'disgusting'.

Shit on your shoe is disgusting .
Waitrose running out of avocados is a bit disappointing.

Show quote history

This really annoys me. I used to have a primary school headteacher who described very minor infractions as "dizzzzgusting" and it took away the power of the word for me! Even at that's age we could see she was exaggerating.

B1anche · 16/10/2025 08:12

People who say "myself" in instead of "me". I see people do it all the time when I'm reviewing their work.

"Dear X Further to your meeting with Blanche and myself..." No! "...with me and Blanche"!

logplant · 16/10/2025 08:16

B1anche · 16/10/2025 08:12

People who say "myself" in instead of "me". I see people do it all the time when I'm reviewing their work.

"Dear X Further to your meeting with Blanche and myself..." No! "...with me and Blanche"!

In general there is an over use of myself, something like - I myself feel I wouldn’t like to go, personally speaking. It’s just not needed.

BruisedNeckMeat · 16/10/2025 08:27

There are a few of these MN affectations that I rarely see anywhere else. I think it’s because MN is a rather snobby place and so posters want to display their superior intellect.

One that bugs me is stating that one is ‘large of boob’ or ‘long of leg’ rather than just ‘I have big boobs and long legs’.

Original poster
Driftingawaynow · 16/10/2025 08:38

BruisedNeckMeat · 16/10/2025 08:27

There are a few of these MN affectations that I rarely see anywhere else. I think it’s because MN is a rather snobby place and so posters want to display their superior intellect.

One that bugs me is stating that one is ‘large of boob’ or ‘long of leg’ rather than just ‘I have big boobs and long legs’.

Exactly this!

OP posts:
squashyhat · 16/10/2025 08:39

UnctuousUnicorns · 14/10/2025 15:27

I agree. "Aforementioned" would be much better imo.

And once again, this is why we need the laugh reaction.
Grin

logplant · 16/10/2025 08:40

GreyCarpet · 16/10/2025 07:30

I get increasingly irritated by the dumbing down of language and anyone using anything more complex than text speak being seen as pretentious.

I agree with this.

When I was a teenager, I had a more sophisticated lexicon than my parents and I was often mocked by my mother who accused me of using my intelligence against her and other people by using 'big words'.

I was just using the most appropriate word rather than describing the same concept in half a dozen or so other 'less sophisticated' words.

Now when I read criticism of other people's language for being 'pretentious', I tend to assume they are also accusing others of 'using your intelligence against me', which says more about the person complaining than it does about the person speaking.

If other people are using words you don't understand or in a context you're not familiar with, the failing, if there is one, is probably not with them.

With all that intelligence you should be able to flex your choice of words so that you communicate effectively with your mother if that is your intention.

Original poster
Driftingawaynow · 16/10/2025 08:49

But “said” isn’t a long and confusing word. And the use of it on MN is not in line with real world use in my humble opinion. It seems to me like people are sticking into posts in the hope that it will make them appear intelligent/witty/interesting. Absolutely fair enough if you would do it in real life, but I’ve never once heard this. Maybe I need to get out more.

OP posts:
StinkyCheeseMoose · 16/10/2025 11:21

XWKD · 16/10/2025 04:59

If that's a hanging offence, people who say "Quote unquote" before a quote should be peeled and salted.

Show quote history

"Quote unquote" before a quote is the most heinous hanging offense, but let's peel and salt them in advance of their hanging. It will be a useful warning to future "Quote unquote" offenders.

LavenderBlue19 · 16/10/2025 11:28

Lurkingandlearning · 16/10/2025 06:38

Every time I see said used in that way I think of a dated court room drama and a pompous wig wearing wanker.

Do people really say it in conversation?

Yes, it's completely normal. I wouldn't say I use it regularly, but in specific circumstances it's exactly the right thing to say.

I'm not pompous and I think Jacob Rees Mogg is a pseudo-posh cunt.

Abitofalark · 16/10/2025 11:33

Jujujudo · 14/10/2025 15:26

I’m irritated by the word “super”. It was super simple! Or I’m super busy! I don’t know why but it irritates me. I’m also starting to get annoyed with “gotten”. Maybe I’m menopausal..

I'm irritated constantly by certain words or phrases but 'super' isn't one of them. Don't get me started on 'uber' though. Or 'faux'. Bah! And I agree about your final irritant.

StinkyCheeseMoose · 16/10/2025 11:40

B1anche · 16/10/2025 08:12

People who say "myself" in instead of "me". I see people do it all the time when I'm reviewing their work.

"Dear X Further to your meeting with Blanche and myself..." No! "...with me and Blanche"!

People who say "myself" in instead of "me". I see people do it all the time when I'm reviewing their work.

"Dear X Further to your meeting with Blanche and myself..." No! "...with me and Blanche"!

