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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pulled over by police

127 replies

NotAScoobyDoo2 · 11/10/2025 22:22

I'm posting here for traffic more than anything. I'm just wondering what other people think of this and whether it's something they've experienced, if they've been pulled over.

A few months ago, I was driving home from hospital, visiting a relative - it had been quite a long day so although I was trying desperately to concentrate, I was a bit tired. I also had my 11 yo son in the car with me.

About halfway home, I noticed a Police car behind me - I hadn’t realised my speed was creeping up and when he pulled me over, I was doing 75. I got out of the car, on the hard shoulder of the motorway. When I got out, he told me the speed I was going and asked me to follow him. He drove about 15/20 minutes to a completely abandoned car park in what felt like the middle of the Surrey hills. When I got there it was starting to get dark.

I started to feel a bit weird about the whole thing. I got out of my car and the officer that pulled me over told me to get into his car so he could show me footage of my driving. I asked him if he was joking and said absolutely no way am I getting into anyone's car. He then asked me to lean in so he could show me my driving. When he replayed it, he started back pedalling really quickly by saying actually, "it's not as bad as I thought and maybe you should just go home and read the highway code". It's been bothering me ever since. Every time, I read about the Sarah Everard case, this occasion comes to mind. I just want to know if he was being unprofessional or whether I was being over cautious. I'm a single woman and feel vulnerable at the best of times.

OP posts:
pinkstripeycat · 12/10/2025 07:58

All police cars are tracked. If you are bothered complain but you’ll fine he did nothing wrong.

kkloo · 12/10/2025 07:58

RubySquid · 12/10/2025 02:59

It's quite normal if they pull you over to sit in the back of there ar to see video, gie details etc.

They must've thought u were some crazy woman lol

Show quote history

It actually sounds more like the officer realised when she appeared to be freaked out that he probably did freak her out, and that hopefully he'll do things differently in future.

Ophy83 · 12/10/2025 08:01

Leaving aside the later behaviour, did he instruct you to stop on the hard shoulder? That's extremely unsafe, particularly with a child in the car (google life expectancy on the hard shoulder).

I think you are allowed to carry on driving until you are somewhere you deem to be safe - slow down and signal you have seen them they carry on to the nearest exit or services.

IShouldNotCoco · 12/10/2025 08:03

R0ckandHardPlace · 11/10/2025 23:15

I had similar years ago. I wasn’t speeding but was pulled over on the street on suspicion of drink driving. The policeman was on his own and asked me to get into his car, on a deserted road. I refused, and eventually he let me do a breath test without getting into the car. It was clear so he let me go, but it was very scary and I felt extremely vulnerable.

I wouldn’t mind but there was nothing wrong with my driving. He said my eyes looked ‘glassy’ when I came out of a shop and got into my car which felt like an excuse to me. If he thought I looked like I was drunk why did he follow me for two miles before pulling me over? There are definitely some wrong’uns on the force.

A very similar thing happened to me, as well.

Strawberryorangejuice · 12/10/2025 08:06

I know the general area you are talking about. Where exactly were you pulled over and where did he take you to? With the works on the M25/A3 it's possible it took longer and/or the nearest place to take you was further away than he anticipated. I agree it sounds odd.

Serencwtch · 12/10/2025 08:10

Surrey Police are not the met, they actually have a very good reputation and strong professional standards.

I know several officers who work for surrey & Sussex RPU ( who are likely to be the unit who pulled you over)

Firstly you were exceeding a motorway speed limit with a child in the car right in front of them so they had to pull you over & speak to you.

You could have been fined & given points but they gave you the option of having words of advice instead. You could have refused this & opted for the fine & points instead.

The officer will have had body worn camera on the whole time & will also have dash cam on the vehicle. Everything both of you said & did will have been recorded at all times.

A quick email or contact form on their website would have confirmed this.

These posts actually make me quite cross as it fuels fear & hatred towards the police & actively deters the most vulnerable people from contacting the police.

Yes they were damn right in stopping a speeding driver but accept fault & move on. Yes it's normal to feel embarrassed & fearful when caught by police doing something wrong. It was your fault & not the police. Don't put vulnerable people at risk by stoking fear.

I've had many contacts with Surrey Police personally & through work with a charity. The ones I have met are the kindest, caring and hard working people you could meet. Any problems are dealt with quickly by Professional standards.

