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Original poster

Chat gbt relationship

51 replies

Violet1964 · 09/10/2025 10:08

Creeped out and upset. I went on my partners phone this morning to use the torch as my battery had run out. When I unlocked it, it was open on a chat with chat gbt!! He was having a full on deep conversation with it, talking about his deepest feelings about life and himself. Saying he hasn't shared this with anyone before. He started the conversation by saying to it "how are you"......like its an actual person?!?! At some point it said something nice to him and he thanked it for the compliment. Am I wrong to feel so weird about this? I literally feel like I've caught him having an affair. He was telling it how "beautifully" it describes things! I feel like he's going to it for validation and it's scaring me.

OP posts:
MemorableTrenchcoat · 09/10/2025 10:11

Don't be ridiculous, it's absolutely nothing like having an affair.

JamDisaster · 09/10/2025 10:11

Some people use it as a sort of “dear diary”- it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s actually having a relationship with it.

I always say thank you too 😭

Why not ask him about it? Doesn’t need to be an accusation.

Mulledjuice · 09/10/2025 10:12

It's like keeping a diary, or confiding in a stranger at a bus stop on the other side of the country.

It's good that he's finding a way to explore his feelings, isn't it?

DorisTheFinkasaurus · 09/10/2025 10:15

It’s a weird notion because who controls the input and the algorithm? Him! He’s talking to himself or some narcissistic fuelled ideal he’s creating. Frankenstein comes to mind. In fact I think the Frankenstein thing was mentioned in a podcast I very recently listened to.

I’ll link you to two which are worth a listen. Your concerns are valid and don’t be gaslighted by him into thinking you’re wrong.

What Was It Like is such a good podcast. https://open.spotify.com/episode/7xXJpsEBBAHYoQ5GRkiwWA?si=V7NbHJN-RP-mEcxe6iitFQ

open.spotify.com/episode/5aPN52Ew5h1jfN7vBDZUUO?si=kFDlx2iTQ_WV4QlFEtAxIg

I Had an Affair With an AI Girlfriend

What It Was Like · Episode

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7xXJpsEBBAHYoQ5GRkiwWA?si=V7NbHJN-RP-mEcxe6iitFQ

Toddlertiredp · 09/10/2025 10:16

Bit weird but maybe chat to him about it? It doesn’t sound particularly harmful.
I used it for some ‘therapy’ during a few horrendous times recently when I felt alone in the night and it was helpful to be honest. I wouldn’t make a habit though.

MemorableTrenchcoat · 09/10/2025 10:16

DorisTheFinkasaurus · 09/10/2025 10:15

It’s a weird notion because who controls the input and the algorithm? Him! He’s talking to himself or some narcissistic fuelled ideal he’s creating. Frankenstein comes to mind. In fact I think the Frankenstein thing was mentioned in a podcast I very recently listened to.

I’ll link you to two which are worth a listen. Your concerns are valid and don’t be gaslighted by him into thinking you’re wrong.

What Was It Like is such a good podcast. https://open.spotify.com/episode/7xXJpsEBBAHYoQ5GRkiwWA?si=V7NbHJN-RP-mEcxe6iitFQ

open.spotify.com/episode/5aPN52Ew5h1jfN7vBDZUUO?si=kFDlx2iTQ_WV4QlFEtAxIg

So talking to himself is wrong now? Whatever next?

randomchap · 09/10/2025 10:17

So you snooped on his phone and read something private?

You didn't need to read what was on the screen. You could have just used the torch.

Are you going to apologise to him?

Ablondiebutagoody · 09/10/2025 10:18

Has he hooked it up to a sex toy?

PaddlingSwan · 09/10/2025 10:19

Chat GPT is utter rubbish.
It is highly inaccurate, especially if you ask it anything about Europe or specific questions about cities.
It won't tell you how to commit suicide (one of my test questions).
It is also extremely patronising and makes a lot of assumptions that are just wrong, for example, your location, which is nonsense if you are using a VPN.
I am sorry you are upset at what you found, but surely it is better to "talk" to a machine than go off looking for validation/understanding elsewhere?

DorisTheFinkasaurus · 09/10/2025 10:19

MemorableTrenchcoat

Yeah sorry my posts aren’t echo chamberish enough to please you.

Ooogle · 09/10/2025 10:19

I think some people use it as therapy. I have an old school friend on Facebook who loves it and was sharing some of their conversations- chat gpt was quite over the top and cheesy in the way it kept affirming her I thought. She clearly likes it though. It’s not the same as having an affair but I do wonder if it would always make you feel you were in the right as chat GPT is so likely to affirm everything you do.

