Pulled over by police

[NotAScoobyDoo2]

I'm posting here for traffic more than anything. I'm just wondering what other people think of this and whether it's something they've experienced, if they've been pulled over.

A few months ago, I was driving home from hospital, visiting a relative - it had been quite a long day so although I was trying desperately to concentrate, I was a bit tired. I also had my 11 yo son in the car with me.

About halfway home, I noticed a Police car behind me - I hadn’t realised my speed was creeping up and when he pulled me over, I was doing 75. I got out of the car, on the hard shoulder of the motorway. When I got out, he told me the speed I was going and asked me to follow him. He drove about 15/20 minutes to a completely abandoned car park in what felt like the middle of the Surrey hills. When I got there it was starting to get dark.

I started to feel a bit weird about the whole thing. I got out of my car and the officer that pulled me over told me to get into his car so he could show me footage of my driving. I asked him if he was joking and said absolutely no way am I getting into anyone's car. He then asked me to lean in so he could show me my driving. When he replayed it, he started back pedalling really quickly by saying actually, "it's not as bad as I thought and maybe you should just go home and read the highway code". It's been bothering me ever since. Every time, I read about the Sarah Everard case, this occasion comes to mind. I just want to know if he was being unprofessional or whether I was being over cautious. I'm a single woman and feel vulnerable at the best of times.

He could easily have thought you were alone, but when you got to this car park he realised you had a kid with you and he thought better of whatever seedy thing he was planning.

It doesn't really make sense for him to pull you over then change his mind that your driving was breaching some by law or other.

If it was legit he'd have just asked you to get out at the hard shoulder surely?

Surely any police officer would look in the car to see who else was in? An 11 yr old would be in the front and perfectly visible.

No, I meant what I said, that's why I mentioned those motorways, they don't have junctions that far apart that would be close to the Surrey Hills.

For not wanting to get into his car in the middle of a darkened deserted car park ? You might want to think about that .

I'm not sure what your point is.

Driving for 15-20 minutes to make 'enquires' of the OP is a red flag. Anything that needs to be done is done at the roadside.

Yeah, I guess so. If he knew the kid was there then there's less chance he was dodgy. It's just the remote place he made her go to and then asking her to get in the car. I doubt many women would feel safe in that situation.

I doubt many women would be so compliant and follow a police car that far.

I was originally replying to a PP who seemed to be suggesting that a 20 min drive might be fine because the next junction could be 15 miles so the extra time to the car park was only a few minutes. The point I was trying to make was simply that no, junctions aren't that far apart on Surrey motorways. I don't think you and I are disagreeing!

Yeah, fair point. It seems a little odd. I guess if I'd never been pulled before I might just blindly follow without thinking.

Your post actually makes me quite cross as nobody is saying all police are dangerous. There are bad apples, regardless of which force they are in and there have been plenty of instances of police officers across the country behaving in appalling and unsafe ways towards women when on duty.

Body and dash cams are meaningless as they can be very easily turned off.

Any decent police officer will have listened to their training on matters like these and will have no issue whatsoever with a lone female wanting to verify their ID with control or drive to a public place or police station before getting into their vehicle.

Don’t put vulnerable people (lone women) at risk by insisting they ignore their instincts and just do what they’re told by random men.

75 on your speedo is likely to be 69-71 on a calibrated speed machine. This makes him pulling you over more suspect. I'd report.

I think a lot would, which is why police are able to get away with doing dodgy things because people have been trained to blindly obey them, even if something doesn’t feel right. We’ve already had one poster on this thread come along to try and tell people off for exercising caution when stopped by a lone male at night.

They can certainly be 15 minutes apart on the M3 to Dartford section and I can think of a few open carparks a few minutes off a junction

Having seen one of the OP’s previous posts I’m not surprised that she is suspicious of this behaviour. It certainly seems very peculiar to me.

There's no way I would go anywhere alone with a male police officer particularly at night, there are so many reports of inappropriate behaviour.

I can't believe you just asked that!!

I wasn't trying to be helpful, or give advice, i just wondered why she hadn't done the obvious things as the incident wasn't recent.

I thought since the Sarah Everard murder, the police were supposed to work in pairs if they stopped or arrested alone female?

That's not a protection for women either.

YANBU. Definitely report it. Not all Police Officers are trustworthy. You were right for being cautious.

I know that but my point was that it was a warning sign that his behaviour was suspicious.

Just googled it and junctions can be ten miles or more apart so depends on the motorway and which junctions but possible.

It’s not uncommon for police to put a ‘follow me’ light on and get you off the motorway to speak to you safely, however your description of the rest of the interaction left me feeling uncomfortable. As previous posters have pointed out you are able to call the police to check the validity of an officer. I think you were well within your rights to have responded how you did. I think I may have panicked and done as I was asked in your shoes - you have definitely made me think!!

Don’t say it’s Surrey Police who have better standards etc, one of the Police in the recent programme had transferred to ?Gloucestershire Police? and passed whatever interviews they gave him.

And the people minimising OP? ‘Really, are you sure?’ ‘You are mistaken, you were obviously tired’ etc - how utterly patronising.

And @Simplyrewarding who asked if OP had ever suffered a serious sexual assault - why? What is your reason for asking such a personal question of a complete stranger? That was such an inappropriate question.

And lastly, I used to travel on many motorways and can say there are many very lonely areas and junctions with not much going on, leading to industrial areas with no one around late at night.

I am not in law enforcement, but my DH is. I mentioned to him about calling to verify the person pulling you over is legitimate, and he said that when he was on the road, it happened fairly regularly.