TheCurious0range · 12/10/2025 08:12

SatsumaDog · 12/10/2025 07:45

If everything you have said is completely accurate, I would report. Asking you to leave the motorway and taking you to a deserted car park is extremely odd. Asking you to get into the police car is fairly standard, but not the other stuff.

It's not odd especially since the death of tamzin hall. Police guidance does change.
The advice is if it's safe to do and you don't think there is a flight risk, to ask the driver to follow you to the nearest off motorway safe space to get out of the car

TheCurious0range · 12/10/2025 08:14

Serencwtch · 12/10/2025 08:10

Surrey Police are not the met, they actually have a very good reputation and strong professional standards.

I know several officers who work for surrey & Sussex RPU ( who are likely to be the unit who pulled you over)

Firstly you were exceeding a motorway speed limit with a child in the car right in front of them so they had to pull you over & speak to you.

You could have been fined & given points but they gave you the option of having words of advice instead. You could have refused this & opted for the fine & points instead.

The officer will have had body worn camera on the whole time & will also have dash cam on the vehicle. Everything both of you said & did will have been recorded at all times.

A quick email or contact form on their website would have confirmed this.

These posts actually make me quite cross as it fuels fear & hatred towards the police & actively deters the most vulnerable people from contacting the police.

Yes they were damn right in stopping a speeding driver but accept fault & move on. Yes it's normal to feel embarrassed & fearful when caught by police doing something wrong. It was your fault & not the police. Don't put vulnerable people at risk by stoking fear.

I've had many contacts with Surrey Police personally & through work with a charity. The ones I have met are the kindest, caring and hard working people you could meet. Any problems are dealt with quickly by Professional standards.

I work with several forces in the east of England and have the same experiences as you. You will get the odd awful person in the police, you will find them in all professions but most are in it for completely moral reasons and put themselves at risk to uphold the law on a daily basis.

Myblueclematis · 12/10/2025 08:15

I've been stopped twice in the past, both times was 3am ish, I worked late shifts so was on my way home.

I wasn't asked to get out of the car on either occasion, spoken to through the window. One occasion was around Christmas so they were probably stopping other drivers, the other I was almost home when a police car appeared out of nowhere and said I was doing 40mph in 30 mph area. I really didn't think I was but wasn't going to argue.

Said he'd let me off and to watch my speed.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 12/10/2025 08:18

Extremely rare to be stopped on a U.K. motorway for 75. 85 or more, yes.

I’ve only been stopped once, and that was because I was doing well over 80 late at night, and hadn’t even noticed a police car flashing lights behind me. I’d just been to visit my terminally ill father in hospital - mind elsewhere - so when a policewoman opened my car door and started shouting at me, I just burst into tears.

They were very nice in the end, no points, nothing.

Clonakilla · 12/10/2025 08:20

Interesting to see how many women think it’s ‘hyperbole’ or ‘overly dramatic’. It didn’t appear that way to me……but I’m not crippled by misogyny.

I go most places alone and certainly would not get into the car or follow to an isolated place. I would be an absolute fool to do so given what we know about the police.

I find it very very strange that after all that he didn’t pursue the speeding issue when you were clearly over. It’s a no-brainer, surely.

Absolutely report this OP and ask for advice on what to do should this situation arise again. The suggestion to agree to follow to a police station seems wise.

Cailin66 · 12/10/2025 08:24

YaWeeFurryBastard · 11/10/2025 22:33

Sounds dodgy, I can understand why you were creeped out.

If you feel unsafe with a lone male police officer you can remain in your vehicle and phone 999 to get them to verify that the officer is legit. Just say “as a lone female please allow me to verify this is a genuine stop with the police control centre, I’m going to remain in my vehicle and call 999 to do this if you could please provide me with your ID through the window, alternatively I’m happy to follow you to the nearest station”.

This is the best advice on here. I will use this to inform other women.

It’s shocking how many women on here don’t believe the OP. Always trust your instincts.

Ponoka7 · 12/10/2025 08:27

Serencwtch · 12/10/2025 08:10

Surrey Police are not the met, they actually have a very good reputation and strong professional standards.

I know several officers who work for surrey & Sussex RPU ( who are likely to be the unit who pulled you over)

Firstly you were exceeding a motorway speed limit with a child in the car right in front of them so they had to pull you over & speak to you.

