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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School and reasonable adjustments

55 replies

PhoebeCat23 · 08/10/2025 15:44

My son has a lot of sensory needs which are impacting on his ability to go to school. I have to give him extensive sensory input before he goes to school and even this sometimes isn't enough. He reports it feels itchy and uncomfortable and (if we make it out of the front door), is pulling and readjusting his clothing the 15 minute walk to the bus stop. He wears bamboo underwear and socks which he has no difficulty with but school uniform simply does not exist in these materials. I have made efforts to soften the clothing to make it more comfortable which has helped a little, but not enough.

I have provided his school with an OT report outlining his needs as well as sharing his challenges around the uniform. They have allowed him to wear another top under his P.E. t shirt so it is not touching his skin directly but apart from that, are refusing to allow any further adjustments. They've just said he MUST wear school uniform and he MUST attend. I'm now being pulled over the coals because of this. I feel like a broken record repeating myself to them but just being ignored.

What on earth do I do? I have done everything I can possibly think of (but still open to ideas if I've missed something) to help him. I don't want to get into trouble but I'm at a loss as to what else can be done. They simply won't budge.

Advice and ideas much welcomed. 🙂

OP posts:
CharlieWeasleysWife · 08/10/2025 15:47

How old is your son? What happens if you send him in, in an approximation of the uniform that he can tolerate (eg grey bamboo joggers, white bamboo T-shirt)?

Bloobelly · 08/10/2025 15:48

How old?

splim · 08/10/2025 15:51

Private or state school? How old? What is the uniform?

Straight hemmed jogging bottoms (without cuffs or elastic at ankle) should be a fairly uncontroversial switch if uniform trousers are black or navy. Also jersey uniform trousers, which are usually sold as girls' trousers, are extremely comfortable and look even more like normal school trousers.

With the OT report I think you need to be talking to the SENCo. If it's a private school, might they be trying to "manage him out"?

Octavia64 · 08/10/2025 15:53

How old?

what’s the uniform? Some uniforms can be adjusted more easily than others and if it’s white polo shirt or shirt it’s possible to source alternative fabrics.

does he have a diagnosis or EHCP? Either will help with reasonable adjustments.

PhoebeCat23 · 08/10/2025 15:55

My son is 12 years old. I have asked if they will allow him to attend wearing something smart but that is comfortable for him. They have refused to allow this. He attends a state school. The uniform requirements are grey school trousers, white shirt, tie and blazer.

OP posts:
Ablondiebutagoody · 08/10/2025 15:55

Is the uniform ties and blazers or trousers and t-shirt?

PhoebeCat23 · 08/10/2025 15:56

Octavia64 · 08/10/2025 15:53

How old?

what’s the uniform? Some uniforms can be adjusted more easily than others and if it’s white polo shirt or shirt it’s possible to source alternative fabrics.

does he have a diagnosis or EHCP? Either will help with reasonable adjustments.

He has been refused an EHCP assessment and is on the waiting list for an autism assessment.

OP posts:
PhoebeCat23 · 08/10/2025 15:56

Ablondiebutagoody · 08/10/2025 15:55

Is the uniform ties and blazers or trousers and t-shirt?

Trousers, shirt, tie and blazer.

OP posts:
Bloobelly · 08/10/2025 15:58

This issue completely aside, how is he getting on? Good behaviour? No issuee?

PhoebeCat23 · 08/10/2025 15:59

I'm curious to know what my rights are (if any) if the school refuse to allow alternatives.

OP posts:
Bloobelly · 08/10/2025 15:59

What happened last year in year 7?

and at primary?

Bloobelly · 08/10/2025 16:00

PhoebeCat23 · 08/10/2025 15:56

He has been refused an EHCP assessment and is on the waiting list for an autism assessment.

On what ground was he refused? And how many times have you attempted over the years?

PhoebeCat23 · 08/10/2025 16:01

Bloobelly · 08/10/2025 15:58

This issue completely aside, how is he getting on? Good behaviour? No issuee?

His behaviour isn't great tbh. He has low self esteem and confidence and is anxious in new situations. He struggles to concentrate for extended periods of time and needs support with emotional regulation.

OP posts:
flawlessflipper · 08/10/2025 16:01

Remind the school in writing they must make reasonable adjustments in line with the Equality Act and must make there best endeavours to meet DS’s SEN as per the Children and Families Act 2014. If they continue to refuse, complain. They are leaving themselves open to a disability discrimination claim.

Did you appeal the refusal to assess?

IAintAfraidOfNoGoat · 08/10/2025 16:02

Ring SOSSEN and IPSEA to get some advice, both on this issue and about applying yourself for an EHCP.

Refusing to allow adjustments for uniform is ridiculously short sighted. Is it an academy?

PhoebeCat23 · 08/10/2025 16:03

Bloobelly · 08/10/2025 16:00

On what ground was he refused? And how many times have you attempted over the years?

I was told he didn't meet the threshold for a needs assessment as his needs were only sensory based. I've attempted it once but have also been dissuaded by the school SENCo from pursuing one.

OP posts:
Ablondiebutagoody · 08/10/2025 16:03

It's a really tricky one and am interested in the responses that you will get. DS was telling me yesterday about a kid getting detention for wearing white rather than black socks. Schools are so rigid with this stuff that it would be difficult to dish out those detentions if others are allowed to wear what they like.

Hankunamatata · 08/10/2025 16:03

Bamboo leggings and t shirt underneath shirt?

Winterscomingbrrr · 08/10/2025 16:05

Meet with the SENCO or email with the OT report and quote the correct law to support this - SENDIASS or IPSEA can help with this. If they refuse to allow it then follow the complaint procedure (it should be on the website). Step one is normally a meeting with the headteacher, make sure you inform them that this is a formal complaint. Every time you meet follow up the email with and outline of what was discussed, what you asked for and what they said they would or wouldn’t do. If they aren’t allowing reasonable adjustment then keep following the next step in the complaints procedure.

MightyGoldBear · 08/10/2025 16:06

You might get more advice on the SEN board op. Mine is still in primary so I'm yet to tackle a secondary. Mine has been allowed to wear his own clothes or he simply doesn't go. He has a legal right to an education. I can't for the life of me see why uniform is such a sticking point for schools it's ridiculous.
Have you spoken to school senco team?

Bloobelly · 08/10/2025 16:06

PhoebeCat23 · 08/10/2025 16:01

His behaviour isn't great tbh. He has low self esteem and confidence and is anxious in new situations. He struggles to concentrate for extended periods of time and needs support with emotional regulation.

Why EHCP refused? How many times have you tried?

what was the situation re uniform in year 7 and primary?

Winterscomingbrrr · 08/10/2025 16:07

Put in another application for a needs assessment for ECHP and if it’s rejected then appeal it. In our LEA 98% of rejected assessment are aproved by judicial review.

Londonmummy66 · 08/10/2025 16:07

There are firms that make sensory school wear like trousers that are normal looking but soft on the inside and shirts with flat seams etc. I think M&S have a range of shirts and there are also specialist companies if you google them.

Bloobelly · 08/10/2025 16:07

PhoebeCat23 · 08/10/2025 16:03

I was told he didn't meet the threshold for a needs assessment as his needs were only sensory based. I've attempted it once but have also been dissuaded by the school SENCo from pursuing one.

Multiple professionals have advised against?

what about paying privately for an assessment if possible?

Bloobelly · 08/10/2025 16:08

you need to pursue EHCP as a matter of priority

the school will have explained why they don’t think worthwhile…. What did they say?