I was with you until "me and Blanche", it should be "Blanche and me". The other person goes first.

I agree with you about the annoying misuse of reflexive pronouns though.

People who mistakenly believe adding "self" or "selves" unnecessarily makes them sound more "correct" or "polite" can be quite irritating. It seems to be quite a common thing with estate agents and other sales people.

Unfortunately reflexive pronouns are so commonly abused that they might eventually become "common usage" and therefore acceptable. 😢

StinkyCheeseMoose · 16/10/2025 11:53

LavenderBlue19 · 16/10/2025 11:28

Yes, it's completely normal. I wouldn't say I use it regularly, but in specific circumstances it's exactly the right thing to say.

I'm not pompous and I think Jacob Rees Mogg is a pseudo-posh cunt.

Show quote history

Others can decide for themselves if Jacob Rees Mogg is "pompous" and/or a "cunt", but I don't think his "poshness" is "pseudo".

Most "posh" people nowadays tone their accent down, so those that don't - like JRM - can seem a bit "unreal". I think presenting as his authentic self instead of dropping his aitches and pretending he's working class is quite refreshing.

Abitofalark · 16/10/2025 11:56

DappledThings · 14/10/2025 18:01

It's just a turn of phrase to emphasise it is the same thing you are talking about that you were already talking about. It's not pretentious

I see it as a small verbal flourish probably used to add drama or colour to a spoken narrative or it might have been picked up from others and repeated without conscious intent.

Abitofalark · 16/10/2025 11:58

StinkyCheeseMoose · 14/10/2025 19:08

asked my husband to take out the washing, he left said washing in the dryer.

I suppose the intention is to make it clear that the washing he left in the dryer is the same washing they asked him to take out. It's a bit unnecessary, though because it's unlikely that anyone is going to think they are talking about two different loads of washing.

It's unnecessary and a bit annoying, but hardly a hanging offense, unlike when people are talking about something someone else said and they say

Quote, unquote "He didn't take the said washing out"

instead of:

Quote "He didn't take the said washing out" Unquote.

That is a hanging offense...

Show quote history

'Offense' is a hanging offence.

Abitofalark · 16/10/2025 12:07

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 16/10/2025 00:51

I get very irritated by people who answer with “absolutely “ each time they answer a question. What is wrong with “yes”?

Edited

'Totally'. Even worse is '(a) hundred per cent'.

TheBucketFamily · 16/10/2025 12:17

B1anche · 16/10/2025 08:12

People who say "myself" in instead of "me". I see people do it all the time when I'm reviewing their work.

"Dear X Further to your meeting with Blanche and myself..." No! "...with me and Blanche"!

I agree! The misuse of "myself" used to really irritate me in the weekly school staff meetings I used to attend when I was working in school admin.
I was often astonished by the lack of basic literacy skills of many of the teachers (such as the erroneous use of apostrophes), evidenced in internal emails. They all had university degrees and teaching qualifications (whereas I had neither).

Abitofalark · 16/10/2025 12:24

KimberleyClark · 16/10/2025 03:59

I’m really irritated by “excited for” instead of “excited about”. “I’m really excited for the new series of Strictly” It is technically correct usage of the word “for” but feels like it shouldn’t be.

They're two different meanings. Shades of meaning abound. 'Irritated for'? You wouldn't say that's correct in the context of a phrase about being irritated by the use of words.

TheAmusedQuail · 16/10/2025 12:25

CurlewKate · 14/10/2025 15:20

Eh? It’s been a usage for ages. Can be useful. Not pretentious at all.

It really is pretentious. And frequently it isn't even used correctly.

Jujujudo · 16/10/2025 12:27

Abitofalark · 16/10/2025 11:33

I'm irritated constantly by certain words or phrases but 'super' isn't one of them. Don't get me started on 'uber' though. Or 'faux'. Bah! And I agree about your final irritant.

Show quote history

Uber is just a pretentious super really 🩷

TheAmusedQuail · 16/10/2025 12:27

1457bloom · 16/10/2025 07:37

Using the word said in this way is just common.

Definitely.

And using 'I' instead of 'me'. 'James and I at the Arena.' NO! It's 'James and me.'

How to say you're ignorant without saying it.

Abitofalark · 16/10/2025 12:29

RoseAndGeranium · 14/10/2025 19:32

Also, everyone on social media needs to stop using the word ‘ilk’ in weirdly aggressive and accusatory ways. ‘The country is going down the pan because of you and your ilk!’ ‘You and your ilk make vulnerable people’s lives a misery!’ ‘You and your ilk WOULD say that!’ It’s awful.

I don't know about social media but that looks as if they mean to use it to be dismissive or to convey contempt. So why would they stop?

augustusglupe · 16/10/2025 12:31

If I never hear Iconic & Powerful again it’ll be too soon 🙄