AIBU to think the charity shop could have given my neurodivergent child a chance

[Fairydusthello]

as a retail volunteer. To put in context this is an international charity who promote inclusivity rather than a one off small charity shop. I completely get that my child's interview/chat skills are not top notch but she is cognitively able and willing to try. They went for the chat almost four weeks ago and heard nothing back the advert is still up and I know they contacted the referee before interview and they responded positively. I just feel so disappointed surely they could have offered a trial shift.

I used to be an Oxfam volunteer, my own ND son still is. When I was there we had several adult and young volunteers with additional support needs.

Charities are very hot on safeguarding and in order to have under 18s in the shop, the manager, deputy or lead volunteer on duty that shift need to be PVG or DBS checked. This takes time. A volunteer with additional needs does not count towards the "two able bodied adults on duty at all times" rule, which can cause massive issues if there are no able bodied adults but lots of ND/additional needs people who want to volunteer.

Staff turnover of paid staff can be high, and if the shop is down a manager or trying to recruit they may just not have time to train new members of the team - any new member of the team. They may be awash with Saturday morning teenage volunteers but need people on a Tuesday morning for example.

There may be all sorts of legal, practical and safeguarding reasons why they just can't accommodate your child at present.

Thanks. Good to hear about the inclusivity and positivity. My child is 18 so the under 18 rule won't apply.

The under 18 rule may not apply, but depending on the level of her needs she may be classed as a "vulnerable adult" so again will not count towards the ratio.

No one has to disclose a disability when applying for a job. I don’t tick the disability box.

Everyone at the Oxfam I volunteer at is ND including the manager - I think everyone who applies gets taken on there

That's interesting because she was asked if she would be OK to be left in the shop on her own but from what you've said she should not even be counted as an able bodied member of staff. It's worrying that the manager doesn't know the health and safety policies of the organization. Obviously not hot on inclusion policies either! She is over 18 and flexible with days so the DBS check availability should not have been a barrier.

Well exactly, but unfortunately there's the attitude as already displayed on this thread that anyone ND or with mental or physical health issues will just cause a problem and their colleagues won't like it because they think they're getting favourable treatment and if the delivery to the customer/client/patient is slightly different then they'll complain, because it seems to be the most popular hobby for a lot of people right now, complaining about service of any kind, so you're behind before you even start if you have any of those.
It's what makes me laugh (or would if it wasn't quite so horrible) about society demanding that disabled people, those who are ND and those with mental illness must work - in order to get jobs we have to be treated equally, and whilst that can be enforced for an employer, no one's forcing the general public to do the same, so it's not going to work.

I wish that was the case at our local branch!

A basic DBS check doesn’t take long.

Knew it was Oxfam. There inner workings are terrible and they are one of the worst for inclusivity. Remember and interview is a two way process, I wouldn't want my daughter working for these charlatans either, especially after their conduct so far. Draw this up as experience and teach your daughter to dust herself off and apply again, elsewhere. She will learn this best if she sees you practice what you preach.

Just out of interest, I note that after initially referring to your daughter as ‘she’, you have now repeatedly said ‘they’ or ‘their’.

Is this just an odd use of grammar your part or could she have mentioned in her interview that she has specific requests around how other people speak about her which may have put the store off?

I haven't volunteered at Oxfam for about 2 years but I think it was more detailed than a basic DBS. They may have changed their policies.

I was just trying to say that there may be loads of practical reasons why they can't accommodate the OP's child right now. It's not necessarily that they didn't like her or she came over badly. There are no hard and fast rules - my son who is ND is counted in the adult ratio as his neurodiversity doesn't hamper decision making or understanding health and safety procedures. My friend's daughter on the other hand also has diagnosed autism and ADD but struggles enormously with interaction with customers and with things giving change or remembering to shut the till after serving. Everyone's different.

It is pretty poor not to provide feedback though.

Oh that's my grammar.

I think Tesco are a fairly inclusive employer. In my local store one of the regular workers is ND, and another Tesco store employs people with Down Syndrome.

Ah ok, thanks for clarifying.

Are there any other local charities your daughter can apply to? It is very rude of Oxfam not to reply to her and well done to dd for wanting to volunteer. Hopefully when she gets over her disappointment she can find something else she’ll enjoy. Wishing her good luck.

Thank.you. She is also keeping an eye out for suitable paid work but there's not much out there at the moment hence the charity shop application.

That sounds great. Are there any other options like an old peoples home helping out with activities or an animal rescue charity? I’m sure prospective employers will be impressed with her work ethic.

She doesnt like animals but a care home could be a good shout - Thanks

Honestly OP, I think your overthinking this. Young people apply for jobs/volunteer roles every day, and aren't successful. You seem to have assumed that there was one role with your daughter the only applicant, and that they've not taken her on purely because of her disability.

When my DD dropped out of uni, she sat at the computer and applied for dozens of random jobs while she considered her next move. She didn't hear back at all from most of them, and didn't get as far as an interview. No-one can just walk into a job at that age.

There is no excuse for them not getting back to your daughter but just to put the other side of the picture “employing” a volunteer can bring lots of challenges.
I’m going to have to keep this ridiculously vague as the actual situation is very niche.
I work with a team, council run activities, that due to it’s nature would be popular with many volunteers including those with a neuro diversity, Downs Syndrome or a wheelchair user and on the face of it there should be no barrier to these people being able to volunteer but they have to say no to many potential volunteers as it’s actually easier to run without them. They do in fact get approached by a lot of support organisations trying to find placements for their clients.
Sounds crazy right but the reality is that ideally there should be 2 paid staff running each activity but due to cost saving staff cuts there is only 1 paid staff running each activity. One person can deliver the activity and focus on the needs of the clients but they have no spare capacity to basic train or manage a volunteer who needs some support themselves, also the volunteer must be available at certain times for the activities otherwise there is no point in having them. So the team do have some volunteers who undergo full training and who are able to carry the same responsibility as a 2nd paid member of staff would. The team leader is a lovely person who would love to offer more volunteering opportunities but it’s just not achievable with the current staffing levels. They are also expected to provide student placements, council commitment, and making that work takes every minute of any spare paid staff time there is.

My ds is not neurodiverse just shy but he had a bad experience when attempting to volunteer for Oxfam. Their adverts for how much they ‘want’ volunteers do not match the reality. If the process is so competitive and picky they should stop their current mode of advertising. I was quite taken aback as charity shops were not like that when I was young. The adverts are still out there claiming they can find a role for anyone ! And he has volunteered and worked already so not a complete beginner - as if that should matter ! I also think references should only be taken up when a role is offered or close to being offered. They are time wasters.

@willowthecat - Totally agree . They advertise a role for 'everyone ' which leads to expectations that they are fully inclusive and welcome all. They do need to change their advertising campaign if it's not the case anymore but I suspect their funders who give them large amounts of cash state they need to be fully inclusive although it's not the reality.

That sounds hard. In future though it might be worth doing a few applications at once to up her chances- that goes for anyone looking for jobs as putting all your eggs in one basket is stressful. If a shop is struggling for volunteers it might be that they don't have enough of a team in place to support your daughter at the moment.

As a charity Trustee I have obligations that all recruitment, paid and unpaid, is fair and above board. Which sadly means not be able able to offer positions in cases like this, if there is a better applicant. Ask for work experience for a limited period instead?