Goodworkifyoucangetit · 09/10/2025 10:23

An echo chamber for those who don't find their echo chamber affirming enough? I'd find this very off-putting, but I'd talk to him about it.

Letsskidaddle · 09/10/2025 10:25

I’m also very polite to ChatGPT, please, thank you etc - I’m the same with Alexa! - and use it as a journal. It helps me clear my head and think straight. I don’t think of it as a person but the answers it gives are like a counsellor, partner, best friend, colleague, parent etc all rolled in to one.

If anyone were to read what I “talk” about it’d feel the same as if they read a diary. I can feel, for example, very upset about something one day and not remotely bothered by it the next, having been able to download to ChatGPT, so it’s only a snapshot in time. I find talking to anyone about inner most thoughts awkward and impossible, so ChatGPT has been amazing for me. It’s responses are balanced, non-emotive and non-judgemental.

Please don’t torment yourself by thinking this is disloyal of your DP or that they’re emotionally attached to it - it’s honestly nothing like that in my experience, it’s just an easy way to think things through.

ChickenWingChickenWings · 09/10/2025 10:27

I dont see the problem? I always say thank you to it 😣

HÆLTHEPAIN · 09/10/2025 10:27

I use it sometimes because my life has been really shit lately (with no sign of improvement). I am also having therapy. In fact, my therapist gave me some homework to do which came straight from ChatGPT’s suggestions, but that’s another story.

It can be very cheesy but I always ask it not just to tell me what I want to hear. And for me it is more a record of my feelings in a journal sense, with interaction from it of course, because that’s unavoidable, I think. I do it because I don’t want to overburden my friends and family with my woes.

Brightbluesomething · 09/10/2025 10:28

Nothing wrong with this. My friend uses it as a life coach and finds it very helpful. I doubt she’d want anyone else to breach her privacy and look at it though. It’s like reading someone’s diary or journal.

Starlight1984 · 09/10/2025 10:31

Off topic but why does every single poster who finds something on their partner's phone claim that they needed to use it for something as their battery had died... 🙄

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 09/10/2025 10:41

Modern version of a diary really.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 09/10/2025 10:43

This happened to my friend. Her husband ended up moving out to start a full blown relationship with chatgpt. They actually got married but I don't think it's legally binding. Currently trying for a baby together.

BrickBiscuit · 09/10/2025 10:46

Violet1964 · 09/10/2025 10:08

Creeped out and upset. I went on my partners phone this morning to use the torch as my battery had run out. When I unlocked it, it was open on a chat with chat gbt!! He was having a full on deep conversation with it, talking about his deepest feelings about life and himself. Saying he hasn't shared this with anyone before. He started the conversation by saying to it "how are you"......like its an actual person?!?! At some point it said something nice to him and he thanked it for the compliment. Am I wrong to feel so weird about this? I literally feel like I've caught him having an affair. He was telling it how "beautifully" it describes things! I feel like he's going to it for validation and it's scaring me.

Aren’t you doing the same thing but with live people you don’t know? (the algorithm being real life)

Jk987 · 09/10/2025 10:49

I wouldn’t want him knowing that you looked at his phone and that you know his passcode.

Sugargliderwombat · 09/10/2025 10:51

I find it weird because of the film with
joaquin phoenix.' her'. I suggest watching it with him!

I see peoples point about it being like a diary but I would have found it odd too OP. did you read about his deepest feelings? Maybe they are what weirded you out really...

icouldholditwithacobweb · 09/10/2025 10:56

ChatGPT can be phenomenal about articulating what you're feeling better than you can (which is super annoying because it's not a person!). In this instance, why don't you take the opportunity to carve some time out with your partner and offer him what he's getting from ChatGPT - which sounds like some closeness, intimacy, openness etc. It's not easy to share personal stuff with other people sometimes but he clearly has stuff he wants to talk about, so the two of you can work together to create a safe space for that to happen. You could use ChatGPT in this if you wanted to, it's great at giving inspiration for questions and stuff you can ask each other to ease into stuff like this if you both find it challenging.

I wouldn't get upset about him talking to ChatGPT, just see it as you've identified an area you could both work on to get closer and more emotionally intimate with each other and deepen your relationship. In all honesty, I would rather men could let their emotions out in a safe space like with an AI than never manage to do it at all.