To think that "common sense" isn't as common as people believe?

[SorcererGaheris]

This is inspired by the thread about the restaurant offered a free (birthday) meal as long as five people were dining - which turned out only applied to five ADULTS, but according to the OP it wasn't specified that it only applied to adults.

Many people are saying that it's "common sense" that such an offer would apply only to adults and some are questioning the intelligence of anyone who wouldn't realise that.

I commented that it would not have occurred to me that such an offer only applied to adults dining and a couple of people have been a little critical of me for that. Because apparently it's "common sense."

Well, maybe I lack common sense. My mother has often told me that I have none.

So my point is - surely so-called "common sense" isn't actually as common as many people believe it is?

People's minds work differently, people understand things differently. People who are neurodiverse sometimes take wording very, very literally and can sometimes need things spelled out to them that would seem obvious to others (I am autistic myself.)

I do find it unfair when people insult/mock or imply that someone is lacking in intelligence for not having "common sense". That doesn't make them stupid, it just means that their minds aren't connecting the dots in the same way that other people do.

I'm not sure that "common sense" should be as much of an expectation as it seems to be.

I also wouldn't realise that it only applies to adults. I often don't read the T's and C's at a restaurant because it's too much for me to focus on and I have trouble comprehending big blocks of text, which makes my "common sense" even less common for me to have

If it only applies to adults, then the offer should say adults and not people. I would say I generally have plenty of common sense and I wouldn't think that babies and small DC count, but what about teens? My teens eat far more than I do!

I can understand why people might think that certain things "go without saying" - but they don't "go without saying" to everyone.

There seems to be a lack of tolerance and respect for those of us who don't share this "common sense".

I think people get very snobby about 'common sense' without understanding that there are a myriad of reasons why someone might appear not to have any, and whats not talked about is that some people grow up being told asking lots of questions is rude, and not having parents who included them in practical matters around the house. I think of it often when people talk about 'kids need to focus on studies and play not chores' because I think a lot of practical household stuff encourages asking questions, problem solving, planning, research - all the things 'common sense' ends up looking like.

In your example, I think it's an understandable mistake to make - it's not as if the OP has come across the situation lots of times before and keeps forgetting or making the same mistake. A bit of thought would have told her that the offer has to make financial sense for the restaurant so babies who only have small meals probably wouldn't count, but isn't a huge failing not to put much thought into something like that and the restaurant should have been clearer for their own benefit.

In terms of 'common sense' what frustrates me is when someone fucks something up because they don't put any effort into thinking things through, usually because they expect others to do the thinking for them.

@AgDulAmach

Yes, I think that's fair. Life is a learning experience, so if people repeatedly come across the same scenarios and haven't learned anything previously (I'm excluding people with complex neurodiversity/disabilities) then it's probably appropriate to question that.

But first-time experiences where people misunderstand? That's very different.

It's not an offer that I've seen much so I wouldn't consider this an example of lacking common sense because it doesn't sound like a very common occurrence.

Although inspired by the thread in question, this is also about the idea of common sense generally.

There's this expectation that everyone shares this common sense, or the same amount of it, and this just isn't the case for everyone.

Basically, common sense can't really be presumed - but it often is.

I think for things that are more common or universal experiences you can expect more. Things like if you go out in the rain with no coat or umbrella you'll definitely get wet, that's the same for everyone. I'd call that common sense.

Different systems in a restaurant that some people will be very familiar with while another person has never encountered it then no, not common sense.

I think what made it obvious and so 'common sense' was that the toddler meal was only £5. No restaurant would be able to cover the cost of the free meal if their offer included other very cheap meals. I often lack common sense though so it might not have occurred to me either if it wasn't made clear.

Agree with pp that common sense doesn’t fit that example. However, it reminds me of the one where a woman wanted the kids eat free deal for her teen son and was then annoyed he had to eat from the kids menu!

Also agree that a lot of people don’t have common sense and a lot of people don’t seem to u destined cause and effect. Which is fine unless they then get angry or complain over something that was entirely of their own making

I don’t think it’s common sense - I think it’s more the adage ‘if it looks too good to be true it probably is’

ti me that is different to common sense, it’s about seeing something and really thinking through why you are being offered it.

