Would you stay friends with this person? Unsure

[Parmaviolet3456]

WWYD?

We’ve been friends for years (since childhood)
Around 5 years ago I noticed a change in her, since having kids really. She became quite opinionated and judgemental. She is otherwise a lovely person and very caring but sometimes her need to say her opinion on my life choices annoys me.

We had had conversations about this in the past after a few fallings out and she said it’s just who she is. I’ve tried to accept it as she has so many other good qualities.

I think some of it comes from a place of jealousy. She will comment on me taking my DC away abroad, my house, the age gap we’re wanting for DC2 etc

I’m going to take a step back from her for a whilst I have a think on what to do.

YABU - everyone has traits, this is her, if she’s an otherwise good friend then just shut her down
YANBU - you’re in your mid 30’s and don’t need a friend picking your decisions apart or judging them - ditch her

Yes you could say something like this, even add in there's more than one way to skin a cat..... her reaction will say alot

Shell either take it on board and reflect or
Will get defensive

Your friend needs counseling. She really does think she has the right idea and best ideas and if you would just follow her lead you would realize that. It’s not your job to fix her but she does need a wake up call. She needs to learn that there’s more than one right way and she alone doesn’t get to decide.

People tend to be either radiators or drains. She sounds like the latter.

Oh My Goodness
There's 3 years between me & my older sibling
We think so much of each other & empathise & get on more than some of my friends whom have just less than a year between them
Also, so many of my friends, have older brothers or sisters, 3 + years more
Where does she get the notion that this is such a gap? How cruel of her to imply this is insane - Over the top of her, to say the very least, unnecessary & immensely unkind
You be you, don't permit anyone to imply you're not of sound mind
God Bless You&Yours 💚

I have a 6 year gap between mine. Now 22 and 16 years old. They get on so well always chatting. The son is older and I honestly think the gap does not feel so big now they have grown up. They have never argued at all with such a big gap so that's a plus!

I had a friend years ago that I found difficult. I remember asking my mum for advice and she said you have to put up with relatives that you dont always get on with but not friends! I very slowly stopped meeting up with her and moved on. Move on OP she sounds difficult.

“It’s just who I am” sounds like a sub-genre of “I just tell it like it is”. Both tedious.

I don’t have friendships to be picked apart and criticised. I have friendships that enhance my life, not make me pissed off.

I’d be inclined to let this one wither on the vine.

I hate second guessing shit when it comes to friendship and trust.
A friendship shouldn't be so stressful and a friend doesn't make shit comments on the life you give yourself and your DC.

Tell her you're getting pissed off with her constant criticism and if she can't then she can fuck off out if your life!

Tell her you know why she's like it but it's tiresome, predictable and you've had enough of it.

A good friend will heed your warning and reign in her nasty behaviour.

Regarding the choice of age gaps between children, a smaller gap does not mean they will be closer as adults . I am the middle child of three , with DB1 being 16 months older than me and DB2 being 8 and a half years younger . I am and always have been close to both my brothers but definitely closer to my younger brother a
nd his family. Until our mid teens DB1 and I fought like cat and dog whereas DB2 was always the baby and treated very kindly.