To not bother with weekly ‘busy work’ homework tasks?

[MissYouForever]

My daughter is in year 1. She has weekly spellings with a weekly test and of course her school reading book. Both of these I fully understand the importance of and we do always make sure these are all completed.

But we are also being set weekly tasks for English and Maths that I really, really do not have the time to organise and motivate my child to do. It is clearly to support their learning in whatever they are are being taught this week, but in all honesty it just feels like a box ticking exercise from the school/teacher.

AIBU to just not bother? She is 5! She is doing great at school, no problems at all. I know it will be brought up to me in the the parents evening and I hate that feeling that I’m letting my child down or not being a good enough parent to force these silly tasks to be completed every week. It’s just too much. I have a younger child, trying to manage work, the household and maintain my own sanity.

I just feel like it’s yet another expectation on the parents. Another thing we are scrutinised with and made to feel inadequate about. And I just find it irritating seeing an end of year report for my child with top ticks on all the ‘exceeding expectations’ criteria for academic progress and behaviour except a big red X on the homework heading because we didn’t do enough of the tasks (this was last year)

YANBU
For many young, reluctant children spending years bullying them through homework that they lack the maturity to do is counter-productive to their relationship with learning.

After the deep emotional bruising of 6 months of Covid "home learning" with my y2-3 and y4-5 we just couldn't cope with school work in the home and the tedious, repetitive, dull sucession of grammar sheets and maths sheets week after week after week. The reading we did, whether it was them reading to me, me reading to them, or letting an audiobook take the strain when they were struggling. I didn't always fill the reading record as that was another joy-sucker, and reading should be as pleasurable as possible (especially with dyslexic children that struggled with it anyway)

Since y7, they have been fine. They now have the maturity to manage it themselves with a little gentle prompting. The tasks are also varied, purposeful, interesting and connected more directly to their learning in class.

Both of mine need a couple of hours to decompress after surviving a day of school (both have some extent of SENs), then there's sports activities/ scouting and the more severely dyslexic child goes to tutoring where he has specific work to address the gaps in his skills (far more useful than a generic homework worksheet). They've had to be older before they've had the time, energy and maturity to cope with it.

We've always been positive about learning in general life; it just wasn't to be found on a general worksheet sent home from the primary school.

A few posters have mentioned setting habits early... to us, it was a negative, harmful habit that caused too much distress and was counter-productive in the long term. They just weren't ready.

I would say - get a grip. Do the homework, save it up to the weekend if needed.

Definitely don’t bother in year one, it’s an optional extra I think. Spellings and reading and times tables, fine, but just let the other stuff go unless your kid wants to do it.
They have clubs and music practice if they play an instrument. Plus they should be helping around the house a little bit, learning practical skills like cookery. Plus they have to rest!

How long does it actually take? We’re all busy. We make time. It’s pretty rushed to be honest but I can’t imagine being so busy that THIS is the thing I decide to not do

I totally agree. At such a young age this additional homework serves no benefit and negatively impacts on a happy home and family life.

I completely agree

Homework is too much at this age, it's just homework for the parents!

And don't they overcomplicate it!

It should literally be: read a chapter of this book every night. Five minutes.

It's too much

No way do I make my kids do extra school work when they get in. I don’t do extra work after office hours. I need to decompress, as do they. Our primary homework is optional.

Secondary is compulsory though, so eldest does their homework, but it’s their responsibility to decide when and manage their time effectively.

Most homework is an absolute waste of time. Schools should stop trying to dictate to parents what they do in their time with their own children.

Just do the reading and spelling and don’t worry about the rest. Enjoy your evenings instead. Encourage playing, sports and helping at home. Life is too short to waste it forcing small children to do homework. Plus they don’t end up further ahead or better off for doing it! By the time they get to high school and need to do homework they’re old enough to manage it themselves.

homework set is supposed to be done independently

Genuine question but why? The homework is often literally set just to tick a box and to appease parents who think children should get homework. It doesn't actually benefit the children so why would you encourage someone to waste time at the weekend doing it?

