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Original poster

Boy at school - safeguarding?

65 replies

comoatoupeira · 06/10/2025 19:23

There’s a boy at school in reception I got concerned about this afternoon.
I always notice him as he’s always in the playground after school, careering around, always seems to be with different groups. Mixes a lot with kids in other years.
He’s also got a broken foot in a cast. He’s very, very skinny and doesn’t look too healthy although could just be genes. Very pale, anaemic looking.
Today he had a tumble and was in tears because his leg was hurting (the broken foot one). I didn’t see what happened but he was sitting and an older boy, maybe year 3, was trying to comfort him a bit half heartedly. I asked them who was looking after him and he pointed me to someone sitting all the way on the other side of the park, on the grass, with her back to us. But he did it in a bit of a hesitant way.
I went over to her. Asked her if she was with the boy, told her what happened. Clearly a nanny as she was in her 20s and didn't look like him.
I watched what happened next, pretending not to. And there was just something about the way she dealt with it that made me feel weird. It didn’t seem like there was any trust between them, and it didn’t seem like she cared a lot. Next minute he was off on the other side of the park and she was back on the grass on her phone like before.
I feel like finding out who his parents are and saying that I’ve noticed their nanny isn’t actually looking after, or even keeping an eye on, their boy in the playground (it’s a huge playground with multiple areas).
Am I being a busybody?

OP posts:
Han86 · 06/10/2025 19:29

Is your child in the same class as him?
Maybe raise it to a staff member children playing in the playground after school and concerns in general about this, our school have a no phone policy for example, so it seems a bit strange you have adults sitting around once their kids have been collected. In my school the school gates also get locked pretty quickly and anyone that might have stayed to talk to a teacher has to be taken out through the office (unless you mean you went to a playground afterwards?).
I would be careful suggesting that he isn't being cared for as the woman you spoke to could be his sister,or potentially even his mum.

SonicBoomInTheRoom · 06/10/2025 19:32

The school would be aware of anything concerning so I'd suggest you keep your thoughts private.

liquoricetorpedoes · 06/10/2025 19:33

Do you know the school he goes to? If so contact the DSL (designated safeguarding lead) contact will be on the school website or ask at the office, and report what you have seen. Just give a factual account and they will take it from there. It may be nothing but sometimes little bits of information can help build a picture.
They will contact parents if they think it’s appropriate but they will have the facts about who the person watching him was etc.

spirit20 · 06/10/2025 19:35

Definitely mention it to the school, and also to the boy's school if he goes to a different one.

Ignore any poster telling you to 'keep your thoughts private' - the school only become aware of concerns through people reporting them, so it's really important people like you share concerns like this.

liquoricetorpedoes · 06/10/2025 19:36

SonicBoomInTheRoom · 06/10/2025 19:32

The school would be aware of anything concerning so I'd suggest you keep your thoughts private.

I totally disagree with this. It is probably nothing but it might be something- none of us, including the OP are in a position to know that so reporting gives people who are picture building the information they need to help children and families.

herbalteabag · 06/10/2025 19:39

Does he have an older sibling within the group of older children and that's why he's running around with them?
My then two year old used to chase round after his brother's friends in Y5/6 in the playground after school. Do you mean the school playground or another playground?

SonicBoomInTheRoom · 06/10/2025 19:42

Ok not excusing myself but my judgement may be a bit off at the moment. Just not thinking clearly.

I deserved to be called up on that and I apologise for any offence or upset caused.

Wackadaywideawake · 06/10/2025 19:51

SonicBoomInTheRoom · 06/10/2025 19:32

The school would be aware of anything concerning so I'd suggest you keep your thoughts private.

Not accurate. The school may already have some concerns or, if there is something going on, be completely unaware of it. Schools ask to be notified of low level concerns so they can build a picture and act if needed. You should speak up OP and then let the school decide.

Original poster
comoatoupeira · 06/10/2025 20:03

It’s a town playground, not the school playground

OP posts:
Seawolves · 06/10/2025 20:04

comoatoupeira · 06/10/2025 20:03

It’s a town playground, not the school playground

That doesn't matter, you can still report your concerns to his school.

