AIBU to think the charity shop could have given my neurodivergent child a chance

[Fairydusthello]

as a retail volunteer. To put in context this is an international charity who promote inclusivity rather than a one off small charity shop. I completely get that my child's interview/chat skills are not top notch but she is cognitively able and willing to try. They went for the chat almost four weeks ago and heard nothing back the advert is still up and I know they contacted the referee before interview and they responded positively. I just feel so disappointed surely they could have offered a trial shift.

That's so poor. Especially when a lot of these charity organizations harp on about equality and inclusion but I guess they need to do that to keep their funders happy.

So sorry to hear this, OP. It's so disheartening for our ND DC...I have a 21yo with ASD/ADHD, struggling to find work post uni....not even a graduate job but just something to gain work experience....problem is he doesn't interview well even with lots of prep, and of course there are just so many young people out there who will interview better than someone with autism, so the jobs go to them.

No advice but I absolutely get it, it's depressing. I hope your lovely DD is able to find something soon.

@FlyingPandas - Thank you. I hope your son finds something too. It doesn't help that it's an extremely difficult job market at the moment anyway before you even consider neurodiversity and the challenges it can bring when job hunting.

I have volunteered extensively over the last 15 years, and things have changed so much. The last volunteer role I went for (3 hours every fortnight) the 'recruitment' process was very rigorous, there was an interview panel with 3 people, it was identical to a professional job interview. Before they were so happy to get volunteers, you gave a page worth of details and started ASAP. Now there is a shortage of volunteers, but they make it very difficult. A lot of it is health and safety related.

That’s shocking behaviour from the charity concerned. I hope your son finds something soon. I volunteer in a charity shop. The shop manager (paid employee) is ND as is one of the other volunteers. We also have a volunteer who has Down’s Syndrome and does an excellent job.

Is there another route in perhaps via a charity or organisation who specifically place people with ND/disabilities in voluntary placements? As a support worker I've supported adults with LD who volunteered in charity shops, it was one of the main work placements, and the role was organised via other charities who specialise in it. It would usually mean they wouldn't need an interview as they'd have a trial period instead.

@verybighouseinthecountry Yes- I volunteer myself though not in a charity shop and the process can be quite selective depending on the role. I guess I assumed this wouldn't so much be the case as a retail volunteer in a charity shop but maybe I am out of touch - like you say things have changed and as another poster implied the calibre of shop volunteers is now of a higher standard so they can be picky.

@Rustymoo Thank you it's great to hear about positive experiences.

Having worked for Barnardo's the only reason that they would have been refused would be if the referee had said they were related, not known the person for more than 2 years or if they were under 18. We had so many young people who put aunts/uncles/parents/their friends etc down as references and they were automatically refused before the store even saw them.

Thanks for this it could be something to look into further down the line.

No, it was 2 teachers, a neighbour who dd dog walks for, and 2 family friends.

They kept asking for more and more, it was very clear they just didn't want her there.

I would have made a complaint, our volunteer recruitment is monitored and they will occasionally ask why someone was not taken on.

In my experience, so-called charity workers/volunteers are among some of the meanest people I’ve ever encountered. Big fish in small pond syndrome. Think they are heroes because they are doing “good work” but are actually power-crazed cow bags!

I know I have said this before and I promise I don’t work for them but my sons (with very varying autism) have all worked for Wetherspoons and they were really receptive and inclusive. One of them is now in management and I can’t speak highly enough of them.

Virtually every charity shop I frequent has a volunteer with extra needs. So no, I don't think that charity shops are biased against them.

But just as those who don't have disabilities don't get every job they go for, or always hear back, so, apparently, do those with extra needs.

Maybe you could give up your time to volunteer, and show them how it's done.

there are companies (blue chip) that proactively employ people with ND. Certainly in USA and some of them are global. I can’t remember where i read this info but Do an internet search, and look via the National Autistic Society. Good luck.

Wetherspoons is a great employer. Lots of people I know have worked there. My siblings worked in the kitchens around age 18 and were nicknamed “King of the Ding” as a result!

That's great to hear about Wetherspoons

My 20 yo daughter volunteered in a charity shop over the summer. It was very inclusive in terms of staffing. Not marvellous in terms of HR though. I think it might be worth chasing? There aren't many staff in at a time, and rules about under 18s, so that might have something to do with it if there's lots of applicants (and I think charity shops are seen as a gentle-ish place for people to gain experience - my daughter included).

She isn't a cow bag and neither were the other volunteers.

I have seen charity shop managers being mean to volunteers with disabilities (Scope, Oxfam) so it’s a lucky escape. How downright rude not to even give a response.

@AngelinaFibres why do you assume that someone who is ND would not be able to do the work??? I hope you do realise that there are many ND people who are doctors, scientists, lawyers, actors, shop workers, etc.

Midwives, nurses, teachers, paramedics, social workers, engineers, train drivers.

Someone clearly autistic worked at outlet local tesco for ages. If you weren’t a regular you’d think he was pretty abrupt, but the regulars all took him as he was. ND people need jobs so we need to accept them into our society.

@mummymissessunshinethats made me chuckle as my very slow and methodical youngest has ‘multi microwave user’ on his skills part of his cv :)