Also the OP does not need a grip. It's fine to disagree with her approach but at least rationally argue why you think she should do the homework instead of just throwing out random insults.

I am a teacher and I think that’s a ridiculous amount of work for a 5 year old. I wouldn’t complete it. The research shows homework at primary makes no difference. I only read with my oldest who just achieved 4 9s and 5x8s at GCSE so don’t be made to feel bad. Do what you think is best for your child. I think reading is really key, and I support my middle child with her maths because she finds it more challenging.

It’s ridiculous. Me and my dh both work full time so we can’t fit in loads of homework for a 5 year old. Ds1 is in year 1. Were asked to help them with weekly spelling tests, maths, reading and writing. He’s doing really well so we’re fortunate we don’t have to push too much. We do some reading and he reads to us but that’s about it.

I agree and as a PP said research shows is of no benefit at primary level.

I only ever did readers with mine in primary school. Two of mine are now at university and I can't say I think it ever affected them negatively.

She’s 5 ffs.

I always made it a game with the kids.
we did bits on walks/ way to school.
It was a nice way to bond and I made it fun.
I like teaching though, and I’m the same at work, and people come to me for help with stuff/ new systems.

I think the idea is to try to normalise it and incorporate it into to their weekend so they’re prepared for going through school.
Just set aside ten minutes on a weekend and do what you can in that time. If you are consistent and keep it short amount of time, you might be met with less resistance each week.

It was simpler for us to do it that go down the 'schools have special meetings because they have nothing better to do that they their hardest to judge parents and make them feel inadequate' route

School sets work our child did it and we helped when we needed too

I’m finding all these replies really interesting. DD is in Y6 and we’ve had weekly homework all the way through primary. It takes 20-30 minutes once a week so we’ve usually done it on a weekend (with the occasional rushed Monday breakfast time!). This week she had done herself it before I even checked. I’m hoping this is the start of a good habit formed, ready for secondary.

Until now, I’ve helped her and I don’t always know the answers so we’ve had to work it out together (I’m looking at you, long division 🙄). Husband is dyslexic so he took charge of arts and crafts.
Anyway she knows now that it’s normal to get it done, regardless of whether we personally feel it’s a good idea or not.

A saying in this house is “play the game”. Do what they need you to do to get to the next stage.

Also used to give me the rage when I would tell the kids we were going to watch a film as a treat and they would say 'oh, we watched that at school'.

How about school does the learning, and I do the fun....

You picked a bad school in that regard. DD is Y1, they get lots of reading books (DD gets 6 a week, 3 on Tues and 3 on Fri), but that’s it. No other homework, that’s their formal policy. From Y2 they do TT rockstars too.

The school gets good results, compares equally to the school nearby that piles on the homework. There is very little evidence to support homework apart from reading for little ones.

As a teacher I fully agree with this!

Spending time with family/friends and playing after a long school day should be the priority especially for a child so young. Lots of this stuff is just a tick box exercise that many teachers do not want to set but have to.

Back in the day (70s/80s) primary schools did not give homework and didn't have uniforms.

Primaries now remind me of mini high schools.

This is extraordinary. Yr4/Yr 5 being independent ? You do realise that " prep" school pupils will have an hour of supervised home work each night. This is also what we did ( state school) to prepare for the 11+. As others have said it engenders good study habits which they will take with them into secondary school. It can also be good bonding. I cannot imagine allowing my 8 year old to " get on with it" . DCs are now adults, both academically sucessful.

Do you think parents in Hong Kong or Singapore say “oh well, it probably doesn’t matter, I haven’t got time”? I doubt it. It seems symptomatic of a very different learning culture. Learning is not just something that happens at school and parents do need to contribute too. Yes even at 5 - especially at 5.

And if you think “get a grip” is an insult, then the rest of AIBU is going to blow your mind 😂