To tell you how fearless I feel in my 50’s?

[Floweryfrock23]

Perimeno has kicked me to the curb. In fact my uterus has been the sole cause of all my life’s woes other than bereavement. That is extremely impactful to well-being. In a negative sense.

And I’ve heard and read over and over that as you age, you care much less about a lot of the shit that would have bothered someone in their 20’s or 30’s. The “ we do not care club” brilliant example of this.

But today, I did a job interview with zero fucks given, if they like me, they like me, if they don’t, they don’t. I wasn’t nervous, I answered the questions well and with confidence. I was my usual, happy, sunny kind and open self. Not a het up tight ball of anxious downtrodden jelly.
I’m not nervously waiting to see if I’m through to the next round.
Previously I would have torn myself to pieces feeling torn and wrenched about letting my current employer down. Nope. Not at all.
Imposter syndrome heavy within every fibre. He can fuck off quite frankly.

So because of perimeno insomnia, I’ve been sat here since 4am reflecting and I feel quite proud actually. I’m a brave grown ass woman at long last.
Feels good.

Hope you land the job!!

I’m much the same as you, I think I left all the fucks behind in my 40s-it’s so liberating isn’t it!

Sounds great. I can't wait to feel like that

I’m 60 and still waiting! How do I not give a fuck please?!

Leave them here on this thread, we’ll dispose of them for you. You don’t need them anymore 😄

Yep definitely care less you know the saying “those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind” !

Lucky you! Many of my peri friends talk about it making them horribly anxious. They’re waking up in the night worrying about everything and anything. So far, I’ve not had this either and I’ve always been a zero fucks type of person.

Yep as you lose oestrogen you start to think and feel more like men do most of their lives - which explains a lot of their behaviour some successful some not!

LOVE this and yes! We will stamp all over those fuckers!

It’s liberating really, been in a male dominated industry for years and at 54 I now feel formidable and DGAF.

Yes, did experience this with the thundering heart palpitations to go with it, but through that bit now. There’s definitely layers to perimenopause, think I’m coming out the other end now.

Not sure when I no longer gave a fuck about it all but I think I probably saw off the last few doubts during Covid.

My first foray was becoming a grandparent, any angst that I had as a parent was gone I could see off any criticism, eye rolling judgement with a no fucks granny stand off. I wish parents had this confidence.

It was so liberating that I started using it in other areas of my life

@Anannymus I started my journey way before 60 you just need to put yourself first.

I get that it's good that menopause is talked about but I don't think it needs to be pulled into everything women do post 40. I absolutely agree I give fewer fucks than before and am more likely to say no to an unreasonable request and generally stand my ground more but I think it's to do with confidence and experience more than anything else. Also options...if I go for a job interview now, if I don't get it, that's ok, I can just stay where I am so the stakes are lower so fewer nerves.

That’s great logic and I agree that perimeno is brought into a lot of things because it kind of dominates every day and when you are in the thick of it, it’s hard to think around or above it.

Im glad to finally be able to leave it behind if I’m honest, feel back to being myself without the black cloud. It’s the probability and choices and “walking lighter” that contributes to the confidence brought along side the experience and wisdom of aging.

I think it's a confidence thing which maybe may not coincide with a hormonal thing. The older you get the more experience you have to draw upon.

I am living my best life in my early 50s - words I never thought I would say. Had the courage and gumption - through six long years in my 40s - to get out of a toxic marriage, land a fantastic new job, move countries, nurture my DC who is thriving, and start a relationship with a lovely man (breaking my pattern of finding toxic men through long hard therapy!). So, yes, 50s are fantastic! More power to you, OP, and all you other lovely women on this thread!

I think I got this at 40. 44 now and wondering what delights are waiting at 50 :-)

Ditto, zero fucks given
I have no shame any more.
it’s extremely liberating

I'm pleased for you OP.

I've always had low self esteem and my social anxiety went through the roof during Covid isolation and it's never recovered.

I'm a lot older than you and I would love to have the freedom to not give a damn but I don't think it's ever going to hapoen for me.

Yup. My field of Fucks is bare except for one very small corner: it’s so bloody freeing, isn’t it? All the time and energy carefully tending the fucks in my youth - what a bloody waste. I wish I could have crafted my ‘go fuck yourself and don’t let the door hit you on the way out’ mentality decades ago.

I’m the opposite - I was always a kick ass confident type which really came to the fore in my 40s. I felt like I’d found the secret to the universe.

Now in my mid 50s, menopause has reduced me to someone who gets up fretting at 4am about the minutiae of my job and replaying every single word of every single conversation cringing at the things I’ve said. I live in a perpetual state of anxiety about my place in the world.

Yes, since the age of 40, the list of things I give a fuck about has been getting shorter and now I'm in my 50s it's pretty minimal.

For me it’s about finally seeing what utterly selfish, stupid pricks most men are and no longer caring what they think of me.
The time, money and angst wasted throughout my youth pandering to men in various ways is mind boggling.

Find a people-pleasing cure that works for you. Game changer!!!

I'm 50 and I recognise this. Although I would expand on it a bit and say that actually I still have loads of fucks, but I'm much more selective about where I choose to give them. I worry much less about what people think of me, and that has somehow freed me up to properly enjoy and cherish my connections with family, friends, coworkers... anyone really! As I've become much more forgiving towards myself, I've also become much more forgiving and accepting of others.

Although that said, I'd also be much more confident in not tolerating any shit, but I'm very fortunate in that I don't really have anyone unpleasant in my life.

Well done! I can’t wait, can’t turn myself into that mindset with all the will in the world.

My friend went through menopause in her 20s. Obviously been through some real shit for that to happen, but the upside of her cancer has been the menopause attitude through her 30s and beyond! Also miraculously managed to have kids!