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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Could I of been the bigger person

34 replies

Overitmum · 10/10/2025 15:41

Sil constantly brings up partners ex’s and I don’t know if I’m only noticing it more now or she’s doing it more because we are due baby in a few weeks and the attention isn’t on her but it’s really getting to me now. Last night she again brought up one of his ex’s and said she chats away to her all the time and she really liked them together and I just couldn’t stop myself and blurted out yeah I really get one well with that girl your boyfriend was cheating on you with she’s a lovely girl. Sil just sat in silence then the rest of the time I was there. His other sister has in the past told her to shut up about it and when she heard what I said she couldn’t hold back her laughter and said she deserved what I said. Partner just said she’s been winding me up to get a reaction and she finally got it not my fault it was that reaction. If I’m honest I could have said a lot worse than I did. Should I of been the bigger person and ignored her or did she get what was coming.
For background info sil always needs to be centre of attention and will do anything to make sure if she’s not happy no one else is happy. Her relationship is so toxic her partner openly cheats all the time and has told her many times he only stays with her because of the children and the fact she threatens to harm herself when he dose leave.

OP posts:
INX · 10/10/2025 21:04

dailyconniptions · 10/10/2025 20:52

Thousands and thousands more who saw it and winced. It's good to know for next time.

Yes, 'saw it and winced'.

Those are the people who have the good grace and manners not to pull a complete stranger up on their grammar.

And as for 'good to know for next time', only a complete narcissist would think that after a lifetime of not learning it correctly, they would be the one who makes it stick 🙄

nilniosk · 10/10/2025 21:05

renovationqueen · 10/10/2025 16:08

Yes, you could have been the bigger person

Yawn 🥱

Dippythedino · 10/10/2025 21:10

Serves her right,, she deserved that comment. Let her now feel uncomfortable in the knowledge that she's with someone who cheats on her. It's going to eat away at her all weekend and she almost certainly will keep her trashy mouth shut now.

LivingTheDreamish · 10/10/2025 21:13

Presumably she already knows her DH cheats? In which case I think what you said was justified OP. She's clearly operating out of a place of being hurt about her relationship but that doesn't justify her constantly taking swipes at yours. Hopefully this will get her out of your hair so you can focus on baby's imminent arrival.

DoggieHeaven · 10/10/2025 21:23

It's not like it's a one off, she's constantly doing it. Sometimes you just need to shut something down decisively. Which you did.

iziwizi · 10/10/2025 21:31

👏

ibuprofenhead · 10/10/2025 21:42

It’s all very Jeremy Kyle.

dailyconniptions · 11/10/2025 02:13

INX · 10/10/2025 21:04

Yes, 'saw it and winced'.

Those are the people who have the good grace and manners not to pull a complete stranger up on their grammar.

And as for 'good to know for next time', only a complete narcissist would think that after a lifetime of not learning it correctly, they would be the one who makes it stick 🙄

It's also pretty OTT to react like that. We ALL make mistakes and it doesn't have be a massive deal to have a helpful pointer sometimes. It's a good thing to keep learning through life. It's not a thing of shame at all. Allowing such errors to perpetuate isn't helpful to the writer who is hoping for people to read her post and for some to reply.

Katemax82 · 11/10/2025 09:45

ThreeWordUsername · 10/10/2025 19:59

It really is so fucking grating though.

Not as grating as my mil calling COVID covic

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