To take a soft toy to the dentist as an adult?

[FettleOfKish]

I’ll start by saying I’m an extremely anxious dental patient after some awful experiences in the past. After circa 3 years of putting it off I’ve got the first of 2 appointments for a very deep clean with local anaesthetic this afternoon and I’m already shaking and feel sick about it.

They’ve arranged for me to have a decent gap between anaesthetic application and treatment (a problem in the past has been a Dentist refusing to believe me that it hadn’t taken effect after 5 minutes) and I’ve got my earphones charging and a good podcast downloaded. I think having something to occupy my hands would help as I’ve gripped my own hands so hard I’ve left marks in the past. No fidget toy or time to get one, would I be unreasonable / completely ridiculous to take one of DS’s tiny jellycat toys to hold / grip / stroke? I’m nearly 42 FFS but I can’t seem to talk myself out of this absolute fear of the dentist and I really want today to go ok so I’m not even worse next week

Thank you so much for all the comments, making me feel so much better about it. I’m not in the UK so can pick and choose private dentists and my new one comes highly recommended for anxious patients, she was lovely at my first check up (at which I cried).

My DS will need to start having check ups soon and I’m determined to get a handle on my own fear so I can take him and not pass on any of my anxiety about it.

I've been tempted to take a small teddy with me to clutch! He's been in my bag a couple of times. I have a wonderful dentist now who has pretty much cured my anxiety, but I still keep a wodge of tissues in my hand, it's a comfort thing. And I take ibuprofen before appointments, it dulls any gum discomfort during cleaning etc. Good luck!

I take playdoh with me to the dentist and when having smear tests. Playing with it is a great distraction and the only comments I've got about doing it have been positive.

I highly sympathise with you and find it perfectly good idea to take the toy. I am also very, very, nervous. What has helped me is taking really good care of my teeth. I go regularly, I pay super good attention to my teeth, this way I hope to ward off pain and problems. It doesn't stop the terror but at least I feel I am doing all I can. Good luck and well done for going!

Well I’m here and had the numbing injections without any tears. Now have 25 minutes or so to wait until I’m completely numb for the clean. Thanks all again for the support!

Take whatever you need to get yourself through the appointment.

I spent my most recent appointment with a fidget toy in each hand playing with both at once for distraction. It helped a lot. I also usually have headphones on and keep my eyes shut. Not being able to see or hear anything helps with convincing myself it's not happening.

Well done!
Good luck with the rest of the appointment.

I'm just a bit sad you have to borrow your son's toy. You need to have your very own Going-to-the-Dentist Teddy or whatever who can go with you every time.

Oh I do have two teddies of my own (an Eeoyre I bought on a solo trip to Disneyland race weekend when I was newly divorced, and a Steiff Llama I fell in love with in an airport). They’re both big though, the little jellycats are just the right size, and honestly DS doesn’t show much interest in the dragon so he might become my dentist dragon, reminding me that I’m going so I don’t end up breathing fire

Get yourself a rosary! (Might even earn a bit of perpetual indulgence that way, next time you are at the dentist.)

Not quite the same but I have a pain killing injection every 3 months and find it painful. (I'm fine with the flu vaccine, etc)

I usually take a stress ball. Forgot it on Tuesday and took my phone. I see the same nurse every time. She asked where my stress ball was. I replied that I forgot it. She then said they have stress balls at the hospital

I've done it before and will do it again! (41 year old)

Maybe treat yourself to a new plushie after it's all over? ❤️

I survived! Asked her to stop twice for a breather, during the second break she asked if I was ok with some concern, but I got through it.

Part 2 is next week and includes a filling so if I can get a Drs appointment for my day off on Tuesday I might see if I can get a diazepam even if I just take half of it beforehand. Actually one of our GPs is a medical cannabis expert so he might have some other suggestions!

You wouldn’t think I gave birth with only 2 paracetamols would you

I held one of my young child's soft toys at an awkward gynaecological appt - not only did it give me something to grip but I think the scent was actually somewhat relaxing. The practitioner didn't bat an eyelid.

I’m sure they won’t mind.

Well done! You’ve been amazingly brave already.

You wouldn’t think I gave birth with only 2 paracetamols would you

Isn’t it weird how we all fear different things?

I have absolutely zero fear of anything dental or medical - to the point where hospital staff have commented on it several times. But put me in a room with a large spider and I’d probably die of the horror. I literally have nightmares about it.

Similarly I’m really unafraid of even potentially violent confrontations, and have intervened in fights, thrown violent drunks out of bars, calmed down volatile people having psychotic episodes in public etc. But making a phone call at work to introduce myself to someone and set up a meeting with them makes me so anxious my stomach cramps up and I start sweating.

I totally get you OP. Fear of the dentist must be horrible.
I have a friend who has a small bag with lavender and she holds it if she is upset or nervous about something. She says her brain notes the softness of it and diverts some attention from the fear onto how nice it feels and it helps her.
Do what you need to do.

Well done OP. As someone who hasn’t been to the dentist in four years because the last time I went I fainted after an experience at the hands of the hygienist which I can only describe as some sort of water-boarding, I know how you feel!

I do know that dentists are usually very kind to us wimps. My old dentist used to get his nurse in to hold my hand sometimes! Happily she didn’t seem to mind either.

You might now have inspired me to make that appointment….

Go for it.

As a hilarious, have temped in a dental practise but also phobic - they’ll just be delighted you’ve got a plan that means won’t faint. It’s mighty inconvenient when patients do that.

I count. 1234 breathing in. Counting each one on a finger against the arm rest on the chair with one hand (like slow motion finger drumming) and then the same for breathing out on the other hand. Starting with little finger to make it harder to do.

It’s enough to concentrate on that it helps tune anything else out.

Well done OP! Now relax and enjoy your weekend 🥰

You’re so right @BauhausOfEliott. Thanks to my work and some volunteering I can stand up and address a whole room full of people on a known subject without any issue, but I was incredibly nervous about meeting DH’s family for the first time and have sat through many a playgroup only speaking to DS because I’ve not had the nerve to start or chip into a conversation.

My 36 year old took his blanket and me! The staff were brilliant with him.

Well done.

@FettleOfKish YANBU, I had eye surgery in a private clinic in my early 40s and gave no indication of being nervous but the nurse still popped a soft toy in my hand after I was wheeled in lol

Also, little tip, I have a small unobtrusive cross body bag which I just keep around my person when I go to doctors or sit in dentists chair and attached on it is one of those plushie keyrings so I always have a little ‘comfort/stress’ toy as it were to help me get through any difficult appointments 🙃