Page 16 | Why oh why are people giving their under 12s tablets?

Bigpinksweater · 2025-10-12T19:24:42+00:00

The evidence regarding the effects of tablets on developing brains is damning. They are absolutely not necessary and barely existed 15 years ago. We are seeing huge rises in behavioural and developmental issues while steadfastly ignoring the fact screen time and in particular tablets can contribute to virtually all of them. Why oh why are people still handing their toddlers and primary school children tablets?

Idonthavetimeforabrokenfoot · 13/10/2025 21:24

Gruffporcupine · 13/10/2025 20:47

They do yes, mostly with their older sibling. They know where and how far they are allowed to go, and I tell them when they need to be back by. As they get older, where and how far increases naturally. They also know what to do in an emergency (find a nice lady, ideally with children, to help) and they know our address and phone number. My eldest gets the bus into town alone to meet friends. We live in a safe and rural area where this is possible, and so I fully appreciate that this may not be everyone's experience. But I do think parents should try to facilitate this kind of thing where they can, as it builds so much resilience, problem solving, independence, all that good stuff. This could be things like letting children run on ahead when out walking for example. If we go out as a family, me and DH often sit at a Cafe and the children will just run off and do their own thing. The worst that's happened is a sprained ankle or cut. We are usually out for the entire morning in the hols, unless it's absolutely torrential.

They look out for each other, as I did for my siblings. There were a lot of us growing up and at 5 years old I was often babysitting for my younger siblings while my Mum got on with things. Perhaps it's my background and growing up that way, but it really saddens me that there's so much less playing out and being outdoors than there used to be. These devices are such a terrible replacement. You literally see families out at restaurants and the parents, rather than involving their kids in conversations and talking, are happy to shove an iPad in the kids face. It's just sad

Show quote history

My DH was seriously injured at 4 whilst playing out under the supervision of his siblings. By SS's standards this is child neglect. Whilst hopefully a kind lady will be on hand should an incident occur, if emergency services are involved a meeting will be held about whether it is safe for your DC to be returned to you given the previous neglect. You must have plenty of time to judge other parents whilst ignoring your own children's needs.

GagMeWithASpoon · 13/10/2025 21:30

Gruffporcupine · 13/10/2025 20:47

They do yes, mostly with their older sibling. They know where and how far they are allowed to go, and I tell them when they need to be back by. As they get older, where and how far increases naturally. They also know what to do in an emergency (find a nice lady, ideally with children, to help) and they know our address and phone number. My eldest gets the bus into town alone to meet friends. We live in a safe and rural area where this is possible, and so I fully appreciate that this may not be everyone's experience. But I do think parents should try to facilitate this kind of thing where they can, as it builds so much resilience, problem solving, independence, all that good stuff. This could be things like letting children run on ahead when out walking for example. If we go out as a family, me and DH often sit at a Cafe and the children will just run off and do their own thing. The worst that's happened is a sprained ankle or cut. We are usually out for the entire morning in the hols, unless it's absolutely torrential.

They look out for each other, as I did for my siblings. There were a lot of us growing up and at 5 years old I was often babysitting for my younger siblings while my Mum got on with things. Perhaps it's my background and growing up that way, but it really saddens me that there's so much less playing out and being outdoors than there used to be. These devices are such a terrible replacement. You literally see families out at restaurants and the parents, rather than involving their kids in conversations and talking, are happy to shove an iPad in the kids face. It's just sad

Show quote history

How is THAT not lazy parenting?

Needspaceforlego · 13/10/2025 21:30

Idonthavetimeforabrokenfoot · 13/10/2025 21:24

My DH was seriously injured at 4 whilst playing out under the supervision of his siblings. By SS's standards this is child neglect. Whilst hopefully a kind lady will be on hand should an incident occur, if emergency services are involved a meeting will be held about whether it is safe for your DC to be returned to you given the previous neglect. You must have plenty of time to judge other parents whilst ignoring your own children's needs.

Show quote history

I know someone who has permanent injury due to playing out unsupervised as a young child.

KaleQueen · 13/10/2025 21:34

‘
@Gruffporcupine our kids play out. Can’t get them in at times. But we’re blessed with a no through road fairly small estate so it’s the kind of place where you can. And there’s lots of kids of all ages all looking after each other and various parents doing turns doing the same. They come in when the street lights come on. Estate has tons of green space and a play park. We’re so lucky.

KaleQueen · 13/10/2025 21:39

Needspaceforlego · 13/10/2025 21:30

I know someone who has permanent injury due to playing out unsupervised as a young child.

Show quote history

I know someone who has a permanent injury from falling over backwards on her drive when the dog pulled her over then stopped suddenly. That doesn’t make dogs or driveways unsafe, or walking your dog unsafe.

