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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband acting strange

50 replies

northyolk · 12/10/2025 07:12

He works with around 10-15 other people and I was out somewhere and saw a woman with his work uniform on. She was with someone who was calling her by name let’s call her Lily.
I mentioned later on in chat that’s I saw someone he worked with and he pretended not to know who I was talking about so after an in depth description to jog his memory he vaguely says oh yeah she does work there.

He says her name is Claire, but I already know her name is not Claire so ask him why he said her name was Claire when she is called Lily.
He can’t give me an answer, only that he doesn’t know why he said that and it was a stupid thing to say and he’s sorry.
Why would he lie? Does this seem suspiciously odd to you?
I didn’t care what her name is but I don’t understand why he deliberately lied about her name.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 12/10/2025 07:15

Sounds suspicious. I wonder what Lily messages there are in his phone.

ForCraftyWriter · 12/10/2025 07:16

Yes it sounds strange. The wrong name thing makes the “searching his brains to think who she is” performance sound false as well

Sally2791 · 12/10/2025 07:19

Sounds suspicious. I would be doing some quiet investigations

KimberleyClark · 12/10/2025 07:21

I’m not sure I’d think anything of this. Perhaps there is a Claire at his work and he thought it was her from your description.

OneNewLeader · 12/10/2025 07:22

Why did you mention that you saw someone he worked with? Then cross examined him on their name, when you knew her name? Is there a backstory that might be relevant?

Original poster
northyolk · 12/10/2025 07:22

KimberleyClark · 12/10/2025 07:21

I’m not sure I’d think anything of this. Perhaps there is a Claire at his work and he thought it was her from your description.

No he knew exactly who I meant and has admitted he doesn’t know why he lied

OP posts:
QuirkyHorse · 12/10/2025 07:23

He fancies her.

Cluborange666 · 12/10/2025 07:27

Is she attractive?

Original poster
northyolk · 12/10/2025 07:30

Cluborange666 · 12/10/2025 07:27

Is she attractive?

I didn’t think she was or she wasn’t just an ordinary woman

OP posts:
Onemoreagainforluck · 12/10/2025 07:33

OneNewLeader · 12/10/2025 07:22

Why did you mention that you saw someone he worked with? Then cross examined him on their name, when you knew her name? Is there a backstory that might be relevant?

Mentioning that she saw someone he obviously works with is very normal behaviour and was obviously mentioned in casual conversation.

It's his reaction that was totally abnormal especially given he works with such a small workforce.

Why are you blaming OP for her H's strange behaviour when this woman was mentioned?

GreyCarpet · 12/10/2025 07:33

OneNewLeader · 12/10/2025 07:22

Why did you mention that you saw someone he worked with? Then cross examined him on their name, when you knew her name? Is there a backstory that might be relevant?

Seriously?

It was a completely normal conversation until he lied. If my partner lied, I'd question it too.

FarmGirl78 · 12/10/2025 07:35

OneNewLeader · 12/10/2025 07:22

Why did you mention that you saw someone he worked with? Then cross examined him on their name, when you knew her name? Is there a backstory that might be relevant?

I find the extent to which OP got involved in this a bit odd too. Maybe he said any name just to end the conversation and stop her going on. My Mum does this, goes on about irrelevant stuff to the nth degree and my Dads mission is always just to stop her talking so he can have peace and quiet and concentrate on whatever he's watching on TV.

Holliegee · 12/10/2025 07:35

you can either dig yourself into a pickle over this, or you can put it to the ne side-get on with life and see what,if anything comes of it.

its like you feel you need to pull this all apart for something that may never have been that interesting anyway.

cinquanta · 12/10/2025 07:37

It could be innocent. My husband gets everybody’s names mixed up, male and female. That’s if he can remember them at all.

At a work do an attractive woman started a conversation with my him. She seemed to know him quite well. I later asked who she was and he said he had no idea. He had been racking his brains during the entire conversation but couldn’t remember for the life of him.

I have no reason to doubt him. I worked with him. That is the way he is.

GreyCarpet · 12/10/2025 07:39

Onemoreagainforluck · 12/10/2025 07:33

Mentioning that she saw someone he obviously works with is very normal behaviour and was obviously mentioned in casual conversation.

