Could I of been the bigger person

[Overitmum]

Sil constantly brings up partners ex’s and I don’t know if I’m only noticing it more now or she’s doing it more because we are due baby in a few weeks and the attention isn’t on her but it’s really getting to me now. Last night she again brought up one of his ex’s and said she chats away to her all the time and she really liked them together and I just couldn’t stop myself and blurted out yeah I really get one well with that girl your boyfriend was cheating on you with she’s a lovely girl. Sil just sat in silence then the rest of the time I was there. His other sister has in the past told her to shut up about it and when she heard what I said she couldn’t hold back her laughter and said she deserved what I said. Partner just said she’s been winding me up to get a reaction and she finally got it not my fault it was that reaction. If I’m honest I could have said a lot worse than I did. Should I of been the bigger person and ignored her or did she get what was coming.
For background info sil always needs to be centre of attention and will do anything to make sure if she’s not happy no one else is happy. Her relationship is so toxic her partner openly cheats all the time and has told her many times he only stays with her because of the children and the fact she threatens to harm herself when he dose leave.

Good for you. People get away with this sort of shit far too often because people want to be polite and not cause a scene. I think she will be careful of what she says to you in future.

Well done 👏

I think you needed to stand up for yourself in order to put a stop to the sniping.

I think that your OH should now be having a word with his sister so that a line is drawn under it all. He should have discussed her behaviour with her before and made it clear that it wasn’t acceptable, really.

Honestly, there’s no merit in holding it in until you explode, because then you often overreact and end up feeling bad. Better to tackle things as they come up. I mean, if your SIL was continually ringing up how much you liked your partner’s ex in front of him, wouldn’t he be responding ‘Yes, it’s nice you liked Audrey, sis, but unless you’re very forgetful, you’ll remember that she was shagging my best friend at the same time as me, so you’ll excuse me being less enthusiastic’?

You all sound lovely

Yes, you could have been the bigger person

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, for obvious reasons - guess she got reminded of that!

Of course you could have been the bigger person, but should you in this instance? Give her a taste of her own medicine - every. single. time she does it till she stops doing it :)

And you could of not been an bad-mannered pedant.

It depends on if you, or your DP has previously told her to stop. I doubt her children would enjoy you all laughing about their father cheating on their Mother. Your baby is being born into a shit show.

You could've ignored it, but there was no harm in giving her a taste of her own medicine. She might think twice about doing that again now.

I'd have done that long ago and followed up with "stfu" if she did it again.

But if my partner hadn't told her to stop before now I would have binned him off

I think you should have challenged her but in a different way.

There was no need to make a below the belt comment about her partner cheating, which was obviously designed to put the knife in where you knew it was going to hurt.

You could have gone with the MN favourite of "did you mean to be so rude, talking about how much you liked them together when I'm sitting here?"

Addressing it differently would have made the point without stooping to her level. With the comment that you made, I'm afraid you sound as bad as she does. And as a pp has said, none of you sound very nice.

Is she socially awkward? That was my first thought

But you matter too so yanbu at all

You did what any normal person sick of her nonsense would do. She constantly likes to undermine you and make you feel shit about yourself/your relationship and you had obviously had enough and retaliated. Hope she got the message and leaves you alone. Those that think the OP is wrong are doormats!

I was waiting for this. MN never disappoints 🤣🤣🤣

That is absolutely awesome!

There's always one ill-mannered poster who just has to 🙄

Well.. play with fire, sometimes you get burnt

Well done for standing up for yourself

I can almost forgive you for your misuse of the word of.

Could I of HAVE been the bigger person

@verycloakanddaggers , your post is worse.

Well done to you, hopefully that shuts her up now.

It really is so fucking grating though.

Haha well done. Time and a place to be the bigger person and this was not it. Sounds like she was winding you up and didn’t expect you to bite

No one actually thinks, "Did you mean to be so rude?" Is a cutting response 😅

OP, you could have been the bigger person. But, instead, you shut her up. She's not going to do it again, is she? 😉

Thousands and thousands more who saw it and winced. It's good to know for next time.