Why oh why are people giving their under 12s tablets?

[Bigpinksweater]

The evidence regarding the effects of tablets on developing brains is damning. They are absolutely not necessary and barely existed 15 years ago. We are seeing huge rises in behavioural and developmental issues while steadfastly ignoring the fact screen time and in particular tablets can contribute to virtually all of them.

Why oh why are people still handing their toddlers and primary school children tablets?

And this is exactly why no one can actually have a proper discussion about the harm it causes, there’s always an autism parent ready to jump in and call us ableist or whatever. They are damaging, that is a fact. And no, I do not believe that every child I see with an iPad/smartphone in their face has it out of desperation.
Also a parent to 2 older children with ASD/ADHD who I had to parent without using any tech because it just wasn’t available/affordable when they were younger.

My children have all had tablets from the age of 3.
My 11 year old boy comes home from school at 3pm, by 3:30 he's out with his friends, climbing trees, riding bikes, playing football. When he comes home at 6:30/7pm he has food, does his homework (if he has any that day). Then plays on his phone for an hour before bed. He eats around the table without technology in his hand. He does normal boy things. He just likes it to chill with for an hour before bed.
My 9 year old girl is neurodivergent, her tablet is her go to when she's feeling overwhelmed and yes she does spend a lot of time on it. But she will also play with her toys, draw/colour, go to her cousins to play (3 doors up), ride her scooter outside our house, and she also sits around the table for food without screens.
My 4 (nearly 5) year old has access to screens, but very rarely chooses to use them, she'd rather play, colour or read. When she does ask for screens, 95% of the time she just wants my phone to video call her Nans or her aunties and cousins.

In school they all use ipads/laptops to do work on at some point during the day. Screens are not always bad. Screens have not caused my 9 year old to be neurodivergent. They can be a good tool for learning, and yes they can be a good tool for giving a parent a half hour break sometimes. Moderation is key. I don't see them as any different to the TV being on in the background (actually I think that may even be worse if it's all day).

But a lot of the time it’s not what is best for the child is it? It’s what is best for the parent.

The reason a child will often be given an iPad is because it has a benefit to the parent, ie. they need their child to be quiet and still whilst the parent works/cleans the kitchen/needs a break/wants to have a meal without questions from their child/wants to have an uninterrupted coffee with a friend/wants to walk around the shops without having to entertain their child.

I’d be surprised if many parents genuinely thinks it’s best for their child to sit playing on/watching an iPad than interacting with them or the child instead being able to be entertained by reading/drawing/doing puzzles or something.

Sometimes it can be to benefit everyone. As I've said before there is a middle ground. Parents need to clean, parents need to feed their children, parents need to buy food and medication, parents need the head space to parent. I feel the judgement comes from a place of privilege. It is easy to judge if a child will sit and independently play or do puzzles, or you have family, support from a partner or outsource chores.

I can’t believe so many parents are blasé about this stuff. Screens are unavoidable for older teens and young adults. But I see the effect of screens on me. I don’t know why people don’t worry a bit about this.

According to this thread, most kids are learning another language, engaging in urban planning and political discourse and only using their iPads for worthy activities. So perhaps all is ok and we are worrying for nothing.

You mean from our taxes 😂

Unlimited as in we don't pay attention to how long she has screen time for... some days it's more, some days it's none, and if she asks for something with a screen and theres no reason to say no then we say yes.

What it means is that she absolutely doesn't give a sh** about screens and mostly ignores them

Unlimited as in we don't pay attention to how long she has screen time for... some days it's more, some days it's none, and if she asks for something with a screen and theres no reason to say no then we say yes.

What it means is that she absolutely doesn't give a sh** about screens and mostly ignores them

In the 1970s it was not uncommon to see a group of teenagers sitting In the bus stop all evening smoking,not speaking. I am a talker, p!enty of literature to indicate talking is not always conducive to developing concentration, listening, social or academic skills.We can look at any group of society and match our own beliefs to them. I have critiqued copious amounts of literature and have not been able to find any that conclusively link to what the op states. In many ways tablets are better than television as there is opportunity to interact. I see teenagers in the parks in London laughing and having a great deal of interaction with one another whilst preparing and filming videos not dissimilar to how we used to practice music and dance when forming rock groups.

I don’t know how old you are but I’m 40years old. When I was 9yrs (my daughter’s age) we had a game boy to share and a Nintendo. We were also able to watch TV after school and before bed. The difference is the duration they’re allowed on screen and what other hobbies and interests parents encourage - it’s not “the tablet” that’s the problem.

I live in France. As it happens I got an email today from our equivalent of the NHS reminding me that children under 3 should not be exposed to screens at all, not even a TV on in the background, and that the use of screens in childcare settings and primary schools is prohibited by law.

Same !

Thats fantastic

So they don't teach computing, or use something like an interactive whiteboard...

Or do you just mean tablets and phones?

I don't think they do in primary school.

That sounds great. I wonder if they have any research that’s backed up their decision. Wish they would share it!

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/apr/30/stop-children-using-smartphones-until-they-are-13-say-french-experts-in-report

https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/frances-toddler-screen-ban-is-pure-state-overreach/

My dd has had her own iPad since she was 6. She used Lingokids and can now speak a second language as a direct result! As long as you’re careful to curate the content, they can be incredibly educational and intuitive, even. Obviously it goes without saying that there’s NO social media. She will not have social media until she’s in year 9. At least.

I think you need to get with the times and educate yourself on technology, OP. It’s not all “evil”

They do! My DD is in year 6 and they exclusively use iPads in lessons. All homework is also done via the iPad.

I think my response of “because he’s been able to swallow them since he was 8” probably isn’t the right answer 🙈

When I opened the thread I thought the same thing. 😂

Sounds like my 4 yr old! Only wants a screen if she wants something specific never just because she wants tablet time or whatever.

No I mean I don't think they do in primary school here.

I find such over-reliance on iPads pretty horrifying tbh. I'm glad my children will get a more analogue education.

Unless the studies I read were out of date, the screens themselves aren't a problem, (though some programs and games are designed to keep kids with short attention spams hooked) it is only when they are replacing interactions and communication with their parents and others, that issues arise or when parents are not policing the content they are consuming.
My kids didn't get tablets until they were 5 and almost 5, but they have them regularly now, they also swim, do taekwondo, walk to and from school every day, go for a walk around a country park every weekend and their development and school achievement is fine (age 8 almost 7)