It's his reaction that was totally abnormal especially given he works with such a small workforce.

Why are you blaming OP for her H's strange behaviour when this woman was mentioned?

Show quote history

Because there is a particular type of.poster who likes ro.do that. Come on to threads and ridicule and dismiss the OP.

It's a type of trolling.

Crunchymum · 12/10/2025 07:42

OneNewLeader · 12/10/2025 07:22

Why did you mention that you saw someone he worked with? Then cross examined him on their name, when you knew her name? Is there a backstory that might be relevant?

This is also my question.

On the face of it the overzealous questioning, the not believing him, the assumption he is lying and something isn't right etc is not normal at all.

So there is a back story somewhere. Is he the one with a history or is the OP like this with every woman her husband may have some contact with hence not feeling comfortable to tell the truth?

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 12/10/2025 07:52

I think you may be onto something here.

It is very similar to how Clark Kent was unmasked as Superman whilst pretending to work as a journalist at the Daily Planet.

Silverbirchleaf · 12/10/2025 07:54

Is he good with names? My dh is always getting names muddled.

Onemoreagainforluck · 12/10/2025 07:55

FarmGirl78 · 12/10/2025 07:35

I find the extent to which OP got involved in this a bit odd too. Maybe he said any name just to end the conversation and stop her going on. My Mum does this, goes on about irrelevant stuff to the nth degree and my Dads mission is always just to stop her talking so he can have peace and quiet and concentrate on whatever he's watching on TV.

Show quote history

Well i feel sorry for your Mum if your Dad prefers watching the tv and expects her to sit in silence while he does it. She sounds as though she wants normal human interaction with the man who she sharez her life with.. Him just trying to shut her down when she wants to talk to him sounds really unpleasant.

Qwertyop · 12/10/2025 07:59

But surely the conversation would have gone.

”I saw someone you work with, called Lilly”

not

”I saw someone you work with, 5ft5, dark hair, brown eyes, average build, glasses”

Why on earth would you describe someone, rather than just say what you know their name is. It makes no sense.

JetFlight · 12/10/2025 08:00

If you feel suspicious then usually it’s because it is suspicious. We have a gut instinct and pick up on body language, tone of voice, language used and it sounds like your gut instinct is telling you something.

HannahHamptonsGloves · 12/10/2025 08:03

Crunchymum · 12/10/2025 07:42

This is also my question.

On the face of it the overzealous questioning, the not believing him, the assumption he is lying and something isn't right etc is not normal at all.

So there is a back story somewhere. Is he the one with a history or is the OP like this with every woman her husband may have some contact with hence not feeling comfortable to tell the truth?

Show quote history

What over zealous questioning? It sounds like it started as a very normal conversation where OP mentions to her husband she's seen someone from his work while out and about. Describes said person, OP's husband pretends not to know who it is, eventually agrees he does know and then weirdly calls her by a different name. OP, understandably, says that's not her name and husband agrees and admits to lying. Where is the over zealous bit?

Roseshavethorns · 12/10/2025 08:23

Why didn't you just say "I saw Lilly from your work today"? That would surely have made it easier for him to know who you were talking about.
Your whole discussion sounds a bit odd.

MCF86 · 12/10/2025 08:28

I agree it is a bit weird that you didn't just say "I saw someone from your work today, Lilly, do you know her?"
Although unless I'd had a conversation with her I'm not sure I would think to mention it in the first place. So my first thought was "was OP already suspicious" and there might be a backstory around how he's behaved recently, or that he's mentioned LIly a bit too much or something.

Kimura · 12/10/2025 08:34

So you saw someone wearing the same work uniform as your husband, and overheard their name.

You later told your husband that you'd seen one of his colleagues, but instead of telling him who it was, you decided to make him guess from a physical description. Why?

Unless you're an avid Guess Who player this is very odd behavior.

Your husband shouldn't have lied about her name obviously (assuming that's what happened), but if this is how you behave whenever you see a woman he's been in contact with, I can understand him flapping and blurting something out to end the conversation.