Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take a soft toy to the dentist as an adult?

58 replies

FettleOfKish · 10/10/2025 08:45

I’ll start by saying I’m an extremely anxious dental patient after some awful experiences in the past. After circa 3 years of putting it off I’ve got the first of 2 appointments for a very deep clean with local anaesthetic this afternoon and I’m already shaking and feel sick about it.

They’ve arranged for me to have a decent gap between anaesthetic application and treatment (a problem in the past has been a Dentist refusing to believe me that it hadn’t taken effect after 5 minutes) and I’ve got my earphones charging and a good podcast downloaded. I think having something to occupy my hands would help as I’ve gripped my own hands so hard I’ve left marks in the past. No fidget toy or time to get one, would I be unreasonable / completely ridiculous to take one of DS’s tiny jellycat toys to hold / grip / stroke? I’m nearly 42 FFS but I can’t seem to talk myself out of this absolute fear of the dentist and I really want today to go ok so I’m not even worse next week Sad

OP posts:
Monster6 · 10/10/2025 08:49

Honestly I think anything that gets you through would be fine OP. You must take care of your dental health, it’s self care. 💕 they will have seen it all. Tbh, dentists can give you a very low dose diazepam which I think would help you. You’ll be ok. Medical phobias are real, and anything to allow you to attend should be acceptable.

Swiftie1878 · 10/10/2025 08:51

Just do what you need to do. Fear of the dentist is a pretty standard fear - no-one will judge you! xx
Good luck 🩵

BlessedAreThePureOfHeart · 10/10/2025 08:52

If it helps you then it's fine, I'm sure no-one will be phased by it.
I took my childhood toy rabbit to my Nan's funeral. I didn't get it out but opening my handbag discreetly and looking at it really helped me cope when I felt overwhelmed. Some people might think that's weird but whatever gets you through is ok.
Just to say though that my Mum is very scared of thr dentist so she takes half a valium before hand that the GP prescribed as a single dose and she finds that really helps!

Original poster
FettleOfKish · 10/10/2025 08:54

Thank you for your kindness. I’ve had diazepam in the past but I’ve got toddler DS with me this morning and have to drive myself to the dentist and back later so not an option this time. I’ve popped a tiny soft dragon in my bag x

OP posts:
Lifesyoungdream · 10/10/2025 08:54

I think the dentist will just be happy that you are relaxed ,am sure it will make their job easier.
Do what you think is best for you.

Destiny123 · 10/10/2025 08:57

They really won't mind. I'm an anaesthetist, tons of adults bring soft toys to theatre

MagicalMystical · 10/10/2025 09:01

I cane to say the same - you do you.

I also notice you’ve taken diazepam before so how about breaking a tablet in half or even less and just taking a small dose?

Other thing to say is that you have got through anxious times before so you will get through this. 💝

ChubbyPuffling · 10/10/2025 09:02

They won't mind at all.

Ours has a jar of stress/squeeze balls from conferences they've been to. I always use one, really helps to de-focus.

DrEmilyCrabtree · 10/10/2025 09:08

Whatever gets you through it. I take a wodge of tissues to clasp as I have also left nail marks in the past

GetToHeaven · 10/10/2025 09:08

I’m sure the dentist won’t mind. My only thought is that during a clean there’ll be water spray so just bear that in mind if you don’t want the toy to get wet. Good luck!

dottiedodah · 10/10/2025 09:13

Hi OP Im the same! solidarity .Im sure the Dentist wont mind .If it helps you then defo do it .Teeth are so important .Dentists are so hard to get as well,Go for it! thinking of you much lovexx

Moltenpink · 10/10/2025 09:17

It’s not strange to get sensory comfort from items. I hope all goes well for you. X

childofthe607080s · 10/10/2025 09:18

Very Sensible to take small things to help you manage

Bloatstoat · 10/10/2025 09:22

Absolutely do what helps you - I work in healthcare (nothing to do with dentistry) and lots of adults have objects or rituals that help them get through treatment, no one will judge and just be pleased you have something that helps. Wishing you well for the treatment today, it's a really brave step to take and you'll be so pleased that you've done it (once it's over!) Flowers

EmeraldShamrock000 · 10/10/2025 09:24

Of course, whatever makes you comfortable.
It'll be over before you know it.
I concentrate on nose breathing as a distraction, keeps me focused. Best of luck. 💐

CrimsonStoat · 10/10/2025 09:27

I think it's a great idea 🙂

ChristmasSlacker · 10/10/2025 09:30

Do whatever makes you feel better.