Gruffporcupine · 13/10/2025 21:42

Idonthavetimeforabrokenfoot · 13/10/2025 21:24

My DH was seriously injured at 4 whilst playing out under the supervision of his siblings. By SS's standards this is child neglect. Whilst hopefully a kind lady will be on hand should an incident occur, if emergency services are involved a meeting will be held about whether it is safe for your DC to be returned to you given the previous neglect. You must have plenty of time to judge other parents whilst ignoring your own children's needs.

Show quote history

Do you need a sit down? The hysteria!

Gruffporcupine · 13/10/2025 21:43

KaleQueen · 13/10/2025 21:34

‘
@Gruffporcupine our kids play out. Can’t get them in at times. But we’re blessed with a no through road fairly small estate so it’s the kind of place where you can. And there’s lots of kids of all ages all looking after each other and various parents doing turns doing the same. They come in when the street lights come on. Estate has tons of green space and a play park. We’re so lucky.

It is so lovely to see <3

Idonthavetimeforabrokenfoot · 13/10/2025 21:47

Gruffporcupine · 13/10/2025 21:42

Do you need a sit down? The hysteria!

Show quote history

It isn't hysteria, I am simply pointing out the process that would happen should your children come to harm. You are an incredibly lazy parent and your children deserve better.

Gruffporcupine · 13/10/2025 21:48

Idonthavetimeforabrokenfoot · 13/10/2025 21:47

It isn't hysteria, I am simply pointing out the process that would happen should your children come to harm. You are an incredibly lazy parent and your children deserve better.

Show quote history

Alright! Have a great week! :)

Barnbrack · 13/10/2025 21:53

KaleQueen · 13/10/2025 21:39

I know someone who has a permanent injury from falling over backwards on her drive when the dog pulled her over then stopped suddenly. That doesn’t make dogs or driveways unsafe, or walking your dog unsafe.

Show quote history

No but if your child of 4 was playing out alone and attacked and killed by an XL bully. Whose fault is that?

Barnbrack · 13/10/2025 21:54

Gruffporcupine · 13/10/2025 21:42

Do you need a sit down? The hysteria!

Show quote history

Hilarious, hysteria to suggest 4 yr olds need adult supervision but NOT hysteria to claim it's neglectful to let a kid use a tablet for an hour or 2 here or there.

BlackbirdPieAndMash · 13/10/2025 21:56

ObelixtheGaul · 13/10/2025 19:15

I think harping about what we did in the 70s/80s/90s/ pick pre tablet decade is a bit pointless.

We aren't living in that time now. Yes, I grew up in a different time when we didn't have all that, but kids today aren't living in that world. The technology is there. We aren't going to suddenly see it disappear.

People can sit and do the smug, 'oh, well, MY child doesn't use any of that' like the parents of my generation used to smugly announce little Josephine didn't know what a TV was.

But the fact is, this is their world. It's more than a TV, it's a tool that, no, many might not need at the dinner table, but all are likely to need more as their lives progress down this current technological path.

We really should be more concerned about our children being prepared for a job market that existed 20 years ago, not the one that will exist when they leave school.

Who here would have said, 'I'm not buying a computer for my child' 20 years ago for anything other than financial reasons?

I know you'll say, 'it's different', but it really isn't. Your children need to be using the tools that will have the most prominence in their lives as they grow up. We can't pretend all this will go away.

Usage doesn't have to be irresponsible. You are still the parent, not the machine. You don't have to leave them sat in front of it until their brain rots, but you DO need to recognise the importance of this stuff in modern lives.

I wish it wasn't so, but wishing doesn't change it, and trying to take their child out of the sphere of references for their era is not the answer.

Literally this. As someone who is now mid 20s, I never got to go and play out unsupervised as a child. I was dropped off at friends houses to play. I liked to watch cartoons, play video games with my big brother. Didn’t have the nostalgic free-roaming childhood.

Despite growing up with tech, all children love to play especially outdoors.

It is all about balance and parenting appropriately.

I know so many people my age who are in fields like medicine, pharmacy, dentistry, law, engineering etc. Tech didn’t stop us from doing real life things, our brains didn’t turn to mush because we were exposed to screens. The anti-screen stuff can be a bit performative.

On the flip side, there are people who do blast Cocomelon for their babies for hours and hours, and I feel sorry for those children. But that is a parenting issue, not a tablet/tech issue.

Gruffporcupine · 13/10/2025 22:01

Barnbrack · 13/10/2025 21:54

Hilarious, hysteria to suggest 4 yr olds need adult supervision but NOT hysteria to claim it's neglectful to let a kid use a tablet for an hour or 2 here or there.