Whatshesaid96 · 06/10/2025 20:10

As adults we all have a duty to safeguard children. It might seem like nothing but it could be the final piece in a picture that gets a child help.

londongirl12 · 06/10/2025 20:13

SonicBoomInTheRoom · 06/10/2025 19:32

The school would be aware of anything concerning so I'd suggest you keep your thoughts private.

Totally disagree. This is how some kids slip through the net, everyone thinks someone else will deal with it.

AlbionVs · 06/10/2025 20:16

It’s not impossible to be a mother in your 20s. I know lots of children that don’t look much like their mother! I don’t think you can assume she’s the nanny based on this.

His teachers will know about his leg and his looking anemic. I don’t think there’s much to report here really. Have you been to park much? I’ve seen many parents tell their DC they’re fine and send them off to play, and in some instances looking at their phone. I mean report it if you want, but I don’t really know what there is to report.

edited to add: primary age children playing together even if a few years difference is normal IME. It’s not like he was playing with a bunch of teenagers in hoodies who have no business there, and getting him to smoke is it?!
I feel like the whole OP is just odd.

liquoricetorpedoes · 06/10/2025 20:17

comoatoupeira · 06/10/2025 20:03

It’s a town playground, not the school playground

Do you know the school he goes to? If so please report, doesn’t matter it’s a town playground.

Busyschedule · 06/10/2025 20:19

I'd mention it to the school. Could be an older sibling.

scoobysnaxx · 06/10/2025 20:20

SonicBoomInTheRoom · 06/10/2025 19:32

The school would be aware of anything concerning so I'd suggest you keep your thoughts private.

Absolute nonsense.

SAFEGUARDING 101. Never assume people know anything.

If you have a concern about a child, report it. Better safe than sorry.

HRchatter · 06/10/2025 20:21

I was a stay at home Mum and an area full of nannies and au pairs. The children would always gravitate to me and the carers wouldn’t even notice. They were missing half the time when I have them sat on my picnic mat feeding them.

LadyRoughDiamond · 06/10/2025 20:23

SonicBoomInTheRoom · 06/10/2025 19:32

The school would be aware of anything concerning so I'd suggest you keep your thoughts private.

This is a completely irresponsible attitude. The school would only be aware if people report their concerns. Safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility.

Original poster
comoatoupeira · 06/10/2025 20:25

I think it’s easy to tell when someone is a nanny and someone is a mum. I’m 99.999999% sure she’s not his mum. Also from the way she reacted to his hurt leg.
Also in my area there are no young mums.

OP posts:
Original poster
comoatoupeira · 06/10/2025 20:28

I’m going to keep an eye on him the next few times I’m there, and if nothing has reassured me I’ll drop a casual “it’s probably nothing but” note to the designated safeguarding lead. Thanks all.

OP posts:
AlbionVs · 06/10/2025 20:30

comoatoupeira · 06/10/2025 20:25

I think it’s easy to tell when someone is a nanny and someone is a mum. I’m 99.999999% sure she’s not his mum. Also from the way she reacted to his hurt leg.
Also in my area there are no young mums.

Edited

Well I think you might be the first person to claim to have an excellent nanny-dar. Biscuit 🌟

Original poster
comoatoupeira · 06/10/2025 20:33

It’s about the place I live, and all the contexts that I know about, because I’m the real person in the situation. It would be great if you could just trust me on this one and not turn this into an argument.

OP posts:
UpWhereTheyWalk · 06/10/2025 20:34

I was 28 when my child was in reception... but anyway, if you have safeguarding concerns I'd go through school, not to the child's parents.

Original poster
comoatoupeira · 06/10/2025 20:35

I take your point that being in your twenties, looking different from your child, and your child appearing to have no need for you to be close to them when they are hurt, and not comforted by you, does not necessarily make you a nanny not a parent. But these are pretty strong signs.

OP posts:
FancyCatSlave · 06/10/2025 20:35

SonicBoomInTheRoom · 06/10/2025 19:32

The school would be aware of anything concerning so I'd suggest you keep your thoughts private.

This is not how safeguarding works. Any and all safeguarding concerns should be mentioned to the DSL.