You could have been fined & given points but they gave you the option of having words of advice instead. You could have refused this & opted for the fine & points instead.

The officer will have had body worn camera on the whole time & will also have dash cam on the vehicle. Everything both of you said & did will have been recorded at all times.

A quick email or contact form on their website would have confirmed this.

These posts actually make me quite cross as it fuels fear & hatred towards the police & actively deters the most vulnerable people from contacting the police.

Yes they were damn right in stopping a speeding driver but accept fault & move on. Yes it's normal to feel embarrassed & fearful when caught by police doing something wrong. It was your fault & not the police. Don't put vulnerable people at risk by stoking fear.

I've had many contacts with Surrey Police personally & through work with a charity. The ones I have met are the kindest, caring and hard working people you could meet. Any problems are dealt with quickly by Professional standards.

There's still issues. A lot of the Police Officers who gave been charged with gross misconduct, are still working (as you'll see) they tend to just get cleverer and pick their victims better. You are very naive if you think by meeting someone, particularly men, you know what they are like, one-to-one, with someone more vulnerable than them. That pov stops the wives of police officers, who are being subjected to domestic abuse, speaking out.
https://www.surrey.police.uk/search/GetPaginatedResults/?q=misconduct%20meetings&page=1

Throwntothewolves · 12/10/2025 08:32

Once many years ago, when DH was my boyfriend, I was driving home on country roads at night when the Police came up behind me and put the blue lights on. I didn't stop right away, instead continuing to the nearest town to do so, all the time thinking I would be in trouble for it. They were respectful of my decision and apologetic for worrying me.
Turns out they were looking for a man who drove the same type of car. It didn't occur to them that it was a woman in the car or they wouldn't have tried to stop me in the middle of nowhere.

OP I'd report your concern to the Police. That officer need some training.

Mogwais · 12/10/2025 08:34

spoonbillstretford · 12/10/2025 03:08

I'd never pull over for the police when driving alone other than in a highly visible public place as I don't trust them at all. I'd rather risk defending my actions in court if necessary than compromising my personal safety.

Edited

Totally agree!

Puzzledtoday · 12/10/2025 08:35

@NotAScoobyDoo2Lots of thoughts and questions here OP but no responses from you. What do you make of it all?

Ratafia · 12/10/2025 08:35

TheCurious0range · 12/10/2025 08:12

It's not odd especially since the death of tamzin hall. Police guidance does change.
The advice is if it's safe to do and you don't think there is a flight risk, to ask the driver to follow you to the nearest off motorway safe space to get out of the car

Show quote history

Then police need to realise that taking a lone female to a deserted car park is not taking her to a safe space.

TempyBrennan · 12/10/2025 08:35

Swiftie1878 · 11/10/2025 22:33

If what you are saying is the full truth, then definitely report it.
If you have had an unpleasant experience and are exaggerating for effect, put it down as a close shave, and you got away with speeding.

This!
if you genuinely really did drive another 20 minutes following this person (why?) and aren’t over egging the pudding for dramatic effect, then definitely report it.

Greengagesnfennel · 12/10/2025 08:37

Remember the everard case was in off duty. If he is on duty in his car there will be his dash cam footage and the one on his uniform recording everything. So, if you have any doubts you can ask them to look through the event.

I don’t think it sounds unusual to drive to a safe place to stop, but 15min and a deserted carpark is very odd. If you were tired (you say you were) it might have been how long it took you to realise you had a police car behind you, that made him wonder if you were safe driving (not the speed).

GlomOfNit · 12/10/2025 08:39

Serencwtch · 12/10/2025 08:10

Surrey Police are not the met, they actually have a very good reputation and strong professional standards.

I know several officers who work for surrey & Sussex RPU ( who are likely to be the unit who pulled you over)

Firstly you were exceeding a motorway speed limit with a child in the car right in front of them so they had to pull you over & speak to you.

You could have been fined & given points but they gave you the option of having words of advice instead. You could have refused this & opted for the fine & points instead.

The officer will have had body worn camera on the whole time & will also have dash cam on the vehicle. Everything both of you said & did will have been recorded at all times.

A quick email or contact form on their website would have confirmed this.

These posts actually make me quite cross as it fuels fear & hatred towards the police & actively deters the most vulnerable people from contacting the police.

Yes they were damn right in stopping a speeding driver but accept fault & move on. Yes it's normal to feel embarrassed & fearful when caught by police doing something wrong. It was your fault & not the police. Don't put vulnerable people at risk by stoking fear.

