Help me help myself

[BeAnythingBeKind]

I'm struggling and I can't get out of this slum.

I go to work, can't wait to get home, as soon as I get in, my pyjamas are in.

Then I just sit in front of the telly all night.

I have weekends off and I dont do anything, I don't want to do anything. I don't leave the house, and just mope about.

I promise myself every week that I'm going to do something, anything, at the weekends but the time comes round and I just don't want to.

I also hate the way I look. I've put weight on over the year, a lot of weight. I'm a size 18, pushing a 20, and I hate it. About 18 months ago I was a 12/14!

I know I need to eat better and exercise more, and every weekend I'm like, right, start fresh on Monday, then Monday comes around and nothing changes.

Help me. Where do I start!

Do you think maybe you could be depressed? Not to sound insensitive. Sounds like me sometimes. It is really tough to find motivation you just have to pull yourself together some days and force yourself to go out.

I can relate to this.

How’s your health? When my iron is low I feel really unmotivated and lethargic.

I’ve been there. It’s hard to get motivated.

could you give yourself something to look forward to? Plan a catch up with a friend, join a book club, decorate a room, make your own Christmas cake, whatever.

that will give you something to aim for - making arrangements, planning what you need (paint, ingredients, yoga mat, whatever), practicing some small talk etc.

it needn’t be anything big. Small steps. One focus at a time. Once you’ve got some pleasure in your calendar, you might start to feel better about yourself and be motivated to take the next steps.

I remind myself that the day has 24 hours in it. I tell myself im going to do x and it will just take 15m - that's a whole 23h 45m left of the day.

I also only leave the house for 'appointments' so I make 'appointments'. Yoga class, walking group, theatre, meet friends...

I also dont give myself a choice. Shall I wash up? Well, obviously, no! I will wash up bc washing up has to be done, it's not a choice.

Also, a one positive and constructive thing per day rule has helped. That might just be the washing up...

I’m in years or months, what time you have wasted?!
I struggle at times with poor health, and do what I can when, mid stage Parkinson’s no fun, try to eat healthily , spend time with my loved ones.
At 63, can’t work, no way, no dress rehearsal in life.

I suppose it's a possibility.
I mean, I do, do stuff at the weekends.
I've tidied the house top to bottom today, and yesterday, I had to go out as I had an appointment, but, if I didn't have the appointment I'd probably have just mooched about.

I am tired all the time,but I put that down to not sleeping great

I suppose I could do a "to do list"

My kitchen cupboards need clearing, that could be a start. It's boring though, and I think that's half the problem

Oh, I wash up after every meal, and make sure the house is clean and tidy. It's just everything else, I just can't be bothered!

I'm sorry to hear of your poor health.

And you're right, life is no rehearsal, which is why I'm reaching out for tips

I wash up after every meal, and make sure the house is clean and tidy. It's just everything else, I just can't be bothered!

Well youre way ahead of me then!

Not everything I said was about washing up though so maybe some useful tips there.

Are you single? Live alone? any children?

Are you actually physically tired? More likely to sleep better if physically tired

I think getting a blood test would be a good idea to rule out any underlying issues.

I have lost five stone this year on Mounjaro. Other weight loss methods might suit you better. Taking control of my health has made me far more positive.

I joined Slimming World. I deliberately joined a Monday evening group because it does two things for me. Firstly it starts every week with the motivation to stick to healthy eating, secondly it keeps me on track and makes me exercise over the weekend. If I went to a group later in the week I just know I'd pig out and laze about over the weekend, but a Monday group doesn't give me time to catch up if I do that.

That time slipping by whilst your watching tv and doing nothing thing is such an easy trap to fall into. I seem to have broken the slump by planning two things in my diary every day. I plan something to improve my situation e.g. exercise, shopping for the week's healthy food or doing some duo Lingo. Also something I will enjoy e.g. meeting a friend at the pub, a long soak in the bath with a good book or doing some craft. If it's in my diary I will do it. If it's not I just let it slip.

Your sleep would be so much improved with a little fresh air and exercise. I know full well that this is so much more easier said than done but once you start doing it, it does get easier.

When you get home from work, put your trainers on and go for a walk around the block. Walk to the shop and back. When you get home, you can shower and put your pyjamas on.

At the weekend, do something in the mornings. Go and walk Parkrun or something. Once that’s done, you’ll have the rest of the day to do what you want but you’ll have done something with your day and I always find it better to do it early and get it out of the way.

If you think that’s unachieveable every weekend, do it every other.

You CAN do this. But you’ve got to want to do it. You could get a thousand replies on this thread with good advice but if it’s not what you want to hear, you ain’t gonna hear it. Good luck 🙂

Slimming world didn't work for me, it had the opposite affect,

Good luck in your journey though 🤗

You're right.

I'm going to take my trainers with me to work so they are in the car, no excuses!!

I really do want to be healthier, I just don't want to do what you've got to do to be healthy

Maybe I should, just to see

Thank you everyone for you lovely tips and advice.

I know the natural answer is to say I'm depressed but I really dont think I am.

I honestly think I'm just fed up, bored and tired.

Changes are needed and only I can make them 🤗

Yes to all of these, but unsure why it would relevant?

You don’t know why it would be relevant if you had children, young children for example, with you? And you are as describe?

I'm obviously missing something, please do elaborate

can't wait to get home, as soon as I get in, my pyjamas are in.
Then I just sit in front of the telly all night.
I have weekends off and I dont do anything, I don't want to do anything. I don't leave the house, and just mope about.

and you think that if you had young children this wouldn’t be a serious problem. For them?

but you don’t have young children , so not an issue.

your inability to see why it would be an issue though is… a little odd and concerning in itself

Could you do something while on the sofa - eg a craft which makes you feel productive and like you haven't wasted the time.