Selling car and money left over

[SugarPlumpFairyCakes]

What is fair? Posting here for traffic.

I am separated from stbxh from October 2022.
We have a car. We owe finance on it. All In my stbxh’s name. It is a huge payment of €1222 every month which I have been paying since October 2022.

I use the car. He doesn’t. He Lives quite far away. I’ve not been able to sell it because its value was worth less than what is owed on it. The dumbest financial decision we ever made was getting the car. That isn’t under debate.

I have got the debt down to under €20k since October 2022. Just chipped away at it and it could now be worth circa €15k more than what is owed on it.

Meanwhile, he is generous with maintainence. Still a struggle for me to cover everything. I am doing ok. Surviving. I work and I pay off the car every month. I can’t afford it any more now.
.
He now wants to sell the car, pay off what is owed on it and then use what’s left to pay off some of his own debts. What debts I don’t know. He’s awful with money. None of my business anyway what debts he gets into anymore.

It’s me that has been paying off the car for nearly three years since we split albeit with some of the maintenance money and some of my earnings.

He says because he’s generous with maintenance that in effect it’s his money that’s been paying off the car. It’s not all from maintenance money at all.

Is it fair he takes all the money that’s left over once the car is paid off?

I mean he has inexplicably spent other monies that were due to pay off other debts he’s left me with like outstanding school fees. I would like to put any money left over from the car sale towards that school fee debt so I can work towards being entirely free of the financial horror show he’s left me with. Instead he wants to wait and see what he can get away with not paying to the school. They have already reduced the debt by €5k which is incredibly gracious of them.

There was zero financial transparency in marriage. He would scream abuse at me if I ever tried to find out where huge sums of money had gone and how he managed to accrue huge debts.

What do you think? Should I just let him take the money (circa €15k - the exact amount we owe in fees!) for his own debts?

What financial agreement was made when you divorced? That’s what matters here really. It’s in his name, so it’s not really up to you to “let” him, and you’ve been paying for it because you’ve been using it.

Depending on where you are I’d also be wary of what rocking the boat could cost you, if you say he is currently generous- what would your situation be if his generosity ended tomorrow and he started to give you only the bare minimum?

There is what is fair and then there is what is legal
I am assuming you are non UK so check what the situation is where you are if you sell something not belonging to you and keep the money.
Morally it would be great if you could use it for school fees but you need to make sure you can do that and not get inot any trouble

The financial agreement is all signed. Binding.

I mean, he had been generous so far in accordance with the agreement but on the other hand, there is circa £700k that is missing from the marriage (house sale and remortgaging of rental properties). I couldn’t afford a forensic accountant to investigate these.

I could not and would not sell something that isn’t mine. That isn’t the question. It’s all in his name but I have been paying the monthly payments. .

So what does your financial agreement say about this car then? Who’s is it, legally?

It’s his car. His debt. In his name. But I’ve been paying off the debt.

I’m not sure what your point is here OP. It’s in his name, it’s his. You’ve been making the payments but you’ve also been the one using it, that doesn't make it your car though.

I never said it was my car. My point is that I have been using it. Also go the benefit of the kids. He’s benefitted too as he’s used it when he visits the kids. I am the only one Paying it off. And I am left with debt from school fees through no fault of my own and the money from sale of the car could pay that off. He’s liable for those too.

So then the money is his, what you want to do is irrelevant without his agreement.

My payments saved it from being repossessed and giving him a poor credit rating.

Ok. Then I will simply stop paying g for it. And stop using it. The finance company will take possession.

Again OP, that’s a choice you have made but it doesn’t make it your car, nor does it make it your money.

Stop paying it if you don’t want or need use of the car.

do that then
I am not sure what you want from us OP
Your ex should give you the money but he won't so thats that

That’s what I am asking. Should he?

I am not sure why you just didn't get your own car with smaller repayments and leave him to sort out his car - if he couldn't afford it then it would have been up to him to let it be repossessed. Am not sure why you are worried that it would affect his credit score.

There isn’t one answer to that question though.

It’s his car, his finance, his money, so on that basis no he “shouldn’t”.

It would be nice if he did, but he doesn’t have to.

The car should have been included in the financial settlement. Why wasn’t it.

now he wants one thing and you want another. Can you reach an amicable settlement? If so what do you think that might be. I don’t suggest letting the car be repossessed.

Based on the info you have given I think so but I doubt that will matter to your ex

Well, it is complicated. He left us to return to U.K. after being violent and had a gf there.

Violence etc. Court case. Divorce hearing. Still not divorced but financial settlement

I could not sell it. It’s not mine to sell. And also more was owed on it that not was worth until recently.

I just carried on. Thought I was holding everything together. I couldn’t get finance sorted myself for a while either until everything was settled.

But you’re right. I have paid all that money for a long time with nothing to show for it. No leased car would have cost that much. I should have just let it be repossessed as soon as the shit hit the fan. I just wanted to avoid drama and distress and more issues.

And I am not worried about it affecting his credit score. I am merely pointing that fact out.

You have been basically renting his car off him. I would have given it back and let it get repossessed. Get yourself a cheaper car. But no, it belongs to him so unfortunately I don’t think you are entitled to get anything from the sale of it.

I know I am not entitled to anything.

We got the car when we were still married. Weird how his debts became mine too when we got divorced. But not anything positive.

Yes, but your divorce was 3 years ago! You are the one who has chosen to continue paying something you didn’t have to for all that time.

If there was equity at the point of divorce then that would have been split.

We aren’t divorced yet.

Separated. He wants to delay divorce to avoid paying tax on some shares that may or may not IPO.