Show quote history

I didn't say it was neglectful, I said that it's well documented that such devices have negative impact on child development, they aren't needed and I personally don't allow my children to use them and would encourage other parents to do the same. I do allow my children, within age appropriate limits, to play out and encourage as much time outdoors as possible. This was completely normal in all of history until about three decades ago and the documented benefits outweigh the risks in my view. These last few generations of children are sick and miserable and it's no mystery why.

Barnbrack · 13/10/2025 22:06

Gruffporcupine · 13/10/2025 22:01

I didn't say it was neglectful, I said that it's well documented that such devices have negative impact on child development, they aren't needed and I personally don't allow my children to use them and would encourage other parents to do the same. I do allow my children, within age appropriate limits, to play out and encourage as much time outdoors as possible. This was completely normal in all of history until about three decades ago and the documented benefits outweigh the risks in my view. These last few generations of children are sick and miserable and it's no mystery why.

Show quote history

It was normal as was high child mortality from accidents and injury

Also you're correct you said it was lazy. Stated it's lazy to give a child a tablet so you can enjoy a meal. Yet you apparently let a 4 yr old run off unsupervised while you sit in a cage unconcerned which is absolutely lazy, neglectful and not too bright.

Gruffporcupine · 13/10/2025 22:09

Barnbrack · 13/10/2025 22:06

It was normal as was high child mortality from accidents and injury

Also you're correct you said it was lazy. Stated it's lazy to give a child a tablet so you can enjoy a meal. Yet you apparently let a 4 yr old run off unsupervised while you sit in a cage unconcerned which is absolutely lazy, neglectful and not too bright.

Show quote history

With their older sibling/s and with clear rules*

Barnbrack · 13/10/2025 22:20

Gruffporcupine · 13/10/2025 22:09

With their older sibling/s and with clear rules*

Show quote history

With their 6 and 10 yr old siblings, also without adult supervision or I imagine a phone to let them contact you because they've never witnessed a screen. You don't see the laziness and neglect of leaving a 10 yr old in charge of your 4 yr old?

Again, while you're in a cafe, where are they running off to exactly?

KaleQueen · 13/10/2025 22:53

Barnbrack · 13/10/2025 21:53

No but if your child of 4 was playing out alone and attacked and killed by an XL bully. Whose fault is that?

Show quote history

Oh okay, erm I’m mean firstly thanks for the awful scene you just created in my head.

In answer to your ridiculously irrelevant question in terms of this thread: The dog = the owner of the dog.

Lavender14 · 13/10/2025 22:54

Gruffporcupine · 13/10/2025 22:09

With their older sibling/s and with clear rules*

Show quote history

This is a very big responsibility to put on a 10 year old. Nspcc recommends children don't start babysitting until 16. The issue is how a 10 year old would be able to manage if a crisis situation arose.

Obviously there's cultural differences to this and there's a wide range of maturity across a group of 10 year olds, but I think there's a careful balance to be had between being a good big brother/ sister and becoming parentified.

KaleQueen · 13/10/2025 22:58

@Lavender14
keeping one eye out for a younger sibling in a play situation is not being ‘parentified’ it’s bloody normal. It’s actually how we humans learn nurturing skills thinking about it…it’s normal.

jbm16 · 13/10/2025 23:15

Like anything they are fine in moderation, great for learning, the issue is that some parents don't moderate the usage.

Tryingatleast · 13/10/2025 23:19

I don’t think the homework part is an issue, it’s all the other time they spend on that or a phone. And totally not the same as tv, different rays, they hold it near their face and stare, sometimes at fast moving images that are extremely bright. Horrendous when you think of it. It’s a battle here, worst thing we ever did was introduce screens in, albeit at a later age- we were dumb enough to buy 10yo at old one last year

JillMW · 13/10/2025 23:30

Bigpinksweater · 12/10/2025 20:31

Yes but my point is they’re not something which has become such a long term part of our life and culture that to remove them would cause genuine disruption, like the TV.

Show quote history

I am a bit confused by this. Would removal of tv cause more disruption? Most families that I know don’t have one now.
Where have you found the statistics about behavioural issues and developmental delay? What makes you think it is more to do with tablets than the breakdown of traditional family values? Is it that there is worsening or just that there is more diagnosis/documentation? Many confounding factors

BuildbyNumbere · 13/10/2025 23:32

Because people use them as a babysitter … rather than entertain their own children they would
rather shove them a tablet.

BuildbyNumbere · 13/10/2025 23:36

PurpleChrayn · 12/10/2025 21:10

How else would you suggest we expose our children to their second language that nobody else in our vicinity speaks except their dad?

🤣

BuildbyNumbere · 13/10/2025 23:37

abouttogetlynched · 12/10/2025 21:15

I’ll no doubt get flamed for this, but…
Lazy parenting.
There, I said it.
Probably won’t just get flamed, but also have my comment deleted because people don’t like to feel criticised for their poor/lazy choices.

No, that is spot on the reason.