But the best thing you could do is find a wonderful dentist.

I totally sympathise. I used to cry in the waiting room before checkups 😳 for extractions I had to be sedated.

I then found my wonderful kind, understanding, sympathetic dentist who was at pains to explain that if I felt any pain AT ALL I had only to raise my hand and he’d stop, go slower and/or pump another pint or two of anaesthetic into my gums if need be.

I can now even have extractions with just local anaesthetic proud

Not going to lie - the fact he’s absolutely beautiful,with the softest, most calming voice helps too 😳

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 10/10/2025 09:31

Do whatever you need to do to help you feel less anxious, OP.

I hope it all goes smoothly for you.

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 10/10/2025 09:31

Dentists are much nicer and kinder than they used to be. I endured a series of truly sadistic dentists for years, who all made the dentist in Little Shop of Horrors look like the Werthers grandad. As a result, I didn't go to the dentist for a long time 2010, maybe)...

This year I went to a new dentist, and he was amazing. I needed an extraction, unsurprisingly, and he told me I had to ear something before the extraction, and if I didn't, he would feed me. Dentist humour is weird. BUT, it didn't hurt at all, it was over in minutes, and he was nice.

Good luck, OP. I promise you, they've seen it all. A tiny dragon in your handbag wont even be at the edge of weird for a dentist!

dicentra365 · 10/10/2025 09:31

You do whatever you needs. Anyone who judges you for this (and I'm sure the dentist won't) is an idiot.

FloozingThePlot · 10/10/2025 11:38

Go for it. Whatever helps. I am a very nervous dental patient and inevitably I cry as I walk in the door for any 'work' (which turns out to never be as bad as I expect it to be). I've experienced nothing but kindness and reassurance from everyone I've encountered. Top tips: tell them you're anxious, take a couple of paracetamol before you go, and (if you're attending a private practice) ask if you can have some numbing gel before the anaesthetic. Good luck xx (PS: I'm older than you)

MaloryJones · 10/10/2025 11:42

YANBU
If it helps You, then go for it.

StrawberrySquash · 10/10/2025 11:50

I would see that as a very normal logical thing for an anxious patient to do. It's all about distraction!

DuckWithOneWing · 10/10/2025 11:57

I do! My dentist hasn't even commented on it, so I think I can't be the only person who has.

Nanny0gg · 10/10/2025 12:03

FettleOfKish · 10/10/2025 08:45

I’ll start by saying I’m an extremely anxious dental patient after some awful experiences in the past. After circa 3 years of putting it off I’ve got the first of 2 appointments for a very deep clean with local anaesthetic this afternoon and I’m already shaking and feel sick about it.

They’ve arranged for me to have a decent gap between anaesthetic application and treatment (a problem in the past has been a Dentist refusing to believe me that it hadn’t taken effect after 5 minutes) and I’ve got my earphones charging and a good podcast downloaded. I think having something to occupy my hands would help as I’ve gripped my own hands so hard I’ve left marks in the past. No fidget toy or time to get one, would I be unreasonable / completely ridiculous to take one of DS’s tiny jellycat toys to hold / grip / stroke? I’m nearly 42 FFS but I can’t seem to talk myself out of this absolute fear of the dentist and I really want today to go ok so I’m not even worse next week Sad

Stress balls. They're a game changer

My dentist has a stock of them so I'm clearly not the only one that needs them (though I have my own too)

But if you haven't got time for an Amazon delivery then take the toy (but check your dentist hasn't got any - they save the nurses' hands from abuse!)