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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who are you in these situations?

119 replies

PumpkinSpiceAndEverythingNice · 12/10/2025 12:14

Not really an AIBU, just wondering who you are in this situation as we’re on a car journey and discussing it.

There’s two lanes of traffic, clearly signed that one lane is going to close off. The left lane is backed up and barely moving causing a big backup, while people fly up the right lane and force their way in at the front, thus saving themselves 15 mins of queuing, but also adding time to the people queuing by forcing their way in front.

We were in the left lane, queuing as I see proper, but also feeling the appropriate rage towards the people flying past us. The car in front of us doing a lot of head shaking and wanker signs towards the queue cutters.

When we got to the front of the queue, DH let some of the cars in. I would have written off my car trying to not let them in.

So, do you queue or would you be a right laner? And do you let them in?
YABU - take the right lane and go past the queue and save time
YANBU - queue like a civilised person but add time on your journey

OP posts:
notatinydancer · 12/10/2025 22:16

You’re supposed to use both lanes and zip merge. So your rage is inappropriate. There should be signs. It’s staggering the amount of drivers who don’t know this.

notatinydancer · 12/10/2025 22:19

wildeflowers · 12/10/2025 17:50

When you see the sign, you merge. Just like any other traffic sign. Not when you feel like it, not when it gives you advantage like cutting in the front. You do it when you see the sign. Those that ignore it to get ahead are massive jerks.

You merge where the lane you’re in closes. Not 200m down the road.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 12/10/2025 22:19

ConnieHeart · 12/10/2025 17:06

Nothing cheeky about it & they are not pushing in

So I gather from this thread.

(also to @RhaenysRocks )

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 12/10/2025 22:21

bumbaloo · 12/10/2025 17:48

They aren’t pushing in though are they. They are correctly merging

So I understand from this thread.

IndoorVoice · 12/10/2025 22:24

Elektra1 · 12/10/2025 20:34

In this situation I try to turn in well before the actual funnel neck. When I’m at the front of the queue and those who’ve chanced their arm going right up to the last possible point try to turn in, I will let one or two in, because who really cares about a couple of extra minutes on their journey? It literally does not matter. When people do that thing of inching their car forward to try to stop you getting in I just think “what a dick”. It’s also dangerous on a motorway as an accident could happen with cars coming up faster behind them when they’re totally stationary trying to cut in.

You’re technically doing the right thing by going right to the end though. Zipper merging cuts down the overall queue time when everyone does it. I get that it’s hard though when you know that people in the left lane are going to make it difficult.

IndoorVoice · 12/10/2025 22:25

wildeflowers · 12/10/2025 17:50

When you see the sign, you merge. Just like any other traffic sign. Not when you feel like it, not when it gives you advantage like cutting in the front. You do it when you see the sign. Those that ignore it to get ahead are massive jerks.

You’re entirely incorrect. This is one of those times where you’re calling other people jerks when in fact it’s you. We’ve all had them though!

RhaenysRocks · 13/10/2025 07:01

IndoorVoice · 12/10/2025 22:24

You’re technically doing the right thing by going right to the end though. Zipper merging cuts down the overall queue time when everyone does it. I get that it’s hard though when you know that people in the left lane are going to make it difficult.

In thirty years of driving I've never not been able to get in. Maybe one BMW driver will be a dick but I've literally never been sat there marooned at the end of a lane.

CinnamonJellyBeans · 13/10/2025 07:40

I think it depends on the speed and volume of traffic.

If everyone can merge into one lane seamlessly, in advance of the actual junction, traffic keeps flowing as you go thorugh the junction and I think that's what people generally try to do. In which case, flying past in RH lane is not helpful, as you then create a bottle neck.

If it's roadworks, or an accident, there's going to be a massive queue of slow moving traffic in both lanes and people should merge right up to the junction itself.

I only ever let one car in.

RhaenysRocks · 13/10/2025 07:43

But that's fine ..if everyone lets one car in you have a zipper merge.

daybeforetomorrow · 13/10/2025 11:24

No one has posted the Highway Code text to support their position.

I think some posters are cherry picking to support their behaviour, while others have got it right.

As a PP said, a sign telling drivers to move into a particular lane would make this crystal clear.

Rule 137
On a two-lane dual carriageway you should stay in the left-hand lane. Use the right-hand lane for overtaking or turning right. After overtaking, move back to the left-hand lane when it is safe to do so.

[So those on the left are correct, not sure if bombing down the clear lane at 90 to push in is covered by this, you'll have to decide for yourself]

Rule 134
You should follow the signs and road markings and get into the lane as directed. In congested road conditions do not change lanes unnecessarily. Merging in turn is recommended but only if safe and appropriate when vehicles are travelling at a very low speed, e.g. when approaching road works or a road traffic incident. It is not recommended at high speed.

brunettemic · 13/10/2025 11:32

Ah this again…I’m the ones who know how to drive and use both lanes.

ConnieHeart · 13/10/2025 11:34

daybeforetomorrow but the 1st paragraph does not relate to one of the lanes being closed further down. It could be the left hand lane that is closed, in which case the traffic would have to move over to the right. But as has been pointed out many times already, you can use both lanes and merge in turn when the lane closes. There is no "pushing in" involved

daybeforetomorrow · 13/10/2025 11:41

ConnieHeart · 13/10/2025 11:34

daybeforetomorrow but the 1st paragraph does not relate to one of the lanes being closed further down. It could be the left hand lane that is closed, in which case the traffic would have to move over to the right. But as has been pointed out many times already, you can use both lanes and merge in turn when the lane closes. There is no "pushing in" involved

Read it, you only merge at the restriction when the traffic is very slow, when it's not you don't, you merge earlier.

If there'a a sign to move over you merge then. People have been fined for ignoring the big red cross on the motorway gantry.

CloudSky · 13/10/2025 11:48

I was once coming through a set of lights on a 50mph road that changes from dual lane to single lane almost immediately after a set of traffic lights. I was in the perfectly legitimate outside lane at the lights, passed through the lights to where my lane merged into the left lane, and some utter dickhead in a white van actually beeped at me because I needed to merge per the road markings!

It’s unreal how low the driving standard is out there.

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 13/10/2025 11:57

It doesn’t seem to make sense you’re right op, but drivers are advised to merge when the lanes become one. It’s been proven as the most efficient way.

WindOfUserNameChange · 13/10/2025 11:59

You should use both lanes, merge and let others merge. If not you are increasing the length of the queue unnecessarily. Have you ever asked yourself why you are queuing? I mean queuing just for the heck of it is no virtue especially when it makes things worse for everybody.

WindOfUserNameChange · 13/10/2025 12:03

daybeforetomorrow · 13/10/2025 11:41

Read it, you only merge at the restriction when the traffic is very slow, when it's not you don't, you merge earlier.

If there'a a sign to move over you merge then. People have been fined for ignoring the big red cross on the motorway gantry.

Edited

But if traffic is not slow then it's not an issue, is it? When traffic is moving swiftly you obviously stay in the left lane where you are meant to be driving by default. It's only an issue when traffic is slow and people should be using both lanes.

ConnieHeart · 13/10/2025 12:09

daybeforetomorrow · 13/10/2025 11:41

Read it, you only merge at the restriction when the traffic is very slow, when it's not you don't, you merge earlier.

If there'a a sign to move over you merge then. People have been fined for ignoring the big red cross on the motorway gantry.

Edited

I've read it. Yes that's fine for your 2nd paragraph. For the 1st paragraph this does not refer to a lane being closed

Spirallingdownwards · 13/10/2025 13:40

I am an inbetweeny. I go part of the way down the emptier lane but merge before getting to the very end.

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