To expect my husband to help out with household chores?

[cheeset]

My husband work full time Mon-Fr and has a very responsible and stressful job which takes an hr to commute. He leaves the house at 6.30am and generally gets in before 6.30pm so a 12hr day.

He is also responsible for doing DIY in our house, which he does sporadically at the w/e.

I work 3 mornings a week.

I have the responsibility of the children, I ferry the 2 dc's to Rainbows, Scouts, French, Ballet, and sort all things to do with the school,blah blah.

I take care of the dc's (6)&(11)every half & summer terms on my own apart from one week when DH is with us for our annual family holiday.

I have responsibility of the household, cleaning, washing, ironing, finances, car etc..

I have responsibility of our social life, if I don't arrange, we don't do.

Should I expect my DH to do anymore in the house in the way of chores?

What i'm aiming for is to lose my martyr mentality and to stop feeling like I'm the one who does everything. Of course I don't, DH works hard but away.

AIBU?

But if you do it 50/50 at weekends when you are both at home then shouldnt you do it 50/50 in the evenings when you are both home too?

I agree that all the housework can be done during the day and should be done all by me, but when it comes to dealing with the baby in the evening and doing dinner we share and I think thats fair, especially when I am up in the night (and usually start my day earlier than DH does as DS1 wakes early!)

No, because at the weekends he hasn't been to work.

I could get the house spotless every day before he gets in from work and be 'finished' by about 7:30 (that's including clearing up after dinner) but most days I don't, because I sit on my arse on MN, so if I still have things left to do when he comes home, it's down to me.

VictorianSqualor

LOL

I dont mean housework though, I mean dinner for me and DH (we eat together after he gets home. He's usually home at 8pm ish and we eat about 9pm) and I mean dealing with the colicky baby.
Much as I would LOVE to, I cant get all the screaming and wailing done and dusted before he gets home (the baby, not me )

I did used to do dinner myself before DS2 came along. I expect I will again soon as he gets big enough to have a proper bed time and start sleeping through!

I think everything has to be more flexible with a baby, once they get to about one though, then it becomes part of the normal day-to-day routine and everything should settle back down. (she says watching DP rock the baby whilst she posts on MN )

Ive been SO busy today! The house looks mint. DH giving DD bath and lifes good. >

Off to polish brass. BBS

How do all you efficient people have your chores done by the time your OH's get home?

On the days when I'm at home, yes I get all the chores done by the time the kids finish school, but then they come in and cause havoc again. Then there's dinner, homework and bed and the place is an absolute tip.

So still chores to do in the evening. What am I doing wrong?

Hey LB, today is a one off as far as the house looking tidy. I'm with you on the house looking bad again once the kids home.Dont mention the homework & dinner-burnt chips, steak in cream sauce a disaster as had to make it under a grill as no hob, tasted crap.

The kids don't really make much mess.

All clothes to be taken off upstairs in bedroom, uniform either hung back up for next day or put in washing basket.
Anything they play with they put away once it's finished with.

We all have dinner together, once we've finished, I wash up, DD brings plates through and scrapes them, DS does mats and any sauces or cups, I polish table.

Then it's a bit of telly time with Dad (they are obsessed with Malcolm in the Middle).

Bath gets run, they get in, get out, dry themselves, get pj's on, go to bed.
No mess made.At the most I may have to pick up a towel.

Dad has the baby whilst all that gets done, or if I'm feeding DS2 he does bath/bed routine.

So if everything else is done during the day (washing/hoovering/any washing up as soon as it's made/dusting) then there is nothing more to do once they go to bed.

"The kids really don't make much mess"

LOL!They don't!
What mess do yours make?
Surely toys and clothes? They can deal with both of them, why should you clean up after them if they're capable of doing it themselves?

Oh I know I know. But they defeat me.

Food as well and plates. Must be more insistent...

Well, we all eat together, they are only 3&7 (and seven weeks, but he doesn't really count, his mess is the greatest!) so don't make themselves any food, and it is eaten at the table at all times, so they can't make mess with plates/food/cups.