6yr old searching naked pictures on youtube

[BeWittyBird]

Hi,

Today my 6yr Ds was on his tablet and he immediately closed it when I entered the room. I knew straight away from the look on his face that the was hiding something.

I asked him what he was doing and he hugged me immediately. I said it’s okay let me see, he kept pulling his tablet out of my hands and I assured him everything would be okay aslong as he showed me.

He ran out of the room and I opened his tablet to see him typing “someone naked” and there was a lot of nudes on videos I was shocked and naive to think this content wasn’t on YouTube.

He has a parental lock on his tablet and only YouTube kids but he went on chrome and searched YouTube on there and he probably realized there is no censoring.

He was a covid baby and we moved from the uk straight after lockdown. He has been homeschooled for a while as we moved around and now we live in a country where there are strict restrictions online. He has recently started school but I don’t think it’s something he picked up from there, I’m just shocked as it’s very out of character.

i had a talk with him and he was just crying the entire time and was very ashamed. I reassured him but told him the dangers of going on that part of the internet.

I just can’t seem to forget it, is this a big deal or something kids go through? I have a neurodivergent 8yo Ds who happily watches peppa pig and nursery rhymes so this is very new to me.

This is on you for not locking his tablet down properly and not supervising his internet access.

It's normal to be curious but they shouldn't be able to access any of this stuff.

@thisishowloween i understand, I’m taking all the measures now. That’s not what I’m asking though.

Have you asked him why he searched it?

Check all the history to see what he has been watching. No unsupervised tab/Internet at all, as well as every restrict going.

If I was you he'd have absolutely zero screen time...just normal TV in living room.

It’s not a big deal and it is normal to do. This was on you for allowing a 6yo to access pornographic content

Have you asked why he was wanting to look for naked people? What prompted the search in the first place?

hes very young to be searching that tbh, I think I would want a calm none judgemental conversation about why he was thinking about it and what made him curious.

He's way too young for his own tablet especially unsupervised that’s totally bonkers 😵‍💫 I’m not some militant anti screen mum but we have a house tablet that lives in the kitchen and no access to internet unsupervised at that age. You’ll know that now though at least and hopefully this is the very first time he tried anything like that ❤️❤️ hopefully it’s just innocent curiosity, must be scary though for you

Child safety controls on the wifi! The point is that if you don't have those, kids will inadvertently access these when looking for something innocent, and then be curious and look for more. Just shut it down at the wifi level. My controls are so rigorous I can't even buy wine without disabling it.

I actually wouldn’t say that searching for this at 6 is normal curiosity. 8 or 9 maybe, but 6 is so very young to be purposely seeking out someone naked. I would be very worried about what else he’d been accessing on the iPad because you’ve been letting him have free access. Check the history, talk to him lots and television only from here on in. It must’ve been a shock for you OP

My boss’s seven year old son got caught out after his dad noticed that someone had been googling “naked ladies” and “fat naked ladies” on the family PC. The computer was well locked down but it showed up in his cookies. At that age I think it’s curiosity.

I think you've done the right thing by reassuring him that he's done the right thing by telling you. And a big discussion now about what is and isn't good on the internet is needed.

But I do hope you see how an iPad for a 6-year-old isn't the best idea. Especially where they can access pretty much whatever they like. I don't want to be a preacher - believe me, my kids watch TV like it's an addiction - but why oh why do we as a society think that any child needs an Ipad or a phone. Let them play!! They want one because WE overuse them and WE introduce them, and we ignore the fact that they are access to all sorts of things kids shouldn't be seeing or hearing or following.

Children just shouldn’t have their own devices. Seriously, just take it away. For so many reasons.

But it’s hardly the worst search term, presumably he wasn’t to know the sort of things that would come up. Hes 6!! Don’t shame him. Apologise, explain it was your fault, talk to him about what led him to do that and perhaps get him an age appropriate book about bodies.

It's perfectly natural for him to be curious. I recommend this book as a gentle start to very early sex ed. It talks about the differences between boys and girls and how babies are made. We found it very useful for our kids at a similar age.

