Edinburgh Waverley station needs me.

[TallOrLong]

Here are the facts:

• I go to many train stations, I never ever get confused elsewhere.
• I never go to Waverley without walking round in a big loop in a state of confusion.
• From observation I am not the only one.

I am prepared to provide executive advice. Payment terms are a baguette from upper crust, a bag of percy pigs from M&S and some scottish fudge from, well, somewhere that sells good fudge.

This is not actually an AIBU, because I am not being unreasonable. I am on a train leaving Edinburgh having finally found my platform. See you next time for the same fun again Waverley!

They intentionally hide the long-distance trains because they don't want people to self-harm by leaving Scotland. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

What about the trains going North, the ones going more Scottisher?

Yes exactly! I can get onto a train at Waverley successfully (after some practice) but get hopelessly baffled on arrival.

When you've sorted Waverley, can I direct your attentions to St Pancras? Totally unclear which is the upper platforms for Kent and which for the Midlands, with the added bonus of the secret Thameslink platforms in the basement.

Yes M&S has 2 doors but it’s advised to go in through the middle waiting area building, past the pub and Burger King and then it’s more of a one way system to the tills and past the Americans deliberating over which twee tin of shortbread to buy, to exit opposite cafe Nero and left luggage (should you ever need to leave your luggage)

Actually OP, you've reminded me about what most annoys me, which is that to get into M&S by the main (?) entrance, they lure you into Burger King (or whatever it is now) and then at the very last second - surprise! You're in Marks.

For the reward of a caramel wafer I might steal this suggestion of yours of paint lines when they engage my services.

They’re the easy ones, the platforms that end by the central concourse between boots and WHSmith.

I fear that if you have not suffered the pain of The Circular Walk of Waverley (this could be set to a jig), you don’t know what you are letting yourself in for. I’m not sure it would be fair to rope you in on such false promises.

It’s a mess of a station…

1. You learn which platforms which trains go from (LNER will never be off the main concourse for example)
2. the up and forward arrows are confusing. Platform 8&9 ⬆️ but also 5&6 ⬆️
3. the platforms are not numbered entirely logically, but eventually you will have a bit of a bird’s eye map of the station in your head
4. There’s nothing worse than being able to see your platform, but not the way to it! This only ever happens to me at Waverley

Reminds me of the times Grandad would drive me to university (I went to St Andrews) and he would spend the last hour of the journey composing irate letters to Edinburgh council about the shit signage! Not that he ever sent any…

My mind was blown last time we went down to London and it was platform 6 or 7 instead of 1? 20? I dunno what platform that even is.

I totally agree with the arrows, they all just vaguely point towards market street. No wonder it's always so cramped and infuriating.

And what is up with platforms 8 and 9?

This is kind of my point. I use St P a lot. Never have a problem.

Waverley is the priority.

Once that is done I shall do a poll to identify where next, and work out my applicable charges (St P will be a glass of very expensive champagne from the bar next to the upstairs platforms. Plus nibbles. Where one olive is more than most peoples mortgage).

Thank Heavens for that, Tall. Having read some of the other comments, I was beginning to worry that you would take me up on the offer! 😬

If you're going to set it to a jig, you could use the Parson's Farewell for the music as it gets faster and faster until everyone collapses in a heap🤔

Grew up in Edinburgh and was genuinely surprised when I moved away to university that not all big cities have such bamboozling stations.

I don't find it too bad now, but only tend to use the easy platforms. Platform 7 is an arse though...and it's always the one your train goes from when you're running late, and have too much luggage, a potted plant, 7 bags of percy pigs and a coffee. They make you walk half the way down to holyrood before letting you get on the train.

I recommend the magic secret exit that brings you out by John lewis. To avoid the hell that is waverley steps and the north bridge junction. Obviously only of any use if you want to go to John lewis.

That’s exactly how you end up in a labyrinthine odyssey

I’ve been lost there before. Asked a policeman for help and he took me in the same loop I had already tried multiple times.

I feel my services will be such that this will never be required. However, we could have this for people to congregate at, to discuss The Good Old Days before people knew how to get to their train. With free shortbread.

The random bridges… and escalators that you go down and can’t get to where you thought you were going.

it’s like a dystopian snakes and ladders game

WOAH WOAH WOAH. Is this a true fact or mumsnet misinformation? I can come out at John Lewis?? Hurry this way, let us share a wee dram and tell me more of this secret world.

There’s an exit to John Lewis??
what next……Narnia??

I feel this first answer was set up to put all the following posts into context.

Yes. It should be this simple.

No. It is not this simple.

I have known Waverley station for decades and I still get lost in it. Platform 18 is my favourite.

I once tried to meet my sister in Edinburgh Waverley. We gave up and each got on possibly separate but possibly the same train to the other, smaller station (name escapes me?) and found each other there instead.

Pleased it's not just me!

It’s a while but I’ve been through Waverly a few times s d don’t recall being confused. Maybe I was just lucky. It did take me over an hour to find my way out of a station in Tokyo once though.