@Bruisername

Also agree that a lot of people don’t have common sense and a lot of people don’t seem to u destined cause and effect. Which is fine unless they then get angry or complain over something that was entirely of their own making

That's fair, but I also think that other people should be more understanding and tolerant of those of us that don't have (or are perceived not to have) common sense.

Calling someone stupid simply because they don't understand something that you (universal you, not you personally) think you should be obvious is unkind.

Common sense showed that 5 x £5 toddker meals equals £25, why would you expect to get £30 off your bill? So yes yabu and lack common sense.

Working with the general public for the past 20 years its actually shocking

@tripleginandtonic

While inspired by that issue, this thread is more meant to be about the idea of common sense in general - that common sense isn't as common as people think it is.

The fact that you think I (or the OP of the other thread) lack common sense kind of proves my point.

So-called "common sense" isn't as common as many people believe, if people like me don't have it. I won't be the only one.

I think I’m going to need some more examples of what you mean tbh

I know some incredibly intelligent people who have zero common sense and seem completely bewildered in the world so I don’t think it is about being stupid. But there are also a lot of people who are so wrapped up in themself that they don’t think they need to use the brain space to think things through that the rest of us do and then don’t mess up! It sometimes feels like weaponised incompetence

It takes shared culture for something to be common sense.

My son and I are both intelligent - he particularly so - but neither of us has common sense. We don't seem to see the obvious that other people do.

I remember being at work and a member oc staff commenting, regarding something to do with kids' nativity costumes, "How thick are some people if they can't work that out" but I hadn't seen what she meant.

ime, anyone who uses the term "common sense" just wants to have a rant at people who annoyed them. That is the only reason the words are ever invoked.

I agree. You hear it a lot at work when it's usually some sort of process hasn't been explained or communicated clearly.

I think people are so isolated from the realities of life now, even though they think they're living a real genuine life, with all the hardships they think they endure, and some really do - that they have lost common sense

These people are the reason we have packets of nuts with a disclaimer on the front saying 'may contain nuts'

Its nuts

Using ND as a reason to cite why common sense is not common sense answers your question anyway OP, ND is a deviation from the way the brain processes information/social communication processing disorder, so of course someone with ND may not understand things that are 'common sense'.

Given that is a small portion of the population, then common sense as a concept is not flawed.

People just dont think. Or they have magical thinking and dont put the bits together to work out how something would apply or work. The birthday meal thread was an example of that. We have this at work where we work with a vulnerable client group and its painful having to go through each step, backwards and forwards, because sometimes in life you have to work something out by going to the end goal and working backwards as to how that would be achieved. Asking in sessions, and then what would happen, and then what would happen, and then what would happen and how would you do that bit and how would you do that bit

Over and over again

Im not sure the general population is that different either.

When people talk about common sense they generally mean "Things that I find to be obvious"

But the all you can eat price was £30, op paid £5 for a child's meal and expected the discount to apply so yes, I would say that is lacking in common sense. I assume your teens would not be ordering the £5 child's portion.

also what people think is 'common sense' changes over time, and thus can vary between age groups, same as what is easy/hard, achievable/out of touch.

for example things my nan could do with her eyes closed like darning a sock/crocheting baby socks etc. I would a) have to go out and buy all the stuff b)need a youtube tutorial c) would take several hours and d) would still look shit. Whereas I could easily do something like use an excel spreadsheet or cast from my phone to the TV that she wouldn't even try.

(before I get shouted at by a poster who is 82 and invented coding - I'm using those examples as a generalisation for generational differences - I actually can knit etc to a decent level but most of my friends/siblings couldn't - same applies vice versa in that obviously lots of older people are better with tech than their DGC).

and of course generational/age difference can be replaced with anything else. If you live in the UK it's 'common sense' that the bus stop you will be picked up from will be on the side of the road the traffic drives on, so on the left - if you live in a country (i.e. the vast majority of the world) where you drive on the right, that won't be obvious.