I've had many contacts with Surrey Police personally & through work with a charity. The ones I have met are the kindest, caring and hard working people you could meet. Any problems are dealt with quickly by Professional standards.

Oh ok - in her situation, feeling particularly vulnerable as a lone female driver and it's getting dark, do you think you'd weigh up the chances of encountering a wrong'un in a more reputable police force, than if you were in a Met area? Or would you think - hmm. I'm on my own (saving the 11 year old in the back whom I obviously want to protect), this cop is on his own, and given the events and exposure of the last few years, I don't feel safe?

Please. OP acted sensibly and rationally, given what we all know now. Any decent police officer would not have asked a lone female to get into their car, if they were working on their own. Just as any decent man out at night won't walk close behind a lone woman. A decent and good police officer won't object to a woman exercising her own boundaries and safeguarding, asking for ID or phoning though to the police - in fact in this scenario he should have suggested she do just that. A good police officer wouldn't have made a lone female driver follow him to a deserted car park in the middle of nowhere - why not go to the closest police station?

OP, I believe you and have no idea why so many posters here think this is hyperbole. I find it all too believable. At best, it was a massively thoughtless police officer. At worst, god knows. Your account certainly made my blood run cold. I hope if this ever happens to me, I'll have your presence of mind and not be bullied into doing something unsafe.

(also - pulled over for 75 on a motorway??)

ReplacementBusService · 12/10/2025 08:39

Serencwtch · 12/10/2025 08:10

Surrey Police are not the met, they actually have a very good reputation and strong professional standards.

I know several officers who work for surrey & Sussex RPU ( who are likely to be the unit who pulled you over)

Firstly you were exceeding a motorway speed limit with a child in the car right in front of them so they had to pull you over & speak to you.

You could have been fined & given points but they gave you the option of having words of advice instead. You could have refused this & opted for the fine & points instead.

The officer will have had body worn camera on the whole time & will also have dash cam on the vehicle. Everything both of you said & did will have been recorded at all times.

A quick email or contact form on their website would have confirmed this.

These posts actually make me quite cross as it fuels fear & hatred towards the police & actively deters the most vulnerable people from contacting the police.

Yes they were damn right in stopping a speeding driver but accept fault & move on. Yes it's normal to feel embarrassed & fearful when caught by police doing something wrong. It was your fault & not the police. Don't put vulnerable people at risk by stoking fear.

I've had many contacts with Surrey Police personally & through work with a charity. The ones I have met are the kindest, caring and hard working people you could meet. Any problems are dealt with quickly by Professional standards.

I'm sorry, but not all officers are rosy. It's great to hear there are lots of fine and upstanding officers in Surrey.

Unfortunately, having seen enough police officers behave repugnantly my first gut instinct is not to trust any of them. I would find the situation OP describes terrifying, although acknowledge it might well have been entirely reasonable behavior because she was speeding. Apologies and thanks to all the decent officers out there.

Notmyreality · 12/10/2025 08:46

It would be very rare to get pulled over doing 75mph on a motorway.
Perfectly common to be asked to move from the hard shoulder to a safer area as they are incredibly dangerous.
When people say 15-20mins it demonstrates they have an incredibly bad ability to estimate time. More than likely it was 2-3 mins if it happened at all.
It happened 3 months ago and only now are
you feeling the need to “tell all”.
OP hasn’t been back to the thread.
Says it all really.

Empress13 · 12/10/2025 08:48

You were right to trust your instincts OP but think very carefully before reporting your story must 💯 add up with timelines etc

Empress13 · 12/10/2025 08:49

Notmyreality · 12/10/2025 08:46

It would be very rare to get pulled over doing 75mph on a motorway.
Perfectly common to be asked to move from the hard shoulder to a safer area as they are incredibly dangerous.
When people say 15-20mins it demonstrates they have an incredibly bad ability to estimate time. More than likely it was 2-3 mins if it happened at all.
It happened 3 months ago and only now are
you feeling the need to “tell all”.
OP hasn’t been back to the thread.
Says it all really.

And yes why wait months to report this ? …. 😋

ReplacementBusService · 12/10/2025 08:51

Empress13 · 12/10/2025 08:49

And yes why wait months to report this ? …. 😋

Show quote history

Fear?