To think that "common sense" isn't as common as people believe?

[SorcererGaheris]

This is inspired by the thread about the restaurant offered a free (birthday) meal as long as five people were dining - which turned out only applied to five ADULTS, but according to the OP it wasn't specified that it only applied to adults.

Many people are saying that it's "common sense" that such an offer would apply only to adults and some are questioning the intelligence of anyone who wouldn't realise that.

I commented that it would not have occurred to me that such an offer only applied to adults dining and a couple of people have been a little critical of me for that. Because apparently it's "common sense."

Well, maybe I lack common sense. My mother has often told me that I have none.

So my point is - surely so-called "common sense" isn't actually as common as many people believe it is?

People's minds work differently, people understand things differently. People who are neurodiverse sometimes take wording very, very literally and can sometimes need things spelled out to them that would seem obvious to others (I am autistic myself.)

I do find it unfair when people insult/mock or imply that someone is lacking in intelligence for not having "common sense". That doesn't make them stupid, it just means that their minds aren't connecting the dots in the same way that other people do.

I'm not sure that "common sense" should be as much of an expectation as it seems to be.

I think having common sense and being intelligent are too different things . Some people have both , some people one or the other .

I think I absolutely share your lack of "common sense", and I realise this on almost a daily basis, but it's called 'common' because that's exactly what it is. I just don't really have it 😂

As an autistic person I absolutely agree with you. A lot of what people call common sense seems to me like lazy thinking. Just some culturally ingrained stuff they have never questioned. Usually it makes zero logical sense. Just a bunch of assumptions where they've assumed everyone is exactly the same as them.
Drives me nuts.
Why cant people just be clear and say what they mean?
For example if they meant "5 adults" they should have said exactly that not just assumed that's what everyone would think.

"Always check whether a special offer is valid before trying to use it for a birthday meal" is my version of what equates to common sense.

its about thinking through cause and effect, what are the consequences of your actions etc. this is critical thinking, and something they should teach in schools.

I try hard not to over-judge people - quite frankly it's NMP not my problem, and I don't have the energy to be bothered, I've got enough to think about trying to keep my own life on the rails 🤭

'Common sense' is often just intended to criticise people for either a) mistakes or b) differences.

Common sense is not very useful, I think best practice is a better thing to aim for when making decisions.

Humans are incredibly diverse. You could say it's just common sense to accept there's always been and always will be a wide range of 'basic understanding' and thinking.

It's also common sense to understand this This is why we teach children from a very young age about what happens if you do B without doing A first, what things are dangerous and why, and so forth. varies widely too.

Did nobody teach you? nobody gets taught common sense, it's the stuff you're just supposed to know without needing to be told. It's a very outdated viewpoint to think people should approach things in the same way.

Using the example in that thread, the common sense part comes from the fact that it was a buffet restaurant that offered separate small dishes for young children.

It wasn't about 'dining' numbers or young children, it was about how many people paid for a buffett. If only 4 people had a buffett, the criteria wasn't met. That should have been common sense. No different than if five adults had gone in, and one of them just asked for water.

I can certainly appreciate how someone with autism or similar might take certain things too literally, or how someone faced with an entirely new set of circumstances might not be aware of the 'done thing'.

But to me, a lack of common sense applies when someone fails to grasp something they should be well aware and capable o.

I learnt most of my commons sense from my parents it was ultimately up to them teach me same as I am doing as a parent

It is scary how little some people have and they raise the next generation not to thinl either, somw peoplw live very small lives sometimes only living in one very small area there is a big wife world put there with lots of learning and effort we can put into learning the way the world works if we also put thr effort

Maybe not the same but there are families who try and keep their children having very isolated ans unintelligent lives because to quote what I was told many years ago 'so they dont get above their station' so what hope do some children have

I am sure there are teachers who can tell us what they think some children need to grow up be fully functioning members of society able to think for themselves

I think common sense is what you acquire as you go through life. I used to post on a forum that was mainly Americans planning holidays in Europe, often they would do a 'trip report' when they got back.

One couple had gone in to a restaurant and looked at the menu and waited for their order to be taken, and then waited some more, after 30 mins they gave up and went elsewhere.

It was pointed out to them that maybe they were in a pub and should have ordered at the bar.

To us it is 'common sense' that you order t the bar but if you have never been in a pub you don't have that knowledge.

There are a few YouTubers who have left high control religions. One left the Amish and one thing he bought was microwave. He had got a potato, put it in the microwave and then noticed a 'pizza' button, so he pressed it, believing the microwave would cook him a pizza.

A couple have left the Mormon church and didn't know how to order coffee.

Well assumptions are the mother of all F ups. So she shouldn’t have assumed, she should’ve asked. I agree though with others that said she has no common sense. A child’s meal isn’t going to be counted because they eat cheaper!

The phrase "common sense" is often used to shut down an argument or discussion. "You should have just used your common sense!"

As a child at infants school, we were publicly humiliated if we dared to do something without being told: I remember a whole class being roundly humiliated with books being thrown on the floor, because they had dared to write a word in them (which the teacher had written on the board), but not actually given the instruction to do so. Not long after this, the headmistress taught us the words "use your common sense", and "I don't want to hear silly questions". Should I use my common sense, or not?