Please don't make him feel ashamed or dirty for having genuine natural curiosity. Just tweak the parental settings and use this as a teaching moment.

https://www.worldofbooks.com/en-gb/products/let-s-talk-about-girls-boys-babies-bodies-families-and-friends-book-robie-h-harris-9781406306064?sku=GOR001757526&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17428061960&gbraid=0AAAAADZzAICStScLFIW_vLGiCM1cN0QK_&gclid=CjwKCAjwxrLHBhA2EiwAu9EdM0f9L5Biq5YHdyT7QQFJfcNdom3_gEqjLuti6ixoB4eEjruKBdCgshoCaM8QAvD_BwE

Does he have a book about bodies? Get him something age appropriate

I think it’s probably in the normal realms of curiosity, but I’d be concerned too. What is the family approach to nakedness out of interest? Does he ever see you or his dad naked?

I echo pp’s question of what made him want to search it in the first place.

Also do you have any concerns that he could ever have been exposed to any inappropriate behaviour by an adult or another child?

My 10 year old doesn’t have an iPad. And he’s quite the coder - he’s got a laptop that’s used inside the living room. My nearly 6 year old Dd has no idea that she might even ask for an iPad.

Id be questioning where and when and in what context your child can access technology and what technology it is. I’d also be asking questions about what he has seen or heard to spark the curiosity which in itself is natural but not the searching for pictures online.

This is a very odd thing for a 6 year old to be searching for imo. And I don’t know why a 6 year old would know or need to know how to search for anything online.

He shouldn't have his own device at that age and definitely shouldn't be using it without supervision. You don't need to ask why he's doing it - he's doing it because he's curious, especially if he never sees you/his dad naked. It's not a big deal or something terrible. Get him an age appropriate book.

Your son has nothing to be ashamed of. This is on YOUR rubbish parenting. A 6 year old does not need a tablet, let alone unsupervised access to one without any child locks. But you do you - just let a screen raise your child when you CBA to interact with him and play age appropriate games with him.

I think there’s a lot of good ideas here. I would introduce him to some of the books mentioned and shut down unsupervised internet access.

You’ve had a bit of a scare, but this is a chance to scale things back and open a conversation. I don’t think his behaviour is super concerning though. Boys this age are obsessed with willies and bums and toilet humour.

She didn't 'allow' him to access pornographic content. He searched for naked people without her permission. Yes, she should have been supervising but you've twisted what happened here.

She did allow it - not intentionally - but by not supervising properly and and not having the appropriate controls in place.

It seems like natural curiosity.

Thank you for all your comments, some great advice taken on board. Very stupidly thought having a no screen time approach on weekdays as Ds1 has asd and I feel it contributed to his late talking and behaviors. So eliminated it completely and allow 2 hours on weekends. Even then it’s most likely less as we are out and about.

this week Ds2 6, did very well at school and treated him to a little more time on the tablet but he is always supervised and uses it in the living room. But I found him in my room alone and he searched it while I was in the shower. There is a no tablet in bedroom policy as well.

i guess I let my guard down as I didn’t think this is what happens at this age. he is very advanced for his age though and a wiz at technology like most kids nowadays.

i was concerned like another poster said if he’d been exposed to anything but he said no. I will have a talk with him tomorrow again and hopefully get to the bottom of it. I hope it was curiosity, and nothing more but I don’t know what damage has been done by what glimpses he saw.

no other things were searched and this is the first time as I thoroughly checked. For someone who asked about how nudity is viewed in the family, I breastfeed infront of him but other than that he doesn’t see nudity openly.

I have a 7 year old DS who doesn't know how to type in the search field of Youtube or Google, so the problem has never occurred!
Joking aside, I never noticed any curiosity around that topic yet. He's been seeing us naked since he was born and we never made a big deal about it. And he's still getting help from us getting changed/showering etc). As far as I know also his classmates are still quite 'young' in that sense.

Like many other parents who replied to this post, DS only has access to our iPad downstairs, for a limited amount of time every day, and only YT Kids or similar. But to be honest he watches it next to/around us at all times, so he wouldn't be able to do anything like this even if he wanted to. But it's always been like this so it's nothing forced and has no concept of hiding/wanting to watch something he can't.