Also, it seems that in 2020, we had a complete amnesty from common sense. People were pleading with the government to provide roolz for everything. "What shall I do if I accidentally overstay my allotted hour for being outside? Where should I go to the toilet, as you've closed them all? AIBU about my neighbours taking their grandchildren to the shops, as the little shits children are vectors of transmission?" (The 1-hour thing was never a rule anyway.) Later, when Saint Boris retracted his apology for Partygate, he as good as said in an interview "people should have used common sense when it came to interpreting the roolz, as I did. It's customary to thank departing people with a toast, so I did just that. The public were idiots for interpreting the rules literally." (When people were forcibly banned from saying goodbye to their dying loved ones.) The defence "I used my common sense" would probably not stand up in court in the cases where the CPS is still chasing people for Covid fines.

I get your point OP I think common sense is based on lived experience, can be highly situational and the perception of other's lack of it needs to involve a bit of empathy/self awareness. What is obvious to you may not be to another person.

I have autism and I'm very practical and an excellent problem solver, I am also the sort of person who does stupid shit like @GarlicPound 's friend at times!

My dad, also autistic, thought everyone around him lacked common sense as they didn't anticipate what he was going to do and he thought it was obvious. He could not do the same with others and had little to no common sense himself though. This just made him more convinced that he was surrounded by people who were less intelligent as items always broke when he used them as they were 'badly designed', people would crash into his car when he pulled out in front of them, why weren't they paying attention? He did not have the ability to understand that others were not privy to his thought processes as his thinking on a matter was the only way that made sense to him!

Also, the trend of helicopter parenting will hardly train young people to have common sense.

Ditto health and safety: there are prescribed procedures for just about everything in the workplace.

One word less loaded than “common sense” is “judgement”, as in “use your judgement”. And another phrase with a similar meaning, and despicable to many MNetters is “you do you”.

I think common sense is what you acquire as you go through life. This is experience and wisdom.

One word less loaded than “common sense” is “judgement”, as in “use your judgement”. Judgement is not the same thing as common sense at all. Common sense is simple, fast and almost instinctive, judgement is deliberative, slow and involves review of facts.

And another phrase with a similar meaning, and despicable to many MNetters is “you do you”. You do you is directly opposite to common sense, it means everyone can come to a different conclusion by virtue of being different people.

Common sense is really just a relic from the old ways when there's was less freedom, choice and difference.

This thread shows that common sense means something different to everyone!!!

I don't think I always have common sense. It's a great thing if you do have it as its such an advantage in jobs and life.
Re that thread, the kids' meal only cost £5 so was already discounted, and I'd know not to expect double discounts. Eg. You wouldn't use two discount codes when ordering online.
I think people reacted strongly on the thread as the OP was talking about writing a damaging review to try and get a voucher. Even though the restaurant had done nothing wrong and the OP said the food was lovely etc. People don't like spiteful, grabby behaviour

I suppose it depends on the definition. I think I'm capable of thinking through consequences and learning from experiences but I'm useless at "reading between the lines". There have been loads of times where someone has been annoyed at me because I didn't "just know" something when it's something that I needed to be told or something I needed to be taught how to do.

Common sense generally equates to using your brain. If you actually think about something then it becomes obvious. Where the common sense comes in is where those obvious things shouldn't need to be thought through. For instance if a deal is for money off food for 5 people why would it include children who already get food at a reduced rate or free.

That kind of thing is to stop the coffee shop owners being sued when someone spills a hot drink on themselves.

I think when people talk about common sense they actually mean knowledge that comes from experience.

For example a PP said it is common sense to carry the bowl of sugar to the table where your coffee is rather than carrying a spoonful of sugar across the kitchen, but you only know that because you have experienced that sugar easily falls off a spoon and it is inconvenient to clean spilled sugar off the floor.

I used to work with someone who taught me "There's nothing common about common sense". Everyone's level of 'common sense' is different and remembering this has made me (slightly) more tolerant as I've got older!

Well, that's common sense 😉

I can't believe there are so many people saying common sense doesn't exist, is arcane knowledge, or is somehow discriminatory. Sure: go ahead and wash your hands in boiling water, spend your entire income on lipsticks every month, wait for a train on the motorway, complain when shops demand payment for things you take. No-one's forcing you not to and you can't be expected to just know stuff, can you?!

I'm not sure there's as much of a shared idea of what constitutes common sense as there used to be in the less individualistic past.

before I get shouted at by a poster who is 82 and invented coding

😂

Common sense is making the effort to accept what is bloody obvious.
Not acting all shocked and flabbergasted, thinking they look cute.

But I think often people know but they are just chancers who fake ignorance and are just trying to play the system and get very disgruntled when they realise they are not that clever and they won't get away with it.

Like the OP.

Or the many threads from parents, raised in the same country, with the same experience, who suddenly are in utter shock that they have to spend money to buy clothes for their kids, or my personal favourite, are flabbergasted that children have a few weeks off in the summer 😂

Do we know that as the OP never showed or said what it said - she assumed she was correct.

I know what you mean OP, one of my cousins has a lot of problems with things like this. Someone she j we would have to sit her down and explain what this issue was and why she was wrong. I’m trying not to make her sound stupid, because she isn’t, there are just some things she doesn’t ‘get’ that